Iron Kissed (Mercy Thompson #3)(45)

Everyone knew how much Bran had loved his Indian mate. I think that was part of what made Leah, Bran's current mate, a little crazy.

"So it is the wolf who mates," I said. "Carrying the man along for the ride whether he wants to or not?"

He smiled. "Not quite that bad - except maybe in my father's case, though he's never said anything against Leah. He never would, nor permit anyone else to say anything against her in his hearing either. But we weren't talking about him."

"So you set your wolf on me," I said, "when I was fourteen."

"Before anyone else could claim you. I was not the only old wolf in my father's pack. And fourteen was not an uncommon age for marriage in older days. I couldn't chance a prior claim." He rolled down the window to let the cooler night air flush the stuffy car. The noise of the traffic zipping past us increased dramatically. "I waited," he whispered. "I knew you were too young but..." He shook his head. "When you left, it was a just punishment. We both knew it, the wolf and I. But one moon I found myself outside of Portland where the wolf had taken us. The need...we went all the way to Texas to make sure there was no chance of an accidental meeting. Without distance...I don't know that I could have let you leave."

So, Bran had been right about Samuel after all. I couldn't bear the closed-off look on his face and I put my hand over his.

"I'm sorry," I said.

"You shouldn't be. It wasn't your fault." His smile changed to a lopsided grin as his hand gripped mine almost painfully tight. "Usually things work out better. The wolf is patient and adaptable. Mostly he waits until your human half finds someone to love and then he claims her, too. Sometimes years after they marry. I did it backward on purpose and got caught in the backlash. Not your fault. I knew better."

There's something really disturbing about finding out how little you really know about something you felt like you were an expert on. I grew up with the wolves - and this was all news to me.

"But your wolf doesn't want me now?" That came out pretty pathetic sounding. I didn't need his laugh to tell me so.

"Jerk," I said, poking him.

"Here I thought you were above all that girl stuff," he said. "You don't want me as your mate, Mercy, so why are you miffed that my wolf finally admitted defeat?"

If he'd known how much that last statement told me about how hurt he was that I'd rejected him, I think he'd have bitten off his tongue. Was it better to talk about it - or just let it pass by?

Hey, I may be a mechanic and I may not use makeup very often, but I'm still a girl: it was time to talk it out.

I nudged him. "I love you."

He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned sideways so he could see me without twisting his neck. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. And you're hot - and a terrific kisser. And if your father hadn't interfered, I'd have run away with you all those years ago."

The smile slid off his face, and I couldn't tell what he was feeling at all. Not with my eyes or my nose - which is usually a better indicator. Maybe he was feeling as confused as I was.

"But I'm different now, Samuel. I've been taking care of myself too long to be happy letting anyone else do it. The girl you knew was sure that you would make a place for her to belong - and you would have." I had to say this right. "Instead I made a place for myself and the process changed me into who I am now. I'm not the kind of person you'd be happy with, Samuel."

"I'm happy with you," he said stubbornly.

"As a roommate," I told him. "As a packmate. As a mate mate you'd be unhappy."

He laughed then. "A mate mate?"

I waved an airy hand. "You know what I mean."

"And you're in love with Adam," he said quietly, then a little humor crept into his voice. "You'd better not flirt with that geek in front of Adam."

I raised my chin; I was not going to feel guilty. Nor did I understand my feelings for Adam well enough to discuss them tonight.

"And you're not in love with me." I realized something more and it made me grin at Samuel. "Wolf or not, you aren't in love with me - otherwise you wouldn't have been getting such a charge out of teasing Adam all this time."

"I was not teasing Adam," he said, offended. "I was courting you."

"Nope," I said, settling back in my chair. "You were tormenting Adam."

"I was not." He started the car and pulled out aggressively into the traffic.

"You're speeding," I told him smugly.

He turned his head to say something to put me in my place, but just then the cop behind us lit up.

We were almost home when he decided to quit being offended.

"All right," he said, relaxing his hands on the steering wheel. "All right."

"I don't know what you were so mad about," I said. "You didn't even get a ticket. Twenty miles an hour over the speed limit and all you got was a warning. Must be nice being a doctor."

Once the cop had recognized him, she'd been all kinds of nice. He'd apparently treated her brother after a car wreck.

"There are a couple of cops whose cars I take care of," I murmured. "Maybe if I flirted with them, they'd - "