Into the Mist (Falcon Mercenary Group #1)(49)

Eli nodded. “Yeah, got all that covered.”

“Okay then Tits could get us info on Esteban, and he could set us up a safe house somewhere close to Esteban so we can hit him when he least expects it.”

“You’re asking a lot, Tyana,” Eli said softly. He turned to glance quickly at her, his eyes dark with indecision. “You’re asking me to put not only my life but the lives of my team in your hands. You’ve made it quite clear you don’t trust me, but you’re asking me to trust you.”

She understood his reluctance, even admired it. “When it comes to saving Damiano, I’ve done some stupid things. I’ve made bad decisions. I’ve taken responsibility for them all. There isn’t a person I wouldn’t lie to, step on, or kill to help him. The way I see it, if you can help me help him, then that loyalty extends to you. Once I give my word, I don’t break it. And once you have my loyalty, that doesn’t go away.”

“And is that what you’re doing Tyana? Including me in your loyalty? Giving me your word that you’re not going to knife me in the back when you no longer feel you need me?”

“What are you really asking, Eli? I’m sensing one hell of a loaded question here.”

“Maybe I’m asking you to trust me. Maybe I’m saying that you and I have shared a lot more than a desire to help our respective teammates. Maybe I’m asking you where the hell I stand with you.”

She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, the tight edge of panic swelling in her chest.

“Do not bring sex into this, Eli. Sex has nothing to do with trust. Sex is just sex. It doesn’t mean anything.”

“Uh huh. You keep telling yourself that, sugar. Well, here’s the deal. I don’t make it a habit of making love to a woman who doesn’t trust me. So maybe you need to think about that the next time you want me to crawl inside you.”

Making love. She had the sudden urge to clap her hands over her ears and childishly chant no, no, no. It didn’t matter that she’d pondered the differences the night before, that she had allowed herself the fantasy of being made love to by this man as opposed to a quick f**k and a mediocre orgasm.

She couldn’t have it both ways. She couldn’t expect him to trust her, to, as he said, put his life and the lives of his team in her hands, when she couldn’t offer him the same level of trust in return.

Did she trust him? She’d flatly denied the idea even when it had slipped out of her mouth. She didn’t despise him. She didn’t think he was a dishonorable man. Hell, who was she to judge someone’s honor when she was willing to sacrifice her very soul to save her brother? Honor was bullshit. Idealistic bullshit fed to new military recruits. Honor didn’t keep your ass safe. It didn’t provide you with your next meal. It sure as hell didn’t keep you from being knifed in the back by someone because you were stupid enough to trust them. Honor was for the weak.

And yet she felt safe with him. She didn’t believe, deep down, that he had any intention of hurting her. Was that trust? She didn’t know. She wasn’t sure she wanted to know.

She trusted Damiano. She trusted Mad Dog and Jonah. She trusted herself. She didn’t particularly see a need to widen that circle.

Silence fell between them, and Eli didn’t make another attempt to touch her or alleviate the tension in the air. The drove steadily onward, and Tyana focused her attention on the landscape.

When darkness fell, they continued driving for a few hours before Eli turned off the road and onto an even smaller path leading into a densely wooded area.

Only the soft light from the dashboard illuminated the interior, but she could feel him watching her as they pulled to a stop.

“Only one of us should sleep at a time. The other needs to keep watch. We can camp out in the truck. The seats recline. Won’t be the most comfortable rest we’ve had, but it beats the ground.”

She nodded, then realizing he couldn’t see her, she muttered her assent.

“I’ll take the first watch,” she added. She wouldn’t be able to sleep anyway, and she could take the longer shift, since she could always sleep while Eli drove the next day.

He didn’t argue. He reached into the backseat and dragged out a heavier jacket and a blanket then shoved them toward her.

“It gets chilly out here at night.”

She opened the door and stepped to the back where the weapons were secured. She already wore her knives on her, but she pulled out her rifle and her pistol and secured them before walking around to collect the coat and blanket from the front seat.

Eli reached across the seat and grabbed her wrist as she started to back away.

“If you hear anything, you wake me up.”

“I can handle it,” she said shortly. “Get some rest. I’ll wake you later.”

Chapter Twenty

Tyana sat, cloaked in darkness, fifty yards from where Eli had parked the SUV. She pulled the blanket further around her shoulders but was careful to keep her rifle in reach at all times.

There was a stillness to the air that unnerved her. No sound except the occasional breeze through the pines disturbed the night. No moon shone. The sky was black, the stars blanketed by heavy cloud cover.

For the first hour she kept her mind purposely blank, not wanting the distraction of letting her thoughts wander. The second hour she wondered how D was doing and if he was worried. Of course he was worried. But she hoped he kept his faith in her abilities.