In the Dark (The Rules #2)(80)

It’s all the lies. I’m proving to him that I’m untrustworthy. And once trust has been broken…how will I ever get it back?

“I don’t know what to say. I can only suggest that you tell him the truth, and soon. Before you find yourself digging an even deeper hole,” she suggests, her voice, her face kind. I know she’s trying to reassure me and I appreciate that, but I think I’m beyond reassurance. Everything is piling up on me and I feel like I’m about to lose it.

Telling Gabe the truth now? Could cause me to lose him.

And that’s a risk I’m not willing to take.

“Why are you ladies hiding out here in the corner?”

I whirl around on a gasp when I see Gabe approach, that ever present smile curving his mouth. He comes to me, dropping a kiss on my lips and sliding his arm around my waist as he turns to face Jade. “Why are you monopolizing my woman?”

My heart beats triple time at hearing him call me his woman. I really hate when he says things like that. His words give me too much hope. “We were just talking,” I tell him before Jade can say anything.

She raises her brows at me, her expression going neutral when Shep’s gaze meets hers. “Yeah. You can’t keep her all to yourself all the time, Gabe.”

“Says who?” He tightens his arm around my waist and pulls me in so close I collide with his very warm, very solid body. “I’m selfish. Everyone knows this. If I want to keep Lucy to myself, I will.” He grins down at me, though I see something in his gaze. A flash of uncertainty, a hint of vulnerability that makes me wonder what he’s thinking. Is he still worried about the potential pregnancy? We haven’t really discussed it lately. I have no idea what he’s thinking. I’m completely in the dark.

But then again, when it comes to me and what I’m thinking, so is he.

“So I’ll be your kept woman?” I joke, but I sound tense, even to my own ears. “Is that what you’re saying?”

His smile fades, replaced with a frown.

“Um, I think that’s my cue to get out of here,” Jade mutters before she takes off.

The moment she’s gone I pull myself out of Gabe’s hold so I can face him. “What’s going on with you?”

He frowns. “Uh, dinner is almost ready? I was hoping you’d come inside and help me.”

I close my eyes briefly, fighting back the stupid tears that have been lying in wait all day. All week. “What are we doing, Gabe?”

“I thought we were hanging out with friends and eating and drinking, having a good time. But I’m starting to think you mean something else.” He pauses and I see the fire in his eyes. Are we actually having a minor fight? Yeah, I think we are. “Why don’t you tell me what’s wrong, Luce.”

“I don’t know. Nothing’s wrong. Everything’s wrong.” I throw my hands up in the air, feeling stupid for making a big deal out of…nothing? I’m overly emotional and I can’t even begin to understand why.

Oh, you know why. You just don’t want to face the truth yet.

“So uh, have you started yet?” he asks, his voice low.

“Have I started what?” I’m playing stupid on purpose. I know exactly what he’s talking about.

He sighs and runs his fingers through his hair. I love it when he does that. I love his hair. I love everything about him. But I don’t think we know what we’re doing when it comes to all of this serious stuff. “Your period. Have you started yet?”

I slowly shake my head, not saying a word, and he blows out a frustrated breath.

“How late are you?”

“I don’t know.” I shrug. I do know. “Ten days?” More like twelve, maybe even thirteen. Oh yay, thirteen, a lucky number.

Not.

“Have you taken a test yet?”

“No.” I don’t want to waste the money on one. I’m trying to save every penny because I’m going to need those pennies come next semester when money’s going to become even tighter.

“Why not? We need to figure out what’s going on,” he starts, but I cut him off.

“Don’t you mean I need to figure out what’s going on? Considering I’m the one whose dealing with all of this?” I take a step back when he reaches for me. “Don’t touch me, Gabe. Don’t try and play this off with a few choice kisses and reassuring hugs. I’m kind of freaking out here.”

“I am too, Luce. Seriously. I want to help you. Be there for you.” He lets his hands drop to his sides. “But I don’t know what you want from me.”

“I don’t know what I want from you either,” I return.

“Yo, G!” Tristan yells from the back porch. He was manning the barbecue last I saw. He really irritates me sometimes. He’s just so…arrogant. And I don’t think he likes me much. Jade said he didn’t like her at first either so I don’t know what his problem is. “Where you at? Dinner’s about to be served!”

I roll my eyes. “Your people request your presence.”

Gabe glares and I immediately feel like a shit. I’m being awful, but it’s like I can’t help myself. I’m an emotional wreck. “I’d like you to come with me,” he says. “That is, if you want.”