In the Dark (The Rules #2)(44)

But she’s already mine. I can tell by the breathless noises she makes, the way her body slowly relaxes, the tight heat of her completely enveloping me. I thrust deep. Deeper. Making her moan. Making me groan. I’m sweating, the shaking hasn’t dissipated, hell I think it’s worse and I wonder at my reaction toward her. Why I feel so overwhelmed with the need to make this good for her?

Because she deserves it. She deserves only the best.

I might not be the one who can give her a lifetime of the best, but I’m going to damn well give her the best of me while I have her.

“Wrap your legs around my hips,” I encourage and she does, causing me to sink even further inside her. We both moan and I can’t hold back anymore. It’s f*cking killing me to not just unleash on her so I do, but as subtly as possible. I rise up and reach between us, touching her clit, circling it with my fingers and she clutches me close, her fingernails digging into my shoulders, her mouth at my ear as she pants these sexy little breaths that drive me wild.

Everything she does drives me wild.

“Are you close?” I ask because it’s going to happen for me at any given moment. I’m going to come. I don’t want to ruin this for her but damn it, I’m going to blow and that familiar tingle is already starting at the base of my spine. “Tell me you’re close.”

She nods furiously, her eyes popping open to meet mine. “You feel so good.”

I close my eyes and shake my head. I can’t look at her like this. Not when she’s so goddamned beautiful it makes my heart hurt. I hate that I’m going to leave her. I hate that I only have a few hours with her left and then I’ll never see her again.

But maybe it’s best. The way I feel for her after knowing her for only a brief time is nothing short of crazy. It shouldn’t be like this. I shouldn’t fall for a woman I can’t have. How f*cking painful is this going to be when we can’t see each other anymore?

Pretty f*cking painful—at least for me.

“Oh, God.” She sounds like she’s going to come and I increase my pace, my hips slamming against hers as I furiously rub her clit. My movements are clumsy, I’m losing all finesse as I chase after both her orgasm and mine and when she goes completely still beneath me, her head thrown back as her eyes close, I know she’s found it.

I watch her come, feel the squeeze and release of her * milking my cock and that’s it. I’m coming too with a shuddery groan, pressing myself inside her as deep as I can go as the orgasm wrenches everything out of me.

Being with her, listening to her, watching her, feeling her, wrenches everything out of me. I collapse on top of her, my breathing ragged, the occasional shudder still wracking my body. She runs her hands up and down my back in a comforting motion as she slowly kisses my neck.

I squeeze my eyes shut, wishing I could stop time. I don’t want this to end.

Ever.

Four weeks later…

“You’re at your apartment?” Mama answers the phone in greeting.

I roll my eyes and flop backwards onto my bed. My brand new mattress feels like a fluffy cloud though the pillows kind of suck. They’re too hard. “Hi to you too.”

Mama heaves an irritated sigh. Since the moment I left home she’s called and texted constantly—and I’ve only been gone for two days. I appreciate her concern. Really I do. But it also makes me crazy. She’s so overprotective. I know she’s having a hard time letting go of her baby girl but I also think she needs independence from me. She’s young, and now that I’m gone, she can go out and do what she wants. She’s not even forty and she hasn’t been on a date in I don’t know how long.

She deserves a life too. Just like I do. I think it’s finally time we both seek it.

“I’m sorry,” I say softly. “Yes, I’m at the apartment. My bed was delivered this morning. It’s so nice and I bought really soft sheets with a matching comforter. Thank you again.” She bought the mattress for the new apartment though I insisted I could take my old mattress with me when I moved. She said I deserved something new and refused to listen when I said it was unnecessary.

I’ve learned over the years sometimes it’s best to just let things go.

“I’m so glad you like it,” Mama says. “How’s your roommate? Have you talked to her much?”

“Yes, she’s very nice but she hasn’t been around. Her boyfriend is here with her and they’ve been spending a lot of time together before he has to go off to school.” As in, I’ve heard them in her room the last two nights, going at it like lovesick wildcats. Making me ache and yearn for something I can’t have anymore.

More like someone I can’t have anymore. And who says I can’t find another guy at school who I’ll want to bang me like a lovesick wildcat?

And why do I keep referencing lovesick wildcats? Who does that?

Though as I suspected, Gabe has set the bar high when it comes to other men. As in I can’t stop thinking about him. We’ve texted a few times since he first left but he hasn’t been very responsive the last two weeks. I think he’s trying to sever all ties, which I totally get. There’s no point in carrying on. We’ve gone our separate ways. The moment I left Santa Barbara, though, it was a relief. I needed to get away from that house and the memories Gabe and I created.