In the Age of Love and Chocolate (Birthright #3)(45)

His heart was incredibly weak by this point and he was not able to stay at the opening long. “Are you happy?” I asked him on the ride back to his estate.

“I am,” he said. “Tomorrow, we will return to work. Maybe I will live to see Tokyo, too.”

* * *

That night, I went down the hall to Yuji’s room. He often couldn’t sleep through the night. I made sure his light was on before I knocked.

“Yuji,” I said, “I’m going home to help my sister move into her dorm, but I’ll return in two weeks. I’d invite you to come along with me, but in your condition…”

Yuji nodded. “Of course.”

“Please don’t die while I’m away.”

“I won’t. Do you want to know a secret?” he asked.

“Always from you.”

“Go to the window and look by the koi pond,” he said.

I obeyed. Yuji’s gray cat was sitting next to a black cat on the bench. The gray cat licked the black cat’s cheek. “Oh! They’re in love, aren’t they? How do you think they met?”

“There’s a farm not so far down the road from here. I suppose he might be from there.”

“Or maybe he’s a city cat,” I said. “Come to the country for the girl of his dreams.”

“I like your way better.” He was smiling to himself.

He patted the spot next to him in bed, and I lay down beside him.

“How do you feel?” He hated the question, but I wanted to know.

“I feel happy that I have been able to push Ono Sweets into the new era. It’s 2086, Anya. We must be ready for the twenty-second century.”

“How is your heart?” I specified.

“It beats. For now, it beats.” I lay my hand on his chest, and he flinched slightly. “Am I hurting you?”

“It’s fine.” He inhaled. “No, it’s good. The only people who touch me are doctors so I appreciate the change.”

“Tell me a story about my father,” I said.

Yuji thought for a moment before he spoke. “When I was introduced to him, it was not long after the kidnapping. I was wary of strangers. I think I have told you this before.”

“Tell me again.”

“He was an enormous man, and I was terrified of him. He got down on his knees and held his palm faceup the way you would when approaching a timid animal. ‘I hear you have an interesting battle wound, young man. Would you like to show it to me?’ he asked. I was embarrassed to be missing a finger, but I held out my hand to him anyway. He looked at it for the longest time. ‘That is a scar to be proud of,’ he said.”

Yuji held out his hand to me, and I kissed it in the broken place. Years earlier, my father’s hand had touched that hand, too.

“I am glad I will always be your first husband,” he said.

“And last,” I said. “I don’t think I am built for marriage or for love.”

“I’m not certain you are right. You’re still so young, and life is usually long.”

He fell asleep shortly after that. His breathing was labored, and beneath my hand, his heartbeat was so weak that I could barely make it out.

* * *

When I awoke the next day, the bed was soaking wet. So as not to embarrass Yuji, I tried to slip away without him seeing me. He awoke shivering and sat straight up.

“Sumimasen,” he said, bowing his head. He rarely spoke in Japanese to me.

“It’s fine.” I looked him in the eye. I remembered that Nana had always hated when people didn’t look her in the eye.

On the sheets, the urine was spotted with blood.

“Anya, please go.”

“I want to help you,” I said.

“This has no dignity. Please leave.”

But I did not leave.

His eyes were wide and panicked. “Please leave. I don’t want you here.”

“Yuji, you are my husband.”

“It is only a business arrangement.”

“You are my friend, then.”

“You do not have to do anything for me. I do not expect this kind of service from you.” He shook his head.

I went over to him. “This is nothing to be ashamed of,” I said. “This is just life.” I helped him out of bed and to the bathroom, where I drew him a bath. I barely felt his weight.

“Please leave me,” he whimpered.

“I won’t,” I said. “Not because of our arrangement, but because of everything you’ve done for me. You saved my brother’s life. You smuggled me out of the country. You told a silly teenage girl to demand more of herself. Even now, you offer me everything you have. Helping you when you are sick hardly makes us even.”

He bowed his head.

I helped him out of his damp clothes and into the bath. I ran hot water over a tough, natural sponge and washed his back. He closed his eyes.

“Many months ago, I was even sicker than I am now. The pain was worse. They were still trying to cure me then, but I knew it was hopeless,” he said. “I asked Kazuo to kill me. I handed him my father’s samurai sword. I said, ‘You must cut off my head so that I can die with some honor.’ Tears in his eyes, he refused. He said, ‘You have time. I will not steal that time from you. Use your time, Ono-san.’ He was right. I began to think of what I wanted to do with the end of my days. Yours was the face that kept coming back to me. And so when I was well enough, I went to America to see if I could convince you to marry me. I was not sure that you would.”