In Your Dreams (Blue Heron #4)(61)

“No. Not okay.”

“You don’t want a relationship right now. You have stuff. And things.”

“Don’t we all have stuff and things?”

“Yes, we do. But you never asked me out before. You’re only here because I was desperate, and you wanted to get away from Manningsport. Also, you’re invested in your ex-wife.”

“You really know everything, don’t you?”

“Am I wrong?”

At that moment, his phone chimed.

“Bet that’s her,” Em said. “How many times has she texted or called you this weekend?”

His face hardened. “A few.”

“A few? More than a dozen?”

He didn’t answer. So it was way more than a dozen.

“Let me see your phone,” Em said.

“No.”

“Chicken.”

“Fine.” He handed it over, and Em took it.

“What a surprise,” she said. “It is from Hadley. ‘Just taking a bubble bath, drinking Blue Heron wine, missing you. The bubbles are sliding down my—”

He grabbed the phone back. “Point taken,” he said. “She’s a little...intense.”

“Is that code for crazy?”

“Maybe I like crazy,” he answered, reaching out and taking something from her hair. A Skittle.

“Then get back together with her.”

“That will never happen. She was mean to my cat.”

“Look. We should go. Thanks for the shag. I really do appreciate your...attention.”

He looked at her a minute longer, his eyes beautiful and unreadable, and just as she was about to apologize and maybe ask to start over, he said, “Yeah, you’re probably right,” and went into his room, closing the door behind him.

It was for the best.

She wondered if he slept with all the women who asked him to weddings and reunions, then squelched the thought. That wasn’t fair. Also, if it was true, so what? He was single; he was straight. Women threw themselves at him. If he caught them, as he’d caught her last night, who could blame him?

Part of the Bitter Betrayeds’ speculation on Jack Holland was that he’d married Hadley because he wanted someone different. He’d never been serious with anyone local, and it hadn’t gone unnoticed. His wife had been different, all right—as out of place, beautiful and useless as a butterfly in a February snowstorm.

But he had loved her. Em had seen them together. She knew what love looked like.

Em hurled her toothbrush into the suitcase.

Theoretically, she wanted to find someone. She definitely didn’t want to be a Bitter Betrayed forever. And sure, this wedding had brought up stuff. And things. Maybe she wasn’t ready for a relationship. Maybe she needed more time to get over the guy she’d loved for half her life.

Maybe, too, she was just chicken.

Couldn’t get your heart broken if you didn’t fall in love.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

FIVE DAYS AFTER they got back from sunny California, Jack was sitting in the hospital parking lot once again. Twice, he’d gone into the lobby. He thought about what he would say to the Deiners. Debated over bribing a nurse. Jeremy Lyon was the Deiners’ family doctor, and he’d once been engaged to Faith... Surely that meant he owed Jack a little insider information, right?

Okay, not that.

If he could just see Josh, then...then...then what? He could apologize? Did he really think Josh would wake up from his coma and say, “Hey, thanks for pulling me out! You’re the best! No worries, man—I’m doing great!”

Jack sighed, his breath fogging the windshield.

It was as if Malibu had never happened. There was a foot of snow on the ground, it was fourteen degrees out, Josh Deiner was neither better nor worse and his family had just filed a lawsuit against Jack, saying that as an EMT, Jack should’ve recognized that Josh’s needs were greater than the other boys’. They were also suing the town for not having a better guardrail in place and for not having a faster response time to the 911 call.

Not that they could win, Jack’s lawyer had assured him. Josh had been doing sixty-four miles an hour in a thirty-five-mile-an-hour zone. Without Jack, the kid would certainly have died. No, this was just a grieving family lashing out in whatever direction they could.

Unfortunately, it did cause a collective gasp among the good people of Manningsport, and, once more, Jack was the topic of conversation. It was enough to make Jack wish Prudence and Carl would get caught for public indecency again.

And then there was Hadley.

Jack had glimpsed her the first night he’d been home. He’d been driving back from the hospital again and had to stop at the intersection on the green, where an ice-carving demonstration was taking place. Several dozen people stood bundled up in parkas and boots, watching Carlos Mendez carve a wolf out of a massive chunk of ice. Jack caught a glimpse of some of his family, and for a second thought about joining them.

But there were Sam Miller’s parents, and rather than have them hug him and choke up with gratitude once again, he stayed in his truck.

Then he saw Hadley. She had a bag of groceries in her arms, and she was standing on the street, just outside the crowd. A few people streamed past her, and there was such a look of yearning on her face, such loneliness, that Jack almost called out to her.