In Your Dreams (Blue Heron #4)(32)

Not yet.

As Kevin lost weight, food became more seductive than ever to Emmaline. It was all she could think about. Time became measured in the hours until she could eat. She fell asleep thinking about food, and as soon as she was done with one meal, she started imagining the next.

While once she’d brought a yogurt and an apple for lunch, she now started eating a huge meal at work. Philly cheesesteaks and burgers and nachos, clam chowder and the Scrammy Hammy at Big Boy. She craved cherry pie, a Michigan specialty.

One day, she came home from work to find Kevin there, a rarity since he’d discovered the gym. “Hi, babe!” she said happily, dropping her bag on the floor.

“Hey, gorgeous,” he said, hugging her close, and for a second, she felt such a surge of love and longing it nearly made her stagger. She hugged him back, noting that her hands could now touch. He really was melting away.

Suddenly, Kevin stepped back. “Are you trying to kill me?” he said.

“What?”

“You! You smell like...yes! You went to Ray’s Red Hots today, didn’t you?”

He made it sound as if she’d just kicked a baby panda in the stomach. “Guilty, Your Honor.”

“It’s not funny, Emmaline,” he said, sounding like a sulky kindergartener. “You reek of Diablo Dogs.”

“Well, I had two, Kevin. Okay? Sue me.” The hot dog stand was an icon in Ann Arbor, and, back in the good old days, she and Kevin had stopped there often.

He glared at her, then grabbed his gym bag and left.

“Oh, for crying out loud, Kevin!” she yelled down the stairs. “I’m not on a diet! You are! I think I’m allowed to go out for lunch.”

He didn’t come home that night.

First time ever.

She didn’t want to speculate about where he might be.

Instead, she went to the store and bought a pint of Ben & Jerry’s and ate the entire thing. Peanut Brittle. It was flippin’ delicious.

When Kevin came back the next night, they made up. Sort of.

By March, he’d lost seventy-seven pounds, and Emmaline noticed something one night as he dozed in the chair, exhausted from the fresh gym hell Naomi had invented for him.

Kevin was gorgeous.

Oh, she’d always thought he was good-looking. But now his face was emerging from the chubbiness of jowls and chins. He had beautiful cheekbones and a square jaw. His eyes, now closed, seemed bigger, his lashes a dark smudge on his cheeks.

If only she liked him the way she used to.

It had been a long time since they’d had fun. Or sex. Or fun sex. It’s just a stage, her conscience told her. He’s still your Kevin.

Except he wasn’t.

Once, Kevin had been easygoing, funny, mellow and kind. These days, he was vain, obsessive and...mean. There was no other word for it.

He hated fat people. Stared in disgust. Clucked in disapproval. He also hated people who got gastric bypass. “Cheater,” he said one night when they were watching the news about a person who’d lost three hundred pounds. “He’ll gain it back. Health is like marriage. You can’t cheat on it and expect it to work.” One of Naomi’s quotes.

“Speaking of marriage, hon,” she began, but the phone rang, and it was Naomi, who was also watching the “cheater” on TV.

One day, when they were standing in line to get into a concert at the university, he saw a chubby little boy, about eight or nine years old. “You don’t have to be this way,” he said. “I was fat once, too.”

“Kevin!” she admonished. “Stop it!”

“You’re not doing him any favors, letting him eat junk,” he said to the boy’s mother, who gave him the finger.

“Honey, you can’t be so judgmental,” she told him later. “I know you just want to help, but that was mean.”

“What’s mean is his mother setting him up for diabetes,” he said.

He had a point. But his point wasn’t backed by kindness.

When Naomi gave him the green light to eat out in public, Emmaline almost cried with relief. Finally, she thought, they’d return to their regular lives. Sure, they were eating a lot healthier (except for her secret lunch binges). But not eating out or going to friends’ houses for dinner...it was hard! Finally, she thought, they could be normal. Go out for dinner, see a movie. Talk.

That night, Em was thrilled. Wore a dress, did her makeup with care, left her hair down because Kevin liked it that way. The restaurant was French and romantic, candles flickering, their server soft-spoken and attractive.

“Would mademoiselle care for a drink?” he asked.

“I’ll have a glass of pinot noir,” she said. Kevin glanced at her, and she hoped he’d order one, too. He was edgy, poor thing, in a restaurant for the first time in months and months.

“And you, monsieur?”

From the table behind her, someone cleared her throat. Twice. Three times. Emmaline turned around and looked.

It was Naomi, her glittering eyes fixed on Kevin.

“Ice water,” Kevin said tersely. “And don’t bring any bread.”

“Please,” Emmaline added. She looked back at Naomi. “Hi. Want to join us?”

“You passed your first test, Kev,” Naomi said, ignoring her. “You’re doing great. What do you see on the menu that you can have?”