If The Seas Catch Fire(73)
Maybe this is a sign that we should be saying goodbye.
Not the same kind of goodbye he’d had to say to his mother, but the kind he needed to be saying unless he wanted Sergei caught in a crossfire he had nothing to do with.
Take a hint, Dom. If you don’t want him to get hurt, stay the hell away from him.
But… not now. Not until he’s okay.
Dom squeezed Sergei’s hand. “That harbor is dangerous, you know. For divers.”
“So I’ve heard.”
“I’m serious. The Coast Guard’s busted a f*ckload of divers who were transporting narcotics.”
“They can’t bust me if I don’t have anything on me.”
“They can still harass you.” Dom paused. “Hell, Rojas even wondered if you might’ve been one of the drug mules.”
“He thinks I’m a drug mule?”
Dom squeezed Sergei’s arm. “It… crossed his mind.”
Sergei laughed, his eyelids sliding shut. “A drug mule. That’s funny.”
“Is it? Why?”
“Dunno.” Sergei licked his lips. “Just is.”
Dom watched him for a moment. “So, why were you out… today?”
“Why not? Did you see the water out there?” Sergei shrugged, but winced, and rubbed his shoulder gingerly. “It was a perfect day for it.”
“Any idea how you got the bends?”
Sergei held his gaze, eyes narrowed just slightly. “It’s always a risk when you’re diving.”
“You said you came up too fast.”
“Yeah. Should’ve done some more decompression stops, but…” He swore softly and shook his head.
“Why, though?”
“I had a malfunctioning valve on my tank. Thought coming up too fast was better than staying down too long.”
“Oh.”
“Why?” Sergei lifted his eyebrows. “Do you think I was moving drugs—”
“No. No.” Dom sighed. “I’m sorry. Just… there was some shit out on the water today, and I…” He swallowed. “I’m just glad you weren’t tangled up in it.”
Sergei was quiet for a moment. He looked down at their hands, and his thumb ran alongside Dom’s. “I’m sorry. You came here tonight for something a lot more enjoyable than—”
“I came to see you.”
“Not like this.”
“I’m not complaining.”
“I am.” Sergei shifted. “This is bullshit.”
“Trust me. I’d rather be here than…” Dom trailed off, not sure how to fill in the rest of that thought without tipping his hand too far. Finally, he shook his head. “Anyway. I’ll stay as long as you need me to. God knows you’ve been there for me lately.”
Sergei studied him. “All I’ve done is sleep with you.”
“You’d be amazed how much I need that.” Dom gazed at their hands. “Being with another man like this, it’s…” He sighed. “I guess I feel like I have to get it as far out of my system as I can.”
“It doesn’t work that way, you know.” Sergei drew slow arcs along Dom’s hand with his thumbnail. “The more you have, the more you want.”
“I know. But I’d rather experience it than get married and spend the rest of my life wishing I’d spent more time with a man.”
Sergei gently freed his hand and pulled the oxygen mask down.
“You need to keep that on,” Dom said. “The doctor—”
“I know what he said.” Sergei moistened his lips and took Dom’s hand again. “Listen, we both know what happens if the people in your world find out about this. And all you’re doing is torturing yourself. Or guaranteeing yourself a lot of torture in the future when you can’t have this anymore.”
Dom nodded. “Yeah, I know. And maybe I’ll regret it later, but I’m not ready to walk away from it yet.”
Sergei held his gaze. “Can I ask something kind of personal?”
“If you put that mask back on, yes.”
Sergei laughed. He pushed the mask over his mouth and nose again, and as he took Dom’s hand, said, “Happy?”
“Yes.”
“So, I’m curious…” Sergei paused. “We both know what you are. I’ve known since the night you got beat up outside my club.”
Dom shuddered at the memory.
“Why?” Sergei asked.
“Why what? Why did they kick my—”
“Why do you do it?” Sergei’s brow furrowed. “Is it… I mean, I get that you’re in it because of your family, but how do you do it? How do you live with…?”
Dom let out a long breath and stared at their loosely entwined fingers. “It’s the only life I’ve ever known.”
“That wasn’t my question.”
Dom wanted to say it was the only answer he could give, but that was bullshit, and he swore Sergei’s piercing blue eyes saw right through him anyway. Why lie? Hell, there was probably no one on the planet he could be honest with about this, and with time running out, there was no point in wasting the opportunity.