I Only Have Eyes for You (The Sullivans #4)(60)

Never share.

Never trust.

Never give anyone another chance to say you’re nothing but a whore and a drunk’s stupid kid.

But this time, Jake knew, everything was different...because he couldn’t stop himself from loving Sophie. And he’d never wanted anything more than for her to love him back.

Which meant he would have to tell her soon, have to warn her that their children might not be able to do the one thing that came so easily to her.

Moving restlessly in the chair, his eyes caught on the book sitting on her dresser nearby. What To Expect When You’re Expecting.

Reading it tonight would be torture, but that fact wasn’t going to change. There would always be too many words, and he’d always have to work like hell to try to get them to make sense in his head.

But if anything was worth the pain and suffering of making his way through an entire book, it was Sophie...and the children they’d have in the fall.

Picking up the book, Jake used every trick to keep his brain focused from one word, one sentence, one paragraph to the next. As the minutes turned into hours and he turned the pages one after the other—and the endless warnings and risks of pregnancy rained down upon him—Jake actually found himself wishing he was that ten-year-old kid again, who couldn’t read at all.

Chapter Twenty-two

Sophie had slept the night through, but she didn’t feel rested. Her eyes felt gritty, her mouth dry. She knew the reason. Jake hadn’t slept with her, hadn’t wrapped his big, warm body around hers and held her close. Even in her sleep, she would have known if he’d been there.

But he had never come to join her in the bed.

Where, she wondered, had he gone? Back to his house to rethink the love he’d offered her the night before?

She was so lost in her dark musings that she almost didn’t notice Jake sitting in the corner of her bedroom. She sat up in bed so quickly that everything spun for a few moments. “You’re still here?” Her throat sounded as raw as it felt.

“I’ve been here all night.”

He was wearing his jeans from the night before and his hair was standing up on end as if he’d been pulling at it. He looked tense, horribly so.

Despite the fact that she felt like she was coming down with the flu, she pushed aside the covers and was about to get on her feet to head across the room to him when he said, “Have you had coffee since you’ve been pregnant?”

She frowned at the strange question. “Yes.”

His mouth tightened. “Have you been around cats?”

Why was he treating her like this? Like she was a defendant on the witness stand. One who had done everything wrong.

“Yes.”

“What about heating blankets or hot tubs? Have you used either of those?”

Obviously, his random questions must be related. But to what?

“Why are you asking me these things?” Everything was hurting now, worse than it had before. She leaned back into the headboard, pulling a pillow up over her lap to hold on to.

He lifted something off his lap. It was the What To Expect When You’re Expecting book. “I just spent the entire night reading this.”

Oh no. The doctor had warned them about the book, but Sophie hadn’t thought much of it. Now she saw she should have known Jake would do this, that he was so protective of her—and the twins she was carrying—that he’d let all of the book's warnings spiral completely out of proportion.

But before she could say anything to calm him, he was up out of the chair, holding the book open. “You’re getting a new doctor. I can’t believe she told us sex is fine. Right here it says twins need tons of extra care when you’re pregnant.”

“Jake,” she said in what she hoped was a patient but not condescending voice, “my mother had eight kids. Everything’s been going great so far with my pregnancy. That’s all worst-case scenario stuff. I know what to be careful about.”

“Then what about this? Deep penetration can cause bleeding. If you knew that already then why the hell have you let me keep taking you like an animal? I couldn’t have been in any deeper last night. Or in the pool.”

She tried not to lose her temper again. “Show me where it says that.” He only wanted what was best for her, she tried to remind herself, but he looked bigger, tougher than ever as he got up off the chair and held the book open in front of her.

But when she read the passage he was referring to, she was too tired to keep her irritation with him at bay. “Occasionally. It says deep penetration can occasionally cause bleeding and not to worry about it unless it happens! Can’t you even read? Or do you just make up words to suit your bossy purposes?”

A wave of nausea mixed in with her frustration, but even as she worked to ride out this horrible new onset of morning sickness, she could feel the air in her bedroom cool by a good dozen degrees.

In all the years she’d known Jake, she’d never seen him look like this—so cold, so distant.

“Funny, here I was working out a way to tell you,” he said in a hard voice, “but you’ve already figured it out.”

She could hardly breathe with him looking at her like that. “What are you talking about?”

“I can barely read!” he growled. “That’s what I’m talking about.”

Her brain raced as she tried to make sense of what he was saying. Jake McCann had always had her heart, from the first moment she’d seen him playing football in the backyard with her brothers. He’d been larger than life, even with that dark shadow following him, calling to her to clear it away with sunshine. With love. But until this week when he’d insisted they spend time together, she hadn’t known just how hard his childhood had been, or the details of how he’d built his amazingly successful business from scratch.