Hunted (House of Night #5)(91)

"Because you can't keep your hands off me?"

"Oh, please. I'm managing to keep my hands off you just fine. I'm not one of your pod girls." "Pod girls?"

"You know, from Invasion of the Body Snatchers. That's how I think of the girls you bite and mess with their minds so that they're all `Oooh, that Stark, he's just so hot! Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod!' It's seriously annoying. And, by the way, if you ever try any of that crap with me, I promise you I will call all of the five elements and we will kick your butt. Count on it."

"I wouldn't try to do that to you, but that's not saying I wouldn't like to taste you. I totally would." His voice had gone all sexy again, and he started to step closer to me.

"No! I'm serious about you staying over there."

"Okay! Okay! What's got your pan ties in such a bunch?"

I narrowed my eyes at him. "My pan ties are not in a bunch. All hell happens to be breaking loose around us, in case you hadn't noticed. The House of Night is under the control of something that's prC> T'e aobably a demon. Neferet has turned into something that's probably a lot worse than a demon. My friends and I are not safe. I have no idea how to do what I need to do to begin to make this mess right, and to top it all off I'm falling for a guy who's been with a crapload of the girls on campus and used mind control on them."

"You're falling for me?"

"Yeah, great, isn't it? I already have a vampyre boyfriend and a human guy I've Imprinted. As my grandma would say, my dance card is more than full."

"I can take care of the vamp boyfriend." Automatically Stark's hand came up to stroke the bow that was strapped to his back.

"Hell no, you won't take care of him!" I yelled. "Get this through your head: That bow is not the fix-it answer to your problems. It should be your very last resort and should never, ever be used against another person, human or vampyre. You used to know that."

His face hardened. "You know what happened to me. I'm not going to apologize for what's become my nature."

"Your nature? Do you mean your spoiled-brat nature, or your slut nature?"

"I mean me!" He pounded his fist against his chest. "It's what I am now."

"Okay, you need to hear me once and for all, because I'm not going to keep repeating this. Get a damn clue! We all have bad things inside us, and we all choose either to give in to those bad things or to fight them."

"That's not the same thing as--"

"Shut up and listen to me!" My anger exploded around us. "It's not the same thing for any of us. For some people the only thing they have to struggle with is whether they sleep in and miss first hour or get their butts up and go to school. For other people it's harder stuff--like whether or not to go into rehab and stay clean or to just give up and keep using. For you maybe it's even harder--like whether to fight for your humanity or to give in to the darkness and be a monster. But it's still a choice. Your choice."

We stood there staring at each other. I didn't know what else to say. I couldn't make the choice to do the right thing for him, and I suddenly understood that I wouldn't keep sneaking around and seeing him. If he couldn't be the kind of guy I was proud to be with in public, the act he put on for me in private didn't mean anything. And that was something he needed to know.

"What happened last night won't happen again. Not like that." The anger drained out of me and my voice calmed down. I sounded quiet and sad in the stillness of the little room.

"How can you say that when you just told me you were falling for me?" "Stark, what I'm telling you is that I'm not going be with you if I have to hide the fact that we're together."

"Because of that vamp boyfriend?"

"Because of you. Erik does affect us. I care about him. Th Tzy& ^e last thing I want to do is hurt him, but it would be stupid of me to stay with him and wish I was with you, or anybody else, including the human guy I've Imprinted. So you need to understand Erik couldn't stop me from being with you."

"You really do have feelings for me, don't you?"

"I do, but I can promise you I won't be your girlfriend if I'm ashamed to be with you in front of my friends. You can't be wrong around everyone else and right around me. What you really are is how you act most of the time. I see that there's still good in you, but that good will eventually be blotted out by the darkness that's there, too, and I'm not going to hang around to see that happen."

He looked away from me. "I knew that was how you felt before, but I didn't think it would bother me so much to hear you say it. I don't know if I can make the right choice. When I'm with you, I feel like I can. You're so strong, and you're good."

I blew out a big sigh. "I'm not that darn good. I've messed up a lot. Sadly, I'll probably keep messing up. A lot. And you were the strong one last night, not me."

He met my eyes again. "You are good. I can feel it. You're good down deep in your heart, where it counts."

"I hope I am. I try to be."

"Then do this for me, please." He closed the few feet between us before I could stop him again. At first he didn't touch me. He just kept staring into my eyes. "You haven't completed the Change yet, but even the Sons of Erebus call you Priestess." Then he dropped to one knee, and looking up at me, he fisted his right hand over his heart.