Hold on Tight (Sea Breeze #8)(35)

I couldn’t do this shit. She was Micah’s mom. She wasn’t someone I could f**k for fun and walk away from. And after today I wasn’t sure I could f**k her and walk away from her. Hell, not tasting her mouth again was going to kill me. No wonder my brother had knocked her up. Fuck! I wouldn’t have been able to keep my wits about me when I was between her legs either. Damn woman could make any man lose his mind.

Dustin would want Sienna happy and taken care of. He would want her to have the life she deserved. Not one with his loser older brother, who had made more f**king mistakes than the average person. Hell, I’d bruised her arm. How the f**k did someone hurt Sienna? I wasn’t drinking ever again. I was done. If that was the kind of shit I did, I wasn’t touching alcohol. Sienna and Micah were going to turn me into the damn Pope.

Micah deserved a man in his life he could look up to. I would be the uncle who doted on him and made him feel loved, but I wasn’t really much to look up to. I wasn’t that guy. I never was and never would be good enough for Sienna Roy and my nephew. She needed a man who could be with just her. Who didn’t need easy, no-strings f**ks. And Micah needed a stable uncle. One who was a good role model. One who didn’t f**king hurt his momma. Motherf*cker! I wanted to beat my own ass. Sienna’s bruised arm turned my stomach. I’d done that to her. I was the worthless piece of shit I knew wasn’t worthy enough to kiss those sweet lips of hers.

Then I’d kissed her. What the hell! What kind of message did that send? Not a good one. Surely she knew I wasn’t for her. I wasn’t for anyone. I would have to talk to Sienna and apologize. She needed to understand that I couldn’t be what she needed. I wasn’t that guy. I would be there for them, I would be her friend, I would take care of them—but that was all I was good for. Nothing more.

A knock on my window startled me, and I turned to see Marcus Hardy frowning at me. I had parked in the lot of my apartment building, but I hadn’t gotten out. I opened the door and stepped out of the truck.

“What was that about?” Marcus asked.

“What?” I asked, trying to blow off whatever it was he’d seen.

Marcus cocked an eyebrow at me. “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe the snarling and cursing and hitting your steering wheel.”

Shit. He’d been there a while.

“Nothing,” I replied, and started walking to my apartment. I knew Marcus would follow me.

“Preston said Sienna Roy was back and she has a kid.”

Shit. Preston gossiped like a damn woman.

I nodded and pulled out my keys to unlock my apartment door.

“Kid’s Dustin’s, then?” Marcus said, walking into my apartment behind me. Marcus would have this conversation by himself until I spoke up. He wouldn’t leave. That wasn’t Marcus. He was persistent.

“Yeah. Micah’s my nephew.”

Marcus nodded and went and made himself comfortable on the couch.

“She giving you a hard time? If I remember right, you sure had a lot of interest in her back in the day. You got sent to alternative school for a month after beating the shit out of that guy who had cornered her in the hallway and was touching her while she tried to push him away. Broke the kid’s nose.”

Alternative school had sucked. It was for the thugs who screwed up so bad they took them out of the regular school and sent them to something like a boot camp. Luckily, there had been witnesses who vouched that the guy was touching Sienna inappropriately and that he’d taken two swings at me. One had actually given me a black eye, so it hadn’t all been completely my fault. He’d done alternative school with a busted nose.

“She was a kid. She needed someone to take care of her. Too damn pretty for her own good.”

Marcus let out a small laugh. “She was more than pretty, from what I remember, but she was Dustin’s. Or so you always said. Although Dustin chose to ignore her for weeks until he finally saw just how much attention she was getting.”

“Don’t,” I warned him. He knew I didn’t let anyone talk bad about my brother. Ever. He’d been a kid and he’d made some bad decisions, but he’d had a good heart. And he’d been destined to be great.

Marcus sighed. “I loved Dustin. You know that. I wasn’t talking bad about him. I’d never do that.”

“I know,” I replied. I was just being defensive because I’d almost f**ked Sienna and all I could think about was going back and tasting her again.

“Sienna letting you get to know Micah?”

I nodded. She was being more than awesome about that. Letting him stay the night at my parents’ had made my mother’s year. Momma had called to tell me everything they did and everything Micah said. She adored that kid, and she adored his mother.

Another reason I had to stay away from Sienna. I couldn’t upset my mother. My dad would likely beat my ass. And I’d let him.

“You got feelings for her?” Marcus asked me.

I looked over at him and decided that l wasn’t sure how to answer that. I had feelings for her because she was the mother of my nephew. I had feelings for her because she was a part of Dustin, part of a memory. But there was something else there. Something that had always been there and I’d always pushed away because of Dustin. Something that scared me because I needed to stop it now.

“She’s Micah’s mother. I care about her and her safety.”