Hold On (The 'Burg #6)(36)

“Jesus, Merry,” Tanner murmured.

“Now,” Garrett kept on, crossing his arms on his chest, “not lost on anyone in this ’burg, especially the ones with a vagina, any woman who gets my attention after Mia made the finality of our final obvious by accepting another man’s ring, that woman would be a rebound. And straight up, that’s what I thought had happened with Cher the morning after. I needed to let go and she gave me that opportunity. Then I found she had a situation, and my reaction to that bore contemplation. I contemplated.”

“And you wanna explore,” Tanner surmised.

“I did. She doesn’t. She’s certain she’s a rebound f*ck, and she’s certain of a lotta other things she was tryin’ to convince me about in a way I knew I had my work cut out for me. One thing I knew, the way things are with me and the way she just f*ckin’ is, I could make no promises I couldn’t keep. Not for her, so she didn’t get in too deep. Not for her kid, who she isn’t gonna drag into another situation that might go south. The last man she let in, turned out he was as bad as it gets. She doesn’t need another man to make promises and shit all over her. But in all that, I’d made a promise. One promise. I broke it for a reason. Now she really doesn’t wanna explore.”

“I had no idea about any of this shit, brother, or my brief with Ryker would have gone different,” Tanner told him. “I didn’t expect he’d say shit anyway, but you know I wouldn’t lay you out like that if I knew where your head was at with Cher.”

Garrett drew a breath in through his nose and looked out the window.

“You really over Mia?” Tanner asked quietly.

Garrett turned his gaze back to him. “It’s an uncomfortable feeling, kickin’ your own ass for years, knowin’ you let go the only woman you loved and knowin’ you should’ve pulled out all the stops to get her back, then switchin’ that on a dime to kickin’ your own ass when you realize she wasn’t worth that emotion.”

“Yeah, I get that. That’s a major shift, Merry. And, not tellin’ you somethin’ you don’t know but gonna say it anyway ’cause it’s important, you gotta know you made that shift before you explore dick with Cher Rivers.”

Garrett locked eyes with his friend. “Happily stand at the town limits and wave the woman on her way to Bloomington. I’m dead serious about that. Our end did not happen Friday night. Our end happened five years ago. I drew out the grief of that, with her stringin’ me along in ways I never shared because that was mine and hers. Seein’ it through different eyes now, though, it wasn’t mine and hers. It was hers, and it was shit.”

“Stringin’ you along?” Tanner asked.

“Mia likes games. Blinded by my feelings for her, never saw it for what it was, but she likes games,” Garrett told him and watched Tanner’s jaw go hard.

He wasn’t a big fan of secrets between family or friends, but on this, he had to suck it up. Until Garrett wanted to make info like this Tanner’s business, it wasn’t.

Which meant only now, sharing this info about Mia was his business.

“Since Friday, had time to think about it,” Garrett went on. “And what I think is that I held on to what I had with her so I wouldn’t be open to what I could have with someone who didn’t get off on yankin’ my chain.”

“Yankin’ your chain?” Tanner prompted.

“We’re not talkin’ about Mia now,” Garrett told him. “Time I gave her is done.”

“Okay, brother. I hear you,” Tanner muttered, then he asked, “You think you’re where you need to be now?”

Garrett shook his head. “No clue. I just know I’m not where I used to be.”

Tanner nodded. “Then you know—you of all people know, Garrett—from what didn’t go down with Mia that turned out right to what you encouraged to go down with me and your sister, you know the way it is. And you know you gotta do one thing.” He hesitated, drew in breath, and finished, “Proceed.”

Garrett had given Tanner that same advice, and the road was bumpy, but the results were worth it.

Fuck.

The anger slid out of him, but it left frustration behind.

“Ryker made a difficult job a lot harder today, big man,” Garrett pointed out.

“Dig deep and decide if it’s worth the effort, Garrett. You make the decision—cut her loose or make that effort. Only you can decide,” Tanner replied, then shook his head. “That last isn’t true. She’s a good woman. It’s worth the effort. You wouldn’t charge in here, pissed as shit, if you didn’t know it. You just gotta know, for her sake and for her kid’s, that your shit’s together before you go for it.”

Garrett drew in another breath, dropped his arms, and lifted his chin.

His message relayed about Ryker, with no reason to be pissed other than being pissed at himself, a ton of work on his desk, and a new problem with Cher to sort, he had no purpose being there.

“Gotta get back to the station,” he muttered.

“On your walk, think about how Cher had occasion to have a chat with Ryker.”

Garrett’s attention turned acute on Tanner.

It came to him and he whispered, “Fuck.”

Tanner laid out the realization that belatedly hit him.