Hold On (The 'Burg #6)(30)

He finally spoke, and when he did, it came gentle.

“Consider this, sweetheart. Maybe, this bitch has claws, and she’s got more time to sink them into Ethan, that’s not a good idea.”

This was a concern.

But it was my concern, not Merry’s.

“I still think that’s my first step, talking to Ethan.”

“I hear you. And maybe you’re right. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do what you can to know what you’re sendin’ him into and if that’s healthy or if it’s not. Bottom line, your ex is a junkie. He’s recovering, but that’s still gotta give you pause. I know from the way you reacted that woman freaks you out, and she does that for a reason. Just find out what you’re dealin’ with before you make a deal with them that involves your boy.”

“Okay, then, maybe I’ll talk to Tanner about doing some legwork.”

“Tanner’s expensive.”

This was true.

This was also my concern, not Merry’s.

“Merry—”

“I’m on this.”

“I don’t want you to be on this.”

“You didn’t want me to put your storm windows in either, but they’re in. I’ll also point out that you spent your mornin’ lookin’ into the program your kid’s stepmom is neck-deep in, not puttin’ those windows in. I get you know how to go it alone, Cher. In this, you’re just not going to.”

“That’s my call.”

“Sorry you think that way, brown eyes, but the call’s been made and it’s not yours at all.”

Shit, I was getting pissed.

“This is why we need to talk face-to-face, so I can explain to you I don’t want you in my shit.”

“You already did that face-to-face, and right now you’re doin’ it over the phone. But, babe, it needs to sink in we don’t agree. I’m in. With your work schedule, mine, and the fact you need to spend time with your kid, we get face-to-face time, we’ll be face-to-face with you on your back and me movin’ inside you.”

Shit. Now I was getting turned on.

“You had a window you could slide in there, gorgeous. You timed it right. Now Cher’s closed for business.”

So much humor was back, his reply of “Right” was shaking.

That meant I was no longer pissed or turned on.

I was angry.

“If you think with the life I lead I need some badass cop playin’ games with me, you are very wrong,” I told him bitingly.

He didn’t miss a beat, returning, “Cher, with your life and the dry spell you endured, you need a lot of things and you’re gettin’ them all from me.”

Of course, Lieutenant Garrett Merrick of the ’burg’s PD didn’t miss my dry spell.

Fuck.

“That shit’s exactly what I’m talkin’ about, Merry. I’ve been down a road where it wasn’t my choice to be on. You think for a second I’m gonna be forced down a road I don’t like where I’m at again, you think wrong. There is nowhere for this to go that’s good and you know it, just like me.”

“The only thing I know is, what’s at the end of the road we’re on is unknown. Along the way, I break through that fortress you’ve built around you and manage to extract your head from your ass, it’ll be worth the trip.”

“And then what, Merry?” I snapped.

“I don’t know, Cher. That’s the point. That’s life. You have no clue what you’ll get along the journey. But you won’t get dick you stay in one place, spinning your wheels.”

“If that place is a safe place for me and my kid, I’m good to spin my wheels for eternity.”

“You may be safe, but are you happy?”

I added a heavy dose of sarcasm when I asked, “You gonna show me happy, Merry, outside of what you can do to me when you’re f*ckin’ me?”

“No one can show you happy, Cher, unless you let them in to try.”

“I open the door, is that what you want?” I asked, sarcasm mixed with disbelief now weighting my tone. “You want a shot at makin’ me happy?”

“What I want is to make sure a woman I care about is solid with her kid. That they’re safe. That the cloud of shit hovering in the horizon is not gonna rain down on them, covering them, because they’ve had enough of that. That’s one thing I want.”

His words meant so much to me, unable to hold my head up, I cast my gaze to the floor.

Merry continued talking.

“I also want to know how it feels when you wrap your mouth around my cock. And I want to wake up to you in my bed and look at you sleepin’ to find out if the shit I saw Saturday mornin’ was a dream or if it was real. That bein’, you lookin’ just as pretty as you look after drinkin’ yourself stupid and bein’ rode hard, which is the same as you look when you’re standin’ opposite the bar from me, pourin’ a drink.”

I kept staring at the floor, but I did it now breathing funny.

Merry kept at me.

“That shit is not right. No woman, not even Mia, could go head-to-head with me drinkin’ and f*ckin’ and not wake up with mascara-caked, bloodshot eyes, a lipstick-smeared mouth, and a bedhead that is so far from sexy, it made me wonder why I hit that in the first place. Not you. You opened your eyes and looked ready to perform surgery, shake a martini, or ride my cock until we both found it, all a’ that with a camera crew in tow, ready for your close-up.”