Hidden (House of Night #10)(28)

"Well, Z, you do got you some boy issues," Stevie Rae said lightly, hooking her arm through mine.

"We need to tell Thanatos, also," Aphrodite said as the three of us started to walk toward her classroom. "Her affinity is Death. It makes sense that she understands ghosts or whatever."

"Why don't we just put it in the Tulsa World and have Neferet write a damn Q and A about it?" I said.

"That's almost a cuss word. Watch yourself. Damn is an entry word. Next thing you know, f**k will be flying out of your mouth," Aphrodite said.

"Flying f**k? That just sounds wrong," Stevie Rae told her, shaking her head.

I picked up the pace, practically dragging Stevie Rae along with me and making Aphrodite jog to catch up with us. I didn't listen to them as they argued about cuss words. Instead I worried.

I worried about our school.

I worried about the Aurox/Heath issue.

I worried about telling Stark about the Aurox/Heath issue.

And I worried about my clenching stomach and the possibility of my IBS acting up in the middle of everything. Again.

CHAPTER EIGHT

Shaunee

"Damien, I think I should stay way away from the stables. Lenobia has had a massive overdose of fire lately." Shaunee looked from Damien to Erin. The three of them had moved off with each other when Z had told them to scatter, but instead of actually scattering they hung together, trying to figure out where each of them, with their elements, would do the most good.

"That is a good point," Damien agreed. "It makes more sense for you to go over by Dragon's pyre. You'll be needed there soon."

Shaunee's shoulders slumped. "Yeah, I know, but it's not something I'm looking forward to."

"Just get into your element and it'll be easy," Erin spoke up.

Shaunee blinked at her, not just surprised that she'd spoken-Erin had definitely been avoiding speaking to her since they'd un-Twined-but surprised at her off-handed tone. She was talking about burning Dragon's body as if it were no more than lighting a match. "Nothing about Dragon's funeral will be easy, Erin. With or without my element."

"I didn't mean easy easy." Erin looked annoyed. Shaunee thought that it seemed these days Erin always looked annoyed. "I just meant that when you really get into your element other things don't bother you so much. But maybe you're just not that into your element."

"That's bullshit." Shaunee felt the heat of building anger. "My affinity for fire isn't any less than yours for water."

Erin shrugged. "Whatever. I was just trying to help you out. From now on I'll quit trying." She turned to Damien, who was looking from one to the other of them as if he wasn't sure whether he should jump in between them or run in the opposite direction. "I'm gonna go to the stables. Lenobia will be glad to see water, and I don't have an issue with using my element." Without another word, Erin walked away.

"Has she always been like that?" Shaunee heard herself asking Damien the question that had been circling around in her mind for days.

"You'll have to define that."

"Heartless."

"Honestly?"

"Yeah. Has Erin always been so heartless?"

"That's really difficult for me to answer, Shaunee." Damien was speaking softly, as if he thought he needed to be careful his words didn't bruise her.

"Just tell me the truth, even if it is hard," she said.

"Well, then, honestly until the two of you broke up it was mostly impossible to tell what each of you was like individually. I'd never known one of you without the other. You two finished each other's sentences. It was like you were two halves of a whole."

"But not now?" Shaunee prodded when he hesitated.

"No, now it's different. Now you're individuals with your own personalities." He smiled at her. "The nicest way I can put this is that it's pretty obvious to most of us that your personality is the one with the heart."

Shaunee stared after Erin. "I knew it before, and it bugged me. You know, the way she could be so sarcastic and gossipy and mean. But she could also be so funny and cool to hang out with."

"Funny usually at other people's expense," Damien said. "Cool because she excluded others to make herself seem better than everyone else."

Shaunee met his gaze. "I know. I see it now. Back then all I could see was that we were best friends, and I needed a best friend."

"What about now?" he asked.

"Now I need to be able to like myself, and I can't do that if I'm only one half of a whole person. I'm also tired of always having to say something sarcastic or witty or just downright hateful." She shook her head, feeling sad and really old. "That doesn't mean I think Erin's awful. Actually, I want her to be as cool and funny and great as I used to believe she was. I guess I've just come to realize that she has to either be, or not be, those things on her own. It doesn't have anything to do with me."

"You're smarter than I thought you were," Damien admitted.

"I'm still crap at school."

He smiled. "There are other kinds of smart."

"That's good news for me."

"Hey, don't underestimate yourself. You might actually be good at school if you tried a little."