Hidden Summit (Virgin River #17)(69)

“Leslie!”

She shook her head, though she was not completely unmoved. She couldn’t imagine what he must be thinking and feeling. She couldn’t guess what it might be like to be him right now. Greg wasn’t used to being rejected. “I wish you’d leave so I can enjoy my wine.”

“Is this about him? The man you’ve been seeing?”

“Did I trade you in for a new man? Absolutely not—I was completely faithful while we were married. I didn’t so much as go out for coffee with a man for a year and a half after you left me. Have I found someone worthy now? Oh, yes,” she assured him. “In fact, in about thirty seconds I’m going to go inside and phone around to see if I can find him. I’m going to ask him to hurry up and get you off my porch. Seriously. Because if you have regrets, it’s your own damn fault and I’m not even slightly interested in giving you another chance to hurt me.”

“I would never—”

“Listen to me,” she said. “You don’t even tempt me. For the past few months I’ve been trying to remember what I saw in you in the first place.”

“I can’t believe you’re saying this to me,” he said. “We were so good together!”

“Go. Please, go. Ask Allison to forgive you for being stupid and take good care of her and your child.”

“Leslie, if you think about this—”

She slowly stood and went into the house. She threw the dead bolt and then went around to the back door to be sure it was locked. She took her glass of wine with her to the bedroom and sat on her bed, leaning back on the pillows. Using the cordless phone, she dialed Conner’s cell. It was about eight-thirty on the East Coast. When he answered, she said, “I miss you so much.”

“Not much longer, baby.”

“Are you in the middle of things?”

“I was doing dishes,” he said with a laugh. “Katie’s getting the boys showered and ready for bed. I was going to call you the minute the house got quiet. What I really want is to roll over and grab you and pull you closer. And make you beg…”

“I want that, too.”

“What’s wrong, Les? Something’s wrong.”

“How can you tell?”

“Your voice—it’s in your voice. Tell me. Don’t make me worry.”

“It’s just Greg. I found him on my porch when I got home from work. He’s sorry—how about that? He’d like another chance. He’d like us to try again.”

Conner was quiet for a long beat. “Is that so?” he finally said.

“Have you ever heard anything so absurd?”

“And what do you want, Les?” he asked softly.

“I want to take a shower with you, that’s what I want. I want to roll around in the bed with you. I want to feel your prickly mustache against my neck.” She sighed. “I want to be with you because I understand you, because I’m understood by you. Because I trust you and love you.”

“But he screws up your head,” Conner said.

“I can’t for my life figure out why,” she said. “He has only one agenda. It’s all about him. Why does it even distract me? I’m finished with him.”

“Maybe not quite,” Conner said. “Something is unfinished....”

She thought for a second. “Conner, I’m going to go see my parents this weekend. I’ll drive up early Saturday morning and come back here on Sunday. I’ll have my cell phone with me. It works just fine on the road to Oregon. I’m not going to see Greg, I promise you that.”

“I didn’t ask. Les, if you have to see him, I’m not going to try to talk you out of it. Do what you have to do. I’ve told you before—when we move on together, I don’t want you to have any doubts. I want you to be sure.”

“I am sure, Conner. I love you.”

“But something’s eating at you....”

“And I’m not sure what it is. All I’m completely sure about is that I want to be with you. Only you. I just have this baggage.... How do I dump the baggage?”

“I don’t know him like you know him. I can tell you what I did. I wrote Samantha a letter.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“I did it right before I left,” he said. “I told her I was happy in a way I’d never been happy before and it had nothing to do with her. I wished her well and said I was moving on and hoped she would, too. I didn’t give an address for her to respond to—but I said goodbye in the only way I knew how.”

“I keep saying goodbye to Greg and he just won’t go!” she protested.

“You’ll figure this out. And I’ll be with you soon.”

“I need my mother,” she said. “I’m going to go home, see my mom and get her to help me with this. My mom never liked him to start with! God, I wish she’d have told me and saved me the time!”

“If not for your marriage and divorce, we’d never have met,” he said.

That stopped her. She thought about that for a second. “Isn’t it funny,” she said, “that our biggest blunders can end up being the best thing that ever happened to us.”

When Leslie looked outside again, the shiny Caddy was gone, and she breathed a sigh of relief. Then she walked three doors down to Nora’s house and made her apologies—she had to cancel their Saturday trip into Fortuna together. “I have to take a drive up to Grants Pass to see my mother.”