Hidden Away (KGI #3)(107)

Instead she sat as calmly as she was able and watched him approach.

He wore jeans and a T-shirt. Judging by the irritation of his face and the way he shook his feet at intervals, he’d gotten a buttload of sand in his tennis shoes during the walk from town. Clearly he hadn’t learned anything from his time here.

When he got closer, she saw that he held something in his hand. She forced herself to look away, out over the water as he approached.

He hesitated for a moment and then settled on the step beside her. Just as he’d done weeks before. He piddled with the object in his hand and then extended it until she looked down to see what he held.

A smile quivered on her lips. How could she want to smile when she hurt so damn much on the inside?

“I brought the big guns this time,” he said as he held up the caramel chocolate bar. “No holding out this time.”

He set it on her lap and turned to stare at the water as she’d done.

“I love you, Sarah.”

She sucked in her breath and felt herself come apart all over again. Pain ripped through her heart and left a bloody cut as deep as a wound could go. She went so rigid that she shook. She started to bolt to her feet but his fingers circled her wrist and he tugged until she was forced to remain seated.

“Please,” he begged softly. “Hear me out.”

She couldn’t look at him. Not and maintain her composure. She closed her eyes to keep the tears at bay. She’d shed enough over the last week. Her head still hurt and her sinuses had gone to shit. She wouldn’t cry anymore.

“I know you feel hurt and betrayed.”

“You have no idea how I feel,” she said bitterly.

“I have an idea. If it’s anything close to what I’ve felt since Resnick took you away, I know it’s pretty damn awful.”

She ignored his statement. She fixed her eyes back over the water, determined to get through this even if it killed her.

He sighed. “Let me start from the beginning. I was asked to take this job because Resnick knew I had a personal score to settle with ... your brother. Six years ago, I led a mission to rescue your brother, when he made a deal with the wrong people. In return, he was going to work with the CIA to take down several terrorist networks that he’d supplied arms to.

“We went in and Lattimer double-crossed us. He murdered two of my men and shot me in the leg. Resnick knew I hated him, and so when he got the information that Lattimer had killed Cross and that you had taken off, he asked me to tail you, stay close to you until your brother showed up.”

“You used me,” she said painfully. “And now he’s dead.”

Garrett blew out his breath again. “I know you’re hurt, honey. I’d do anything in the world to change what happened, but I’m not sorry he’s dead. I won’t lie to you just to get you to forgive me. He was a bastard of the first order. However, I’ll always be grateful that he saved your life. Given a choice between his death and yours? I’ll take his hands down.”

Her gaze flickered as a fresh wash of tears flooded her eyes.

“The thing is, the first time I laid eyes on you, things changed for me. I felt this connection between us and I was determined to keep you safe. Somehow you became mine from the first time I met you. After you left the island, I gave Resnick the slip. Told him to hell with the job. I just wanted you safe, and I wanted to remove any threat to you.

“I fell in love with you, Sarah. I fell in love with you but I still had a job to do. Lattimer was responsible for the deaths of many innocent people. I was sworn to take him down. I loved you, but I couldn’t look the other way. Not for you. Not for anyone. I know he was your brother and that in his own way he loved you and protected you. You loved and protected him. I understand that, but I couldn’t let him walk away after everything he’d done.”

Sarah closed her eyes against the tears. Against the pain of his words. She clenched her fingers into tight fists as Garrett’s impassioned words hit the very soul of her.

“I know he wasn’t a good man,” she whispered.

Garrett reached for one of her fists and gently pried her hand open before lacing his fingers through hers. “I know you don’t trust me after what happened, Sarah. I know trust is a big thing to you after what Cross did. I just want the chance to make it right. I want to show you that you can trust me. I love you. I want you with me. And I’ll do whatever it takes to have you in my life. Always.”

She raised her gaze to meet his and saw soul-deep pain reflected in his eyes. He was suffering too. He hurt like she hurt.

“What are you asking, Garrett? What do you see for us? I have to tell you. I’m a mess. I don’t have a job. I have less than a thousand dollars to my name. I’m still coming to grips with the fact that I was raped. I buried it deep and just existed from day to day.”

His eyes softened as he stared back at her. “What I see is a strong, resilient woman who knocks me on my ass every time she looks at me. I see someone who’s been hurt so badly she’s afraid to trust again. I see someone who has such a loving spirit, who strives to see the best in people despite being shown the worst. What do I see for us? I see you with me, making me happy until I draw my last breath. I see us living and laughing together, having children eventually. Enjoying sunsets and growing old together.”

His voice grew hoarse and shaky with emotion. “Honey, I don’t care if you don’t have a penny to your name. I don’t care if you have a job. Those things will come. What I want is for you to be with me so we can work this out together. Together we can do anything. You don’t have to go through this alone. I’ll be with you every step of the way. That’s what love is about.”