Hello, Goodbye, and Everything in Between(27)

“Oh, I think they’ll survive,” she tells him, but he runs a hand over the back of his beefy neck with a rueful look.

“I wouldn’t be too sure about that,” he says. “Allie left last week, and I’ll tell you what: Her mother and I are at loose ends. It feels like I’m missing my right arm.”

“I’m sure she’s missing you, too,” Clare assures him as Aidan finishes up at the pump and walks back around the front of the car.

“Hi there, young man,” Officer Lerner says. “You showing Clare a nice time on her last night?”

“Yes, sir,” Aidan says, sticking out his hand. “It’s mine, too, actually.”

“Last night,” he says, nodding appreciatively. “That’s big, huh?”

From where she’s sitting in the car, Clare can only see Aidan through the bug-speckled windshield, and she watches as he bobs his head a few times.

“You know,” Officer Lerner says, “I met Allie’s mother when I was in high school.”

“Oh, yeah?” Aidan says, cutting his eyes in Clare’s direction.

She knows what he’s thinking.

He’s thinking: See?

He’s thinking: I told you so.

He’s thinking: It can happen.

But Clare only looks away.

It’s true that the world is full of signs. They just mean different things to different people.

To Clare, this looks like the exception.

To Aidan, it looks like the rule.

“Love of my life,” Officer Lerner says with a wink, then taps the hood of the car once and steps back. “Though I’d better get going. If anyone spots me hanging around here too long, she’ll think I’ve been buying candy again, and she’ll have my neck for that.” He pats his chest pocket, which rustles, then winks at them again. “You two enjoy your last night, okay? Stay out of trouble.”

“We will,” Clare promises.

When he’s gone, Aidan slips back into the driver’s seat, and then sits there for what seems like a very long time without turning the key. As she waits, the silence starts to feel like something tangible, so thick it’s hard to breathe, and her face has gone warm in the too-small car. She moves to roll down her window, then changes her mind.

“Gum,” she says, her mouth a little chalky. “I need gum.”

Aidan frowns. “Okay.”

“Be right back,” she says, pushing open the door and gulping in the cool air as she weaves between the pumps.

Ahead of her, the mini-mart is like a brightly lit fishbowl in the surrounding darkness, and inside, it smells like an odd mix of gasoline and hot dogs. As she wanders up and down the aisles of chips and candy, the packaging electric-looking under the too-harsh lights, her heart beats fast at the thought of returning to the car.

They’d had a fight here once. It wasn’t their first, and it wasn’t their biggest, but it had trailed them all the way from Aidan’s house, where his father had—as usual—been on his case about his grades, which were always hovering somewhere between decent and pretty good, not because he wasn’t smart, but because he didn’t care enough to try. As they drove away, Clare couldn’t quite bring herself to disagree with Mr. Gallagher.

“If you spent even half the energy you do on the lacrosse field…” she’d said, and he shot her a look.

“It’s just as important,” he said. “We both know I’m not getting into college because of my grades.”

“Not if you don’t try,” she agreed as they pulled up to the gas station.

It had only escalated from there, and by the time they walked into the mini-mart, they were barely speaking. But after a few minutes wandering separate aisles, both of them still stewing, Clare felt something hit her lightly between her shoulder blades, and she spun around to find a box of Nerds on the floor at her feet.

When she looked up again, Aidan was smiling at her from the other side of a display of chips. “You’re right,” he said, then pointed at the box. “I’ll try harder. I promise to be more of a nerd.”

Clare glanced at the rack of candy bars closest to her and tossed him a roll of Smarties. “You’re already a nerd,” she told him. “And you’re already smart. You just need to put in the time.”

“I know,” he admitted.

She held up a Payday with a grin. “A reward for hitting the books.”

He threw a 100 Grand in her direction. “What’s it worth to you?”

“Go fish,” she said, winging a package of Swedish Fish at him, and by the time the cashier had kicked them out of the store, they were both laughing so hard they didn’t care.

Now the door opens behind her with a mechanical chime, and Clare turns to see Aidan standing there, looking a little dazed. He opens his mouth to say something, then snaps it shut again, and Clare is gripped by a sudden regret at the way the night has unfolded. It feels as if they’re on the brink of something they might not be able to take back, and she takes a quick step toward him, still not sure what she’s going to say. Behind her, the man at the register drums his fingers hard on the counter.

“You gonna buy that?” he asks, and Clare looks down, realizing that she’s holding a pack of gum in her clenched fist. When she uncurls her fingers to look at it, she feels like laughing. She tosses it to Aidan, who snags it easily, then holds it up to read the label. Once he does, his whole body seems to relax, and he raises his eyebrows.