Heaven and Hell (Heaven and Hell #1)(150)

I tangled my legs with his and pressed closer.

Then I turned my face to his shoulder, kissed his silken skin and whispered there, “I love you, honey.”

His hand settled on cheek a moment before it went away and he muttered in a normal Sam tone, “Good.”

I let out my breath, turned my head and laid my cheek back on his shoulder.

Sam’s arm got tighter.

He fell asleep way before me.

Hours later, I woke up alone.

Chapter Twenty-Five

Listen to Your Heart

One month later…

I was standing at the basin in the bathroom, brushing my teeth when Sam walked in wearing running clothes. That was to say loose shorts, a loose shirt with the sleeves cut off and running shoes.

He walked behind me, stopped, kissed my shoulder then found my eyes in the mirror.

“Gonna run. Be back before your folks hit the road.”

I nodded, still brushing.

He held my eyes.

I tried not to hold my breath.

Then he shocked me when he suddenly whispered, “Love me?”

It took everything I had not to fall to my knees.

As usual, he’d figured me out. He knew I was struggling.

He knew.

I triumphed, pulled the brush out of my mouth and answered, “Yes.”

He closed his eyes but I knew he tried to hide it because his arm went around my belly, his face quickly disappeared in my neck and against the skin there, he muttered, “Good.”

What he did not do was tell me he loved me.

He never told me he loved me.

Never.

His arm gave me a squeeze, he let me go and walked out of the bathroom.

When I lost sight of him, my hand shot out to curl around the basin. I dropped my head and closed my eyes. Then I held on tight and I held on a long time.

Then, when I felt I could do it, I lifted my head, slid the brush into my mouth and resumed brushing.

* * * * *

The day of Luci’s breakthrough everything changed between Sam and me.

None of it… not one thing… was good.

At first, I almost didn’t notice. It was just a niggle. But I put that down to his weird mood when he got back from Luci’s and the episode when he woke me up in the middle of the night, made love to me then forced that promise.

It was easy not to notice but I had to admit, I was kind of in denial. Still, Luci was getting her house ready for the market, Celeste was still there and Luci was still processing, talking, working things through.

We also had a short visit from a man called Joe “Cal” Callahan, Sam’s security specialist. Like Tanner Layne and Lee Nightingale, Joe Callahan was tall, dark, built and unbelievably gorgeous. He also had a scar on his face that marred his perfect male beauty in a way that was hot but also made him more than a little bit scary. But in the short time he was there, although gruff and mostly monosyllabic, he smiled a lot which made him a bit less scary. He also openly took a phone call from his woman which became a call where he also spoke to his woman’s two daughters during which his face got soft, he smiled even more and he laughed often.

This made him not scary at all.

That was until he traced how my hit man breached his system. This clearly pissed him off. Definitely a man who took his business seriously, had built a reputation and was not fond of that taking a hit. He did not need to make adjustments considering how the hit man breached his system included the hit man bribing someone at the electric company.

Cal visited this unfortunate electric company employee then returned, announcing firmly, “Situation neutralized.”

He gave no further information.

Sam nodded. I shivered.

Needless to say, all of the above took a lot of attention.

But also during it I noticed that Sam’s runs were longer and his stays at the gym were too.

And I further noticed a couple of times when Sam would tell me he had to go meet “a buddy” or had “something to do”. He didn’t tell me who the buddy was or what he had to do. He’d just go, come back and, like the day after the night of my promise, pretend it didn’t happen.

I let this slide and practiced patience, listened to Luci, spent time with Celeste and hoped.

I also kept true to my mission. I didn’t shower Sam with attention or change anything about me. I gave him me openly and steadily.

But I told him I loved him often. Not ridiculous amounts but enough.

He never said he loved me back. He liked it, I knew, he made that clear.

But his response was always, “Good.”

Then Celeste was gone, Luci’s house was on the market and she started to prepare for the big move. I helped. Sam helped.

But Sam’s runs kept running long, his workouts kept getting longer and the times he had to see to something or help out a buddy, none of these ever explained, increased in frequency.

I thought about it and decided to stop letting it slide.

If he had to see to something, I asked what.

Sam would say, “Not a big deal, baby. Won’t be long.”

Then he’d kiss me and he’d be gone.

Then if he had to help out a buddy, I’d ask who.

And Sam would say, “You don’t know him, honey. We’re not tight but he’s called a marker. I’ll be back soon.”

Then he’d kiss me and he’d be gone.