Hawk (A Stepbrother Romance #3)(43)

“While you were away fighting wars, I was fighting one of my own. I’ve been looking for a way to stop him for years even as I play dress up for him and be his good girl,” I spit the words, “Jacob and Jennifer are helping me.”

His hands tighten around mine. “I want to help, too. Tell me what’s going on.”

I sigh, and in a breathy whisper, I tell him everything that happened to me today, everything I heard and saw, everything Tom said.

He listens in silence until I finish and slip my hands from his to hug myself.

Hawk rests his big arms around me, and even if it’s an illusion, I feel so safe with him. My heart tells me this is right, so why can’t I make myself believe it?

Gingerly, hesitantly, I turn my face up to look at him, and wriggle in his arms enough to close the gap and press my lips to his.

“I hate myself,” he murmurs.

“Why?”

“For leaving. For not seeing. For not fighting. I didn’t know what I had until I was gone. I had no soul until I saw you again, Alex.”

Then he kisses me back, harder at first, then more gently, pulling away as if he’s afraid he’ll hurt me, but I follow him, kiss him back even more fiercely. It becomes a slow dance in tiny, gentle motions, our bodies intertwining until I’m in his arms, leaning into his grasp as he lowers me to the bed and hitches my blouse up around my hips, and pulls my panties down.

My hands tremble and I can barely work the buttons, one at a time, until Hawk does the bottom three and slides the blouse down my arms and pulls it out from under me. I twist to try to take my bra off. He pops the clasp for me, draws the straps down and my heart hammers in my chest as I bite my lip and watch his face as he drinks in the curves of my body and cool air touches my sweaty chest as the bra comes away and drops to the floor.

He just looks at me, grazing his thumb along the line of my jaw. I look over at the door; the knob lock is turned, the door locked, but it feels like no protection at all.

I pull at Hawk’s t-shirt, tug it loose of his jeans and he slips it over his head. A flush of excitement runs through me at the sight of his body and I touch him slowly, running my fingers over hard muscles, tracing the lines of his tattoos and the ridges of his scars.

He dips down and kisses me again, drinking deep.

“You taste like ginger ale,” he murmurs.

A foolish grin spreads on my face and I gasp softly as his lips find my throat, hot and soft on my skin.

“We have to be quiet,” I say.

“I know.”

“Are we going to?”

“Do you want to?”

I bite my lip and nod. Hawk lays beside me and I lift my legs. He slides my panties all the way down my legs and lifts them from my feet, then drops them to the floor. Then he unbuckles his belt and I sit up to unlace his boots.

It feels weird, sitting here naked, undoing his shoes. His eyes roam the curves of my body, but it only makes me feel heat, arousal spreading from my center through all of my body. He caresses my back, tracing his finger down my spine as I tug his boots off and set them one at a time on the floor.

As I lean back, he shoves out of his pants and they fall to the floor, and we both freeze as his belt buckle makes a soft metal clink. Then I laugh a little, so softly. As if someone would have heard that. Taking me by the hips, he pulls me to him and I feel his lips on my shoulder from behind, then working down my arm as he rolls me onto my back.

Hawk lightly takes my nipple in his mouth, and I shudder as I feel his tongue moving wet around it. Warmth spreads through my body as he looks up at me and our eyes meet. His hand rests on my stomach as he sucks my breast, gliding down and over my mound, his fingertip sliding against my entrance, up and down.

“Do you like that?”

I nod vigorously.

“What about this?”

He kisses his way up to my armpit, and then down the outer curve of my breast, opening his mouth wide. The feeling of his teeth on my skin makes me shudder. His tongue is hot and slides over my flesh, as his finger presses just a little more, not ready to enter me, but sending shocks down my legs as I feel it press at my entrance and draw back, stroking my lips, then almost enter me again.

I roll my hips and his finger slips inside me. He looks up as he flicks his tongue against the skin under my breast, watching me as his finger enters me deeper. Shifting on the bed, he kisses his way down my stomach and I stare at his body, my stomach fluttering at the sight. He’s solid muscle, and I feel almost embarrassed when I realize it.

This is the first time I’ve ever seen him completely naked. Or him me, for that matter. I have to almost force myself to look at his cock, and when I do I gasp. I didn’t think it would be that, uh, big. He must be excited. He lays on his side and licks me as his finger starts to pump inside me and I stretch a little to reach him.

His whole body jerks when his cock slides through my palm. It’s hard as steel, but it feels soft too, almost velvety. He pants a little when I do it again, and shifts so I can reach better. I cup my hand around his balls and he looks at me and sucks my clit, and my whole body arches.

My legs start to shake. It feels too good. He moves and I can’t reach him anymore, but he doesn’t seem to care. He takes long strokes, licking me, and each time heat surges through my body. I groan softly.

“Hawk?”

He looks up, but doesn’t stop.

“Lay on your back.”