Hawk (A Stepbrother Romance #3)(35)

“Did he know where you were?”

“No.”

“If he did, would he have come?”

I swallow, but don’t answer her.

“Ask him again. Lay it out for him.”

“Whatever you decide to do, we have your back. If you want to get out now, we’ll get you out.”

“My stepfather has connections. He knows people.”

She only smirks a little. “I’m scared.”

“I’ll get you something you can use, I promise.”

“Don’t do anything rash, Alexis. Your safety is more important to us, to me, than dealing with your father. We have other ways of taking care of that. This is our mess to clean up.”

“No,” I say, “It’s mine. I was helping him for years.”

Again, she puts her hand on my shoulder. “You did what you had to do for yourself, and for your sister. Survival sometimes means we have to do things we’re not proud of, or even ashamed of, but that doesn’t make us weak, and it doesn’t make us wrong. You’re taking a stand now and that’s what matters most. Go tell my husband to get back here.”

Sighing, I walk back down the path, hook left at the parked bikes and find Jacob and Hawk standing around, eyeballing each other. I can practically smell the testosterone.

“Hey,” I tell Jacob, “Your wife wants you back.”

“Remember to call if there’s trouble. Don’t wait.”

Nodding, he starts back up the path, breaking into a jog. I look at Hawk, leaning against the tree. He’s doing it again.

Looking at me like he’s never seen me before.

“What did he tell you?”

“He told me to ask why my father put you in the psych ward.”

Of course he did. I chuff out a breath. “Will you tell me why your father made you leave?”

He kicks the ground and steps towards me. “Damn it, Alex. Just telling you could put your life in danger.”

My life in danger. That’s a good one.

“If you won’t trust me with your secrets, why should I trust you with mine?”

I put my hands on his chest, and wait.

“He killed my mother,” he says, very softly.

My stomach drops, and I feel my knees wobble a little.

“What?”

He looks around, and lowers his voice. “He put a drug called methyl iodide in my mother’s coffee. It made it look like she had a stroke.”

I take a step back, then another, and then another, and suddenly he’s holding me by the arms, holding me up. He pulls me to him off the path and I sink against the tree and sit down between the roots. Hawk lowers himself next to me and I sit there and hug myself.

“Why… you didn’t say anything?”

“He caught me on his computer. We fought. He told me to leave town. I told him to go f*ck himself. I was going to kill him. Then…”

“What?”

“You. He said if I didt anything he’d hurt you. He didn’t say what he’d do but he said he had friends that would like to… do things… to you. You, Alex. I don’t care what happens to me. If something happened to you, I’d die. I’d rather cut out my own heart.”

My throat is dry as a bone.

“If… if you’d known where I was, would you have come for me?”

“Yes.”

He says it immediately, without hesitation, without reservation. He grabs my hand and squeezes, and a bright brilliant burning part of me wants to throw my arms around him right now, but another part goes cold, and I pull my hand out of his.

“I don’t know if I can do it,” I say, softly. “It hurt me, Hawk. What they did. It hurt me here.” I touch my chest. “I still have feelings for you, I think, but I can’t…”

I trail off.

He pulls his hand back and leans on his knees.

“Will you tell me what happened? Why they committed you?”

“I didn’t do anything wrong,” I blurt out, choking down a sob. “I didn’t!”

“Alex, I know you didn’t do anything-”

“I mean I didn’t do anything. I don’t know why. I was home for winter break and I was living with them because mom moved in and gave up the apartment.” It just spills out of me in a single breath. “Tom was in his office talking to some guy about shipments or clearing customs or something, and he said something about… about whales?” I clutch my head. “I can’t remember. The drugs make it all fuzzy.”

By the end I’m whimpering.

Lightly, gingerly, Hawk puts his arm around me and pulls me to him. I bury my face in his chest and choke down my sobs.

“It’s okay, Alex.”

“It’s not okay. It’ll never be okay. I still have dreams about that place. Sometimes I wake up and I think I’m still there and this is all a dream. I’m still trapped on the bed and I can feel that knife on my leg and any second it’s going to start sawing and…”

“It’s okay, I’ll never let-”

“I have worse dreams. They have me strapped down and it’s May. She’s in the bed next to mine and they’re injecting her with something and she starts screaming. Sometimes I wake up and I can’t… I can’t move.”