Harvest Moon (Virgin River #15)(90)

“And there’s Lief,” Jill said.

“And there’s Lief,” Kelly agreed with a smile. “I can’t give him up cold turkey. Because I love him. But hey—he won’t be neglecting his daughter if she spends the night with a girlfriend once or twice a month! He can drive down to the city once in a while. I’ll come up here sometimes.”

Jill held Kelly’s hand across the table. “I know we never lived together after you turned eighteen and went off to study food, but it’s very hard to give you up after having you here for five months.”

Kelly squeezed the hand. “You’re not giving me up. But Jill, you have your business and your relationship. What I have is too much time on my hands, too much room left over in my heart. I need more than work. I learned that when I fell in love with Lief. I need to feel needed, not superfluous. I need to be a part of something that’s vital and growing, not waiting around to see if anything will take root. I’ve given this enough time. It’s no one’s fault. It is what it is. This is the right decision for me. I’ll come back up for a weekend in two or three weeks.”

“What did Lief say when you were with him last night?” Jill asked.

“That he loved me and wishes I could stay, but of course he understands. He was never in a situation like I am. When he met his wife, she had a little girl who instantly adored him. It wasn’t a challenge. He still hopes this can work out between us.”

The back door opened, and Colin was pulling off his gloves as he stepped inside. He wore an army-green canvas jacket over a black turtleneck, his hair pulled back into a ponytail. He was smiling. “I completely repacked the back of your car. Now you’ll be able to actually use the rearview mirror. You’re good to go.”

“Thanks,” Kelly said. “I’m going to miss you, too. But I think I have to hit the road before you get pudgy.”

“You spoiled me, that’s for sure. You call us the minute you get there.”

“Sure.”

“And take your time,” he ordered, opening his arms to her.

“Yes, sir,” she said, walking into his embrace. “Take care of my sister, Colin. I’m counting on you.”

“Jilly’s in good hands, Kell. Take good care of yourself. You’re always feeding everyone else—remember to feed yourself, too. And I’m not just talking about food.”

“Thanks, I’ll remember that.” Kelly hugged her sister. “Thank you for everything, honey. I was so happy here in your wonderful house. You made it so easy for me.”

“You remember, it’s always here for you. Always. If you get tired of working for that crazy Italian, you come up here and make sauces and relishes.”

“I will.”

Colin held the door open for her, letting Kelly precede them onto the back porch. And there Kelly stopped, coming face-to-face with a little sprite a few inches shorter than she was. Courtney looked a little surprised. Maybe nervous. “Well, hello,” Kelly said. “I didn’t expect you to be up so early. We said our goodbyes. Maybe I’ll see you in a few weeks.”

Behind Courtney, leaning against Kelly’s packed car, his hands in his pockets, was Lief. Beside him, sitting politely, was the dog.

“You can’t go yet,” Courtney said.

“Courtney, I have to get moving or I’ll end up in city traffic—”

“No, I mean, don’t go at all. Not yet. There’s still things we can try. Like Jerry said we might try some group counseling to see if we’re all in the same canoe—he likes to say that. He also likes to say ‘Get it out there where we can look at it.’ Here—so you can look at it—most of the time when I wasn’t so nice, I knew it. I’m not even sure why, but I knew it. I can be a lot nicer. Seriously.”

“Why are you doing this now?” Kelly asked.

“I didn’t think you’d really go,” she said. “Seriously, I thought there’d be at least one more warning.”

Kelly hugged her quick and hard. Then she pulled away, looked into Courtney’s pretty eyes and said, “Listen, I won’t be far. And I’ll be back at least every month, maybe a couple of times a month.”

“But no,” she said. “Don’t go.”

“Courtney, I’m sorry, but Luca’s counting on me. He offered me a good job and I made a commitment to him. He needs me. But I’ll visit, I promise.”

“But my dad needs you,” she said, her eyes welling with tears.

Kelly felt a hand on her shoulder, too big and heavy to be Jill’s. Colin’s hand. Shoring her up.

Kelly looked at Lief. His posture was unchanged, but he made a slight shrug, barely discernable.

“Courtney, your dad can call me every day. We’ll talk. We’ll see each other now and then. This isn’t a surprise. We talked about it.”

“You can’t just walk out on him,” she said. “You have to give it a little more time.”

“I’m not, honey. I’m not walking out on your dad and he understands that. Lief,” she said. “Lief, tell her that I’m not abandoning you.”

“She’s not, Court. She needs to be someplace where she feels she really belongs, where she’s counted on and feels useful and appreciated. I understand that.”