Harvest Moon (Virgin River #15)(55)

“You seem to think you have this all figured out…”

“I know I do.”

“I’m not sure you have it figured out accurately, however. I want to suggest something to you. I think we might try a little family counseling—you and Lief. An open dialogue, to kind of sort through your anxieties. About relationships and your future.”

“Ah… I don’t think I’m ready for that…”

“Can’t really hurt anything,” Jerry said. “It might help.”

“Right, and I’d be ganged up on by the two of you, who both think this girlfriend thing is a good idea. Naw. I can’t do that now. Not now. Things are kind of…okay. I don’t want to mess with it while it’s okay…”

“Courtney, you should talk to Lief about this stuff. He might be able to reassure you, and if he can reassure you, things could be better than just okay for you.”

“I don’t know about that. It might just work him up. Get him mad or something.”

“Well, you’re planning a trip together, right?” Jerry asked.

“To Idaho to his family’s farm. We’re driving. His parents, brothers, sister, nieces and nephews. Lots of them live around there, but we’re staying on the farm.”

“Is the new girlfriend going?”

“No,” Courtney said. “Just me and Lief.”

“Ah,” Jerry said. “Long car ride. That could be a good time for you and Lief to have an honest discussion about the things that worry you. Will you at least consider it?”

Courtney frowned. “I’ll think about it. But to be honest, the thought of bringing it all up just makes my stomach hurt.”

“I understand. The theory behind counseling is that once you actually talk about these things, the stomachache goes away”

“Don’t you tell him, Jerry! Remember, you promised!”

“I never break a confidence, Courtney. But why would you harbor all this fear inside when you could throw your cards on the table, deal with it and move on?”

“Because,” she said firmly. “I have it under control!”

Lief wouldn’t ordinarily endorse Courtney taking a day off from school unless she was sick, but she hadn’t missed any school this year so he went to the principal and asked permission to take her out on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving to accommodate the drive to Idaho. Then they packed the truck on Tuesday night and left it parked in the garage so they could leave very, very early. He dragged Courtney, her pillow and a throw, whining and whimpering, to the truck before five. It was going to be at least a seven-hour drive.

He had also packed sodas on ice, a thermos of coffee, water, some power bars, cookies and sandwiches. It wasn’t a route heavily populated with restaurants.

It was ten before Courtney roused. “Good morning,” he said with a smile, and then he quit talking. He knew her pretty well by now—both the old Courtney and this newer, more unpredictable Courtney. He gave her plenty of time to get adjusted. He was never sure which Courtney would wake up on any given day.

“Ah,” she said, stretching. “Thanks for letting me sleep. Is my hair all wonky?”

He chuckled. “It looks fine. When you’re hungry or thirsty, I have food, cola and bottled water.”

“Oh, you didn’t suck it all down while I was sleeping?” she asked with humor.

“I managed to save you some.”

He concentrated on driving while she woke herself up, had something to eat and drink. Then he said, “We only have a couple of hours left.”

“Good,” she said.

“I hope you’re not too bored while we’re there,” he said.

She just shrugged. “I’ll be fine.”

“My brothers’ and sister’s kids and grandkids won’t all be there—but my cousin Jim lives nearby and he has some horses. We could drive over one day and saddle up a couple—I’m sure he wouldn’t mind. You and I—we could have a ride. If you want to.”

She sighed heavily.

“Bad idea?”

“Listen, there was something I was meaning to tell you, but it’s a secret, okay?”

His heart dropped in his chest. He never knew what to expect. “Sure,” he said, wondering if that was a promise he could keep.

“I’m afraid of horses. Oh, I’m okay with Blue now. And I kind of got used to a couple of the others. But I’m not a natural, all right? I mean, I don’t regret the riding lessons. I’m glad I did it and I think I should keep doing it. But I’m not that good yet. I couldn’t control a horse I don’t know. And I usually get the runs when I know I’m going to have to get up on the horse.”

Lief gave a bark of a laugh. “Really?” he asked.

“You think it’s funny?” she asked, insulted to her core.

“I think it’s funny you didn’t tell me and you’ve been putting up with the runs!”

“I think Lilly Tahoma knows. She said she was glad to get me fresh, with no bad habits to unlearn. But don’t expect me to run around the countryside looking for a horse to ride.”

“Courtney, when you ride Blue, is it okay?”

“Oh, I love Blue,” she admitted. “She’d never throw me or stomp me. Not on purpose, anyway. But it took me a while to feel all right with her.”