Hannah's List (Blossom Street #7)(51)

The evening with Michael Everett had been a beacon in a dark, sad month. Her world had spiraled downward after seeing Mark. His rejection hadn't seemed real until he'd said it to her face. It was as if the last vestige of hope had been stolen from her. After that, any remnant of optimism had vanished. What she didn't understand was why she continued to care. She needed to wipe the slate clean and start again instead of allowing regret to define her mood.

The phone rang; Leanne glanced at the readout and saw that it was Muriel Lancaster, her former mother-in-law. "Hello?" Leanne answered as if she didn't know who was on the other line. She tried to sound cheerful. Undefeated.

"Oh, Leanne. I wasn't sure if you'd be home from work yet."

"I just walked in the door." That was a slight exaggeration. She'd been home long enough to know she couldn't match wits with the Jeopardy! contestants.

"We heard from Mark this week," Muriel said. "I... understand you went to see him."

Leanne swallowed hard. "That was a big mistake. I should've called first.... That would've been better than showing up unannounced."

Then she would've had some warning and could have made the much more sensible decision not to go.

"It went badly, then?" Muriel asked, but didn't wait for a response. "I was afraid of that."

"It was my fault." Which was true enough, since she shouldn't have gone in the first place.

"How are you holding up?"

"I'm fine," Leanne assured her. Smarter and wiser, anyway.

"Brian and I are planning to drive over to Seattle to visit Mark next weekend."

"But Mark's in Yakima."

"No--not anymore. He's finished his community service there, and he's back in the Seattle area."

"Well...it'll be a lovely drive," she said, wanting to change the subject. His parents lived east of the mountains in Spokane.

"We hoped... Do you think you'll be available, too? I can't recall the last time the two of us had a chance to really talk."

"Ah..." Leanne wasn't sure how to respond. She loved Muriel and Brian, Mark's father, but seeing them would serve no useful purpose.

"I understand if you have other plans. It is rather short notice," his mother said with some reluctance.

"Yes, sorry. Perhaps another time would be best." Leanne felt mildly guilty for putting her off, but also relieved.

The line went silent for a few seconds. "Brian and I decided we should come and see Mark. He seemed so depressed."

He wasn't the only one.

"This is very hard on Brian," Muriel said, lowering her voice. "He has trouble believing this could've happened to our family."

"I have trouble believing it, too," Leanne murmured.

"I know. I probably shouldn't have called.... It's just that I always feel better after we talk. I don't dare mention to Mark that the two of us still communicate. That would upset him." She paused. "I can't stand the fact that our children are having such a hard time. It doesn't seem fair, but then life isn't fair, is it?" Her voice cracked and she took in a deep, audible breath.

"I know Mark appreciates your love and support," Leanne said.

"Like I said, I always feel better after I talk to you," Muriel said.

"I do, too." Not only did she miss her mother-in-law, but Muriel was the one reliable source of information she had regarding her ex-husband.

"I'll phone again when we're back from seeing him, shall I?"

"Yes, please do." Mark wouldn't need to know, and Leanne wasn't foolish enough to pretend that she didn't want information.

She kept telling herself she should be over this. Her last visit--that was how she'd think of that confrontation from now on. Her last visit. Her last attempt at any kind of contact. Their relationship, or what little had remained of it, was done.

"Goodbye, Leanne, and thank you."

"You're welcome," she said, although she didn't know what Muriel had to thank her for.

An hour later, her stomach growled and she decided to make something for dinner. She cooked the same quantities as when she was married and froze the second portion. Cooking for one was ridiculous, hardly worth the bother. Unlike a lot of newly single women--or so she'd heard--she hadn't stopped with meal preparation. Funny how a little thing like that could help her emotionally, but it had. The routine itself--the shopping and planning, as well as the cooking--gave her home life a sense of order she'd been in danger of losing.

She sat down to a plate of clam spaghetti, which had been one of Mark's favorites. It was her own recipe, made with olive oil, clam juice, red pepper flakes and plenty of chopped garlic and onion. Spreading out a linen napkin on her lap, she sighed and tried to think of something pleasant.

Her evening with Michael Everett had actually turned out to be much more enjoyable than she'd expected. She'd felt a bond with him; perhaps surprisingly, they had a lot in common. He was a decent man who had yet to chart his way through the land of loss and grief. He'd already traveled some distance, as their evening together attested, but still had miles to go.

She hadn't heard from him since, and Leanne hadn't decided how she felt about that. For the first day or two after their date, she'd thought he might call her. He hadn't.