Halfway There (Fool's Gold #9.75)(15)

In that moment, with her stomach writhing and her chest tight, she understood that Ryan leaving was going to be more difficult for her than she’d planned. That while he was supposed to be a fling, he’d somehow become a little bit more. Okay, a lot more. While she’d been busy having fun with him, she’d also been falling in love.

“What is it?” she asked, her lips suddenly dry.

He moved toward her and took her hands in his. “Ethan offered me a job. Full-time. He wants me to stay in Fool’s Gold.”

She pulled free of his hold and stared at him. “A job here? You’re not leaving?”

“I haven’t decided yet. I wanted to talk to you about it.”

Relief battled with fury. Because she knew what would happen. She was going to have to give up her dream. She was going to get married before she was ready and somehow her business wouldn’t get off the ground and she would never have her four employees and it was all Ryan’s fault.

One corner of his mouth turned up. “Whatever you’re thinking, you have to stop. I can hear the wheels turning from here.”

“No,” she said, stomping her foot. “It’s not fair. I have a plan, and while that might seem silly to you, it’s really important to me. I want to get my business going. I want to be successful.”

She paused for air. “I’m not stupid. I get all the psychological reasons. I lost my parents when I was young. It was horrible and unexpected and ever since then I’ve tried to control everything so I never feel so out of control again. So what? It’s my emotional scar, and I accept it. I want to start my business.”

She consciously lowered her voice to something slightly less shrill. “It’s not that I don’t like you. I do. A lot. But that’s not the point. You have to do what you have to do. It’s your decision. But I don’t want you to go and I’m scared of what will happen if you stay. I’ll get distracted by you and my feelings. We’ll get really serious and then we’ll get married and there will be kids and what about my career? What about what I want? Because when people get married, the woman is usually the one who compromises. I don’t want to lose my dream because of some guy. Even if that guy is you.”

She pressed her lips together and replayed her outburst. Heat burned her cheeks as she realized that, yes, she had discussed them getting married and having children, all while saying that wasn’t going to work for her, when all he’d done was tell her Ethan had offered him a job.

“I have to go throw up,” she said, spinning toward the bathroom.

He reached for her and pulled her close. “You’re a handful—you know that.”

At least he wasn’t running, she told herself. So maybe she hadn’t scared him too much. His arms felt good around her. Warm and strong and safe.

He eased her toward the living room, then settled her on the sofa. He sat next to her, her hand in his, his gaze locked on her face.

“Let’s take your concerns one at a time,” he said.

“Oh, let’s not.” She touched her cheek with her free fingers. “I shouldn’t have said all that.”

He shook his head. “One of the things I admire most about you is how determined you are and how honest. You say what you think. I want you to be honest.”

He gave her a gentle smile. “I know your goals are important to you. I understand you need to be successful and I’m impressed you’re self-aware enough to know why. We’re both young, so there’s no reason to move fast in this relationship.”

“Are you talking emotionally or about sex?” she blurted out before she could stop herself. “Because I’m open to...”

Another blush flared.

His eyebrows rose. “Sex, huh?”

She thought about the back part of the thong digging into her butt. “You have no idea,” she muttered.

“Good. We’ll get to that in a second. But let’s finish up with my job offer. Do you love me?”

She bit her lip and gathered all her courage, then nodded slowly. Admitting it while calm was much scarier than announcing it in the heat of a rant.

“I love you, too. I think you’re the most intriguing woman I’ve ever met. But you need to focus on your business, and I need to get settled with Ethan. Why don’t we do this—we’ll date exclusively for the next three years. Then I’ll propose. We’ll be engaged for a year and get married when you’re twenty-eight.”

Emotions flooded her. Warm, happy feelings that had her blinking to hold back tears. “You’d do that for me?”

“I’d do anything for you, Fayrene. I’m going to spend the rest of my life proving that to you.”

She flung herself at him. He caught her and held her close. His mouth claimed hers with a kiss that promised her his heart. He slipped his hand to her knee and moved his fingers up the back of her thigh.

“Now about this sex thing,” he said, his voice teasing.

Then he reached the top of her thigh and the absence of panties. His whole body stiffened. She opened her eyes and found him staring at her. He swore under his breath.

“What are you wearing under that?”

She smiled. “I’m not sure I should tell you.”

“You could show me instead.”

“I suppose I could. But what about dinner?”