Grounded (Up in the Air #3)(49)

James turned me in his arms, his hold unbreakable. He tilted my chin up until I had a clear look at his tarnished eyes. “Tell me something,” he began in that silky tone. “Is it romantic or psychotic when I say that I’ll never let you leave me?”

I studied him. I just couldn’t tell if there was even a hint of humor to his words when he was in this mood. “I suppose that would depend on whether I’m trying to leave you or not. If I never tried, it’s romantic, and if I ever did, and you didn’t let me, definitely psychotic. Why are you trying to scare me, James?” My voice was steady and calm. I would cope with this. I would not run just because he was acting so strange.

His smile was a bitter twist to his pretty mouth. I didn’t like it a bit. It spoke of secrets and fears. “I’m not trying to scare you, Love. I mean to keep you. I’m just trying to gauge how badly you want to be kept.”

“I want you to tell me what’s going on. Is it something to do with that conversation you had with Roger?”

His brows shot up. “So happy you asked about Roger. I just finished having a meeting with him, and he’s dying to meet you, so he’ll be here shortly. You’ll like him. Very nice man.”

I traced a finger down the smooth plane of his cheek. I rubbed at a spot there where it dimpled when he smiled. “So you refuse to tell me? Is that how it’s going to be with us?” I asked him.

The mask he’d been maintaining slipped for an instant, giving me a glimpse into raw, desperate eyes.

“No, Bianca. I want us to share everything. I mean that. Will you just give me time?”

“Will you stop acting like the world is about to fall down around us?”

“Yes, of course. If I know that you’re devoted to me, and devoted to us staying together, it will help immensely.”

“I’ve told you how I feel. But you can’t make me depend on you so quickly, so desperately, and then close yourself off. I can’t take that, James. It raises all of my defenses—sets off all of my alarms, when you act scared and secretive.

He nodded. “Yes. I’m sorry. I’ve been on edge with a crucial negotiation. It is a lose-lose type of scenario. I’ll try not to take it home with me anymore. Ah, here comes Roger.”

Roger was an attractive man, with slate gray hair and a face that looked like it had been lined and weathered with smiles rather than frowns. He was a fit man, maybe in his early fifties. His smile was big and sincere as he approached us.

“Leave it to James to drag me clubbing in my fifties,” he said by way of greeting.

I smiled at him. He held out a hand, and I pulled back far enough from James to shake it.

“I’m Roger, an old friend of the family. And you’re Bianca. I’ve heard so much about you. I begin to see why my young friend has turned over a new leaf.” His tone was rich and warm with sincerity.

A waiter approached our group, looking nervous and anxious. James leveled a hard stare at him that made the waiter’s anxiety understandable.

“Mr. Cavendish, sir. Jeff, the manager, needs a moment of your time.”

James watched the other man, his cold stare the epitome of intimidation. “Really? He needs my presence right now? Does he think that I’m here for business?”

“No, sir. He knows you are here, uh, socially. He said it was very important.”

James smiled a sharp smile that was all perfect white teeth. It was scary. “Tell him I’ll be with him momentarily.”

He nodded at Roger, kissing my cheek roughly. He looked agitated, his jaw clenched. “If you’ll both excuse me, I’ll be back in a moment. This had better be good.”

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Mr. Curious

We watched him stride away.

Roger spoke when he was a good distance away. “Pardon my bluntness, Bianca, but are you at all aware of James’s past?”

I turned to look at him, meeting his eyes very steadily. “What are you referring to exactly?”

He sighed, looking uncomfortable. “He was given into the care of a cousin of his shortly after his parents died. I fought this decision—fought it hard, but I was overturned by his family. I had no legal ability to protect him. I only have my suspicions about his guardian, and it really isn’t my place to be telling you this, but in order to understand some of what James has done, I think you should know—“

“I know all about Spencer, if that’s what you’re getting at. Why are you telling me this?”

He studied me. “He told you about Spencer?”

I nodded.

He looked startled. “It’s probably a very good sign that he shared something like that with you. The reason I bring it up, though, is that after he left Spencer’s care, he became a different kid for a long time. He was wild and unruly. I barely knew him anymore. Whatever happened with his guardian, it affected him in a very negative way. I don’t know if you know this, but he used to be quite…promiscuous.”

I felt my eyes harden as I looked at him. “I’m well aware of that. Trust me when I say that it’s been brought to my attention many times.”

“So you know how he used to be? Up until he met you, he was…”

“He was a slut. Yes, I know. What’s your point?” I felt rude even as I said the words, but God was I sick of this subject.