Grim Shadows (Roaring Twenties #2)(100)

“And I’m so sorry for that. It wrecks me to imagine how much you’ve been hurting, but you didn’t have to go through it alone. All you had to do was talk to me.”

“Why would I have any reason to believe you wanted me to? I lied and you walked away.”

“You better believe I did,” she said, blinking away angry tears. “I’ve been betrayed by a lot of people in my life, but I never saw it coming from you. You might as well have stuck that dagger of yours in my belly, because I think that would’ve hurt less.”

Lowe’s eyes brimmed with emotion. “I truly never meant to hurt you.”

“But you did, and you should’ve at least tried to talk to me—if not about us, then about Adam. After what we’d been through together, I would think you owed me that much. Or did you . . .” She waited for her throat to stop clenching, but when she spoke, her voice still sounded rough and torn. “Do you blame me for what happened to him?”

His gaze dropped to the floorboards. “I wanted to blame you, believe me. But I’m the one who found the damned amulet and brought it here. I’m the one who asked Adam to duplicate it. So in the end, it was easier to blame myself.”

“Lowe—”

“When I botch things up, I do it spectacularly. I lost you and Adam the same day, all because I wasn’t man enough to own up to my lies. It’s impressive, really, how far I had to fall to realize that.”

She didn’t know what to say. All the fight drained away from her.

“So, yes. I blamed myself,” he finished in a softer voice. “But after a few days passed, I started thinking about your father.”

“My father,” she repeated in bewilderment.

He jiggled the change in his pocket and exhaled heavily. “When your mother got eight extra years from that spell, instead of your father spending that time trying to fix what was broken between them, he spent a fortune traveling the globe, trying to find a three-thousand-year-old object to kill his best friend. Granted, his friend was a monster, and the complete opposite of Adam in every way.”

“Oh, Lowe.”

He shook his head, as if it was over and done, and he wasn’t interested in rehashing it. Then he returned to his explanation. “But see, it didn’t even stop there. After your mother was gone, your father spent decades more clinging to this idea of revenge. Decades. That’s a damn long time to be angry. Maybe all of this could’ve been avoided if he’d just accepted that he was partly to blame. Perhaps he should’ve asked himself if your mother turned to Noel because your father forgot that a relationship needs tending.”

A long pause hung between them.

“The same thing happened to you and Adam,” she murmured, suddenly realizing. “When you and Miriam . . .”

“Everyone makes mistakes. Forgiving yourself for making them is much easier when the people you surround yourself with are willing to give you the same consideration.”

She quickly swiped away tears with gloved fingers. “You got Stella?”

“Yes and no.” He looked toward the back hallway, where Astrid and Bo had taken her outside. “The court doesn’t like to give guardianship to single men who aren’t family. Especially ones who don’t own property and spend half their year in other countries. They also frown on having a police record. Apparently you need high morals to raise a child these days.”

“Hard to believe,” she said with a wry smile.

“Lucky for me, it turns out the judge owns stock in one of the hotels that the Magnussons supply with booze.”

“Ah.” She nodded. “Very convenient.”

“Indeed. So he granted temporary guardianship to Winter and Aida. We got her released from the orphanage about ten days ago. She was a little shell-shocked at first, but she warmed up to the household pretty fast. Turns out a girl’s fancy can be swayed with large amounts of sponge cake and shiny toys.”

Hadley murmured her agreement, low and softly. “I seem to remember you swaying me with lemon pie.”

“And I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”

Warmth bloomed across her chest. She looked away. “So you bought Gloom Manor to get guardianship of Stella?”

“Partly. The family house is crowded, what with Winter and Aida having a baby. Stella’s a little intimidated by Aida’s mastiff. And I’ve wanted my own place for a while. Your father’s money made that possible.”

“He told me about that this afternoon. He also mentioned you’d squared things up with Levin?”

“Your father helped me with that. He gave Levin the forged amulet base with the real paperwork. If it had come from me, Levin would’ve sensed something was up. But your father was able to convince him that he was trading Levin’s silence about the crocodile forgery for a real artifact.”

“Dear God,” she mumbled. “He tricked Levin?”

“Dr. Bacall is quite the actor.”

“I didn’t know he had it in him.”

“Now everyone’s happy—Levin thinks he owns a rare piece of history, your reputation remains intact, and Monk is satisfied. And I think Adam would be pleased to know that his last masterpiece went to righting a wrong. He would definitely approve.”

They looked at each other for a moment, and a terrible shyness crept over her. She looked away and fidgeted with the cuff of her coat. “I don’t know what to say. I feel like I’ve been living in another world while all of this was going on.”