Golden Trail (The 'Burg #3)(219)
Jasper grinned at him. “Yeah, but, I need to talk, I’ll pick a time when Rocky’s not sedated in your bedroom.”
Layne grinned back. “Good call,” he muttered then lifted the bottle in his hand. “You wanna beer?”
Jasper’s brows shot up. “Seriously?”
“Fuck no,” Layne replied.
Jasper chuckled.
Layne moved into his son, wrapped an arm around him and pulled him close, let him go, turned and walked up the stairs to Rocky.
* * * * *
Layne knew she was awake ten minutes before she stirred and lifted her head from his chest.
Her neck twisted and her eyes hit his.
“Faker,” he whispered.
She blinked slowly.
Then she whispered back, “What?”
“Sweetcheeks, you’ve been fakin’ sleep for ten minutes.”
“Oh.” She was still whispering and now pushing away.
So Layne’s arm, already around her, tightened and he pulled her up his chest.
She put slight pressure on him, not too much but avoided his eyes.
“Baby, look at me,” Layne ordered gently and her eyes came to his. “How you feelin’?”
“Weird,” she answered.
“You remember?”
She pressed her lips together. Then she nodded.
“All of it?”
“What day is today?” she asked.
“Saturday,” he answered.
“Then yes. All of it.”
“How many days you lose to this shit?”
“Well, I’ve been lying there thinking about it and I’m guessing… two.”
“That’s my guess too,” Layne told her. “So it never happened before?”
“Not that I know of.”
“But you might not remember?”
“I’m thinking… no.”
“Doc gave me some names and numbers of people you can call. We’ll see it never happens again.”
She stopped pressing against him and her weight hit his side.
Then she whispered, “Tripp and Jas saw –”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“I think –”
“Rocky, honey, you know they’re good kids. This is life. I can’t shield them from life forever. They’ve gotta learn how to deal. What happened was real. It needed to happen. You needed to get that shit out. You did it surrounded by people who care a lot about you. When that shit happens, that’s the best place to be.”
“It’s embarrassing,” she whispered.
“Baby,” he whispered back, pulling her closer and wrapping his other arm around her. “Your mother died while you listened. That marked you. There is nothing embarrassing about that. You loved her, you lost her and it marked you. It’s not embarrassing because there’s beauty in that.”
“Beauty?” she breathed.
“You loved her.”
Her eyes grew bright with tears and she nodded.
“That’s beautiful.”
She dropped her head, planted her face in his chest and his hand came up and slid over her hair.
“You go to her grave,” Layne whispered.
“I miss her,” Rocky whispered back.
“She was a good Mom,” Layne stated.
“The best.” She lifted her head and looked at him. “You would have liked her. She was funny.”
“I remember her. You look like her.”
She nodded. Then she sucked in breath.
“It was talking about having babies,” she whispered. “After you said that, I started to get these thoughts.”
Layne’s arms gave her a squeeze. “I’m sorry, honey.”
She shook her head. “Don’t be. You can’t guard against everything you say.”
“No.”
“Then it was the table.” She shook her head again. “Mom always made us eat at the table. Every night. I have trouble eating at a table.” Her eyes were intense on his. “It’s been hard, since she’s been gone, to sit at a table with family around. When we were together, I used to look at you, something about looking at you made me settle.”
Layne closed his eyes then opened them and wrapped his hand around her neck.
“I remember,” he told her.
“It made me feel safe.”
“Yeah?”
“I knew, you were around, you’d never let anything hurt me.”
“Baby.” His voice was hoarse and his arm at her back and hand at her neck gave her a tight squeeze.
“I’m scared a lot, Layne,” she admitted quietly. “So often, I got used to it. It lives with me. It’s in my skin.”
“It gets to you, if it’s dark.”
She nodded. “You help me beat it back.”
“Rocky –”
“Then and now.”
“Baby –”
“I don’t want to be scared anymore, Layne.”
His fingers slid into her hair and he pulled her face to his, touching his mouth to hers, then he let her move back an inch.
“We’ll see to that, yeah?”
“Yeah.”
His thumb swept her cheek but his eyes didn’t leave hers and then she dropped her head and rested her cheek to his chest, her arm wrapping around him.