Goddess of the Rose (Goddess Summoning #4)(61)

His hand was resting on the table near the open map. The Empousa reached out and put hers on top of his. He looked down at her hand.

"I don't see an abomination when I look at you," Mikki told him.

"Perhaps you should look deeper. There is still a beast within me."

"I'd like to believe in the man, if you'll let me, Asterius."

"The man . . ." His words were barely audible. He looked from her hand into her eyes. "The man hears you, Mikado, even if it seems your voice is speaking from his dreams."

"Maybe I am." She smiled softly. "You and I have been in each other's dreams before."

He turned her hand over in his and let his thumb trace the delicate lifeline that bisected her palm, following it until it met the pulse point at her wrist. Then, with a caress softer than the brush of a butterfly's wings, he smoothed his thumb in sensuous circles over her pulse.

"I can feel the beat of your heart," he murmured.

"Can you feel that it's beating faster?"

He lifted his eyes to hers. "I can." Her face was so close to his that he could feel the warmth of her breath on his skin. Her eyes had gone soft and her lips were parted. He wanted to taste her! He wanted to drink her in and lose himself in her sweetness. With a low growl he bent his head, replacing his thumb with his lips. He could feel her life's blood pulsing, and he tasted the salt of her skin. She shivered under his touch, and he let his lips move to the delicate indentation of her elbow. Then he lifted his head. Her breathing had deepened, and she was staring at him with wide, liquid eyes. Before reason and common sense could make him change his mind, he leaned forward and touched his lips to hers. She made a little gasping sound that seemed to call to his soul, and he deepened the kiss.

Pain lanced through his body. His blood had turned to white-hot lava, and it pounded with ferocious intensity within him. For a moment he was so disoriented that his claws automatically shot from his skin and he bared his teeth in a snarl, ready for the stealthy enemy that had attacked him. Then he understood. Hecate's spell!

The Empousa did not love him; therefore, her passion would not be allowed.

He raised tortured eyes to hers. Mikado looked pale and shocked, and she had scooted back in her chair as far away from him as she could get.

Abruptly, he stood, knocking over his chair and causing the little table to rock dangerously. "This was unwise. I should not be here with you."

"What's wrong? What's happened? You look like you're in terrible pain."

She reached one hand hesitantly toward him, but he lurched away from her, not able to bear her gesture of kindness.

"You must not touch me!"

"Okay!" She dropped her hand shakily to her side. "I won't touch you. Just sit down and tell me what's going on."

"No." He took another step back. "I should have obeyed your command to create the map, delivered it to you, and returned to my lair."

"I didn't command you to make the map. I asked you to, just like I asked you to have dinner with me. You didn't do anything wrong - we didn't do anything wrong," she said, looking utterly confused by his sudden change.

"That is where you are mistaken. You did nothing wrong, but I did. Today I began to twist the threads of reality into a waking dream, something that, even in this realm of dreams and magick, is as impossible as it is dangerous. This cannot happen again."

The Guardian flung himself from the balcony. With the agility of a beast and the power of a god, he distanced himself from her, and as he did the pain in his body subsided, leaving him exhausted and empty.

So this was what his life had come to. This was what it was to be. He was a man within a beast, tethered by a goddess. He was to know desire but not surcease. Like Tantalus, he was to live in torment - his relief in sight, but unattainable. Asterius stumbled to a halt, threw back his head and roared his agony to the deaf heavens.

Chapter Twenty-One

MIKKI woke up with a headache and puffy, red eyes. Yawning and stretching, she walked to the wall of windows and opened the door. The sun was just starting to peek over the horizon, and the morning was so cool she could see her breath. Someone had already cleared away all the dishes from dinner. It made Mikki sad, as if the night before, the good along with the bad, had been wiped away without a trace. She walked over to the chair in which he had sat, her fingers lingering on the back of it.

Asterius . . .

He'd never be just the Guardian to her again, not after what he'd told her last night, and not after what she'd seen in his eyes - a soul-deep loneliness, and, for just a moment, a longing that struck an answering cord within her.

But it didn't matter that he'd given her a glimpse of his soul. Nothing could come of it. And not just because of the obvious - that he was a beast, or, more accurately, he was a creature, a mixture of mortal and god, a being like no other, as he had explained last night. Asterius . . . No. It wasn't because of the obvious; the obvious mattered less and less to her. If she was honest with herself, she'd have to admit that, even back in Tulsa when he'd first begun to seduce her in her dreams, his appearance hadn't been a deterrent. The truth was quite the opposite. His appearance had been a fascination from the beginning.

It was impossible between them because he was making it that way. It was as if there was some kind of unwritten rule that no one was allowed to get close to him. He'd touched her - kissed her - clearly desired her. Yet he'd run from her as if she was the one who was dangerous. His behavior was confusing and just plain annoying.