Goddess of the Rose (Goddess Summoning #4)(103)

"He thought he loved you," Mikki said woodenly.

Sevillana finally met her eyes, and Mikki could see the surprise there. "That is the one thing he said - that he loved me. But it made no sense. How could a beast love a woman?"

"He is not a beast!" Mikki hissed under her breath, anger making her face pale. "And you're not good enough for his love if you couldn't see the man within him."

"You love him!"

"I do."

Sevillana stared at Mikki for a long time without speaking and then she bowed her head slightly to the younger woman. "Forgive me for speaking so cavalierly. I was a young girl then. I have come to understand since that I was wrong about many things, this, then, is simply one last lesson for me. You have my admiration, Mikado, as well as my respect. I have never known such courage as yours."

Mikki took several deep, calming breaths. There was absolutely no point in getting so pissed off at the old woman. What she'd done had happened two centuries ago. It was over. Finished. And she didn't want to alienate her. Sevillana Kalyca Empousai was her ticket back to Asterius.

"I forgive you. I think Asterius does, too. And what I did wasn't that courageous. I didn't have any choice. Asterius had gotten rid of the Dream Stealers, but it was too late. They'd already poisoned the roses - all of them except the ones I'd bled on. I tried to stop the blight another way, but nothing worked. I knew it wouldn't. The only way to save the roses was by my blood."

"And you do not think it courageous that you went to your lover and allowed him to sacrifice you? It was not even Beltane, yet you met your destiny early and saved the realm."

Mikki frowned. "Asterius didn't sacrifice me. He didn't even know what I'd planned. I knew he'd try to stop me, so I snuck out. And what's this you keep saying about Beltane? That's in the spring, right? What does that have to do with anything?"

"You truly do not know?"

"No!" she said, exasperated and thoroughly sick of mysteries.

"They must have been afraid to tell you. Afraid that you, too, would leave them. Mikado, the Empousa serves one true purpose. She is there for the roses."

"Yes, yes, yes! I know that."

"You also know that Hecate's Empousa is bound to the roses through her blood. What you do not know is that every Beltane night the Empousa is sacrificed by the Guardian, because her blood insures that the realm thrives for another year."

Mikki felt everything within her go very still. "They were going to kill me?"

"Not they. He was. It is the Guardian's duty to protect the roses."

It all made horrible sense. Asterius's behavior when they first met and were attracted to each other . . . how he had said they could not be together . . . how he had struggled against loving her. It had been more than disbelief that she could ever see him as a man - more than the rejection of Sevillana. He'd known he would have to kill her.

The thought made her physically ill.

Sevillana's warm hand on her cold, numb one was a physical shock.

"He had no choice."

"And Hecate, she meant all along for me to die," Mikki said.

"Life and death is different for the gods. Hecate is stern and powerful, but she is also a loving goddess. She would see your sacrifice as just another link in the great circle of life. The goddess would not forsake you, Mikado, even in death. Had you met your destiny at Beltane, Hecate would have made sure you spent eternity in the endless beauty of the Elysian Fields. The goddess cares for those who belong to her; she only turns away from those who betray her."

"It's a hard concept for my mind to grasp. Everyone I cared about, everyone I loved, they all knew I was going to die." She paused as the enormity of it hit her. "So even if you could help me figure out a way to get back, I'd just be returning to die again."

"Yes. Do you still wish to return?"

Chapter Thirty-Six

DID she still want to return? It was already the end of February. Wasn't Beltane the same day as May first? So she'd have a couple months and then Asterius would kill her.

The thought was impossible to believe. Yet even in the middle of her disbelief, intuition told her Sevillana was speaking the truth. It all fit, and she suddenly felt like the piece outside the jigsaw puzzle. She knew where she belonged, and it wasn't in Tulsa, Oklahoma.

"I want to go back, but I don't know if I'm brave enough."

"Listen to your instincts, Mikado. Trust what they tell you."

"They tell me that I don't belong here."

"Then perhaps you should return home," Sevillana said.

"Do you know how to get me there?"

"I can give you the anointing oil, but the rest you already hold within you. You sacrificed yourself for the Realm of the Rose, and you were selfless enough to love its Guardian. You were, my dear, the exact opposite of the realm's last Empousa. I believe Hecate will hear your call, and honor it."

"But how - " Mikki stopped herself. She knew what she must do. She had to listen to her intuition and follow her instincts. She glanced at Sevillana, who nodded approval at her introspection. Calm down and think. I'm Hecate's Empousa. There has to be a way for me to return. Suddenly Mikki smiled. "That's it! I'm still Empousa. Hecate said I carry her power - that can't have completely gone away, not even here. I mean, look at you! You've lived two hundred years, and you walked away from the goddess."