Goddess of Love (Goddess Summoning #5)(59)

Pea had stayed silent until then, but she blurted, "You thought he stood you up! That's why you looked so strange and sad when I found you outside."

Venus opened her mouth to assure Pea that it hadn't been that big of a deal. The Goddess of Love is, after all, always in control, always fine. But before she could say the words she realized how false they were, and she realized something else. She wanted to talk to Pea about all of this - she needed to talk to Pea because the mortal had truly become her friend.

"I've never been stood up before, and I - I didn't know what to do or how to act," the goddess admitted. "I just sat there and hurt. I should have told you what happened, but I didn't even know how to say it. Then when you told me about the other man I thought that if I could just get them together, you'd see how much better your new guy was than Griffin, and even then if you didn't see what a cad Griffin was, I give you my word, I wouldn't have let him use you and hurt you."

"Like you thought he used and hurt you," Pea said.

"Yes, like that."

"It feels awful, doesn't it, to think you've been rejected and lied to, especially by someone you care about?" Pea said quietly.

Venus couldn't find her voice; she only nodded and wiped fresh tears from her face with the tissue Pea handed her.

"You do care about Griffin, don't you?" Pea said.

"Yes, I do," Venus managed to choke out. "But not as much as I care about you. If it hurts you, I won't ever see him again. I give you my solemn oath."

Pea smiled at her friend, and Venus was relieved beyond words to see the love and trust return to her eyes. "You know, you were right about Griffin."

"He's a terrible cad?" Venus sniffled.

Pea laughed. "Well, maybe. But I was talking about what you said about him yesterday - or really what you said about how I felt about him. It wasn't Griffin I wanted. It was what he represented to me: the perfect man I could never find, never have as my own."

"You're wrong about that. You can find the man who will be perfect for you, and you can make him yours."

Pea's smile was more than a little naughty. "Oh, I know that."

"I think it's your turn to talk now. I want to hear about Victor."

"I want to tell you about him, but first I think I'm going to knock off for the rest of the day. You and I have dates to get ready for." Pea grabbed her purse and stood up, looking questioningly at the goddess when she didn't move.

"Do you forgive me, Dorreth?" Venus asked solemnly.

"Of course I do, Goddess. That's what friends do, forgive each other's mistakes."

Venus studied Pea with newfound respect. "Thank you, Dorreth Pea Chamberlain. You are a truly good person."

Pea flushed and grinned. "I like to look on the positive side of life."

"An excellent attitude to practice."

"Yeah, I got it from Oprah. As she would say, being strong and positive is one way of being a powerful, modern woman."

"Oprah?"

"Think of her as a sister goddess."

"Really? A modern woman who's a sister goddess? I want to hear all about her, too," Venus said, as she stood and linked arms with Pea.

"So little time...so many goddesses..." Pea laughed as the two of them went arm in arm from her office.

"You know, there's really no reason for you to be so nervous," Pea told Venus for the zillionth time.

"Of course there is. I've never been on a date."

Pea giggled. "Do you know how unbelievable that is? I mean, you're the Goddess of Love!"

Venus frowned severely at Pea. "Of course I am. What does that have to do with this?"

"How is it that you've never been on a date before? You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Men must fall all over you."

Venus's expression lightened. "Thank you, darling. And of course men fall all over me."

"Then why no date until now?"

Venus sighed and joined Pea sitting on the end of her bed. "It's different with the immortals. We don't date. We have delicious passion-filled torrid affairs. Unions that blaze across the heavens and cause wars to be fought and civilizations to thrive."

"Jeesh, then why bother with Griffin at all?"

"Because he treated me like a mortal woman. He seduced me. And not because I'm the Goddess of Love, but because he desired the woman he believed me to be." Venus's voice was so faint Pea leaned closer to hear her. "Until that night at Lola's, I've always been in control. If I want a god - he succumbs to me. If I desire the attentions of a mortal - he gratefully worships me. I've always been the seducer, never the seduced. I've always been so in control that I even decided on a marriage of convenience."

"You're married!"

Venus nodded her head but shrugged her shoulders. "In name only. He's not physically perfect, so he's an outcast in Olympus. He thought by marrying me he could gain acceptance. I thought by marrying him I could gain..." She paused. She was getting ready to say her normal line - that by marrying Vulcan she thought she'd gain a shield to retreat behind. That even Love grew weary and looked for a quiet place to rest, and stoic, outcast Vulcan and his fiery realm could provide her with that. But recently she'd begun questioning her motives in marrying Vulcan. Aloud she heard herself admitting, "No. That's not true. I pretended that I needed him for one thing, while I was really using him as an excuse. I hid behind the marriage so that I didn't have to look at the emptiness in my own life." She smiled sadly at Pea, violet eyes brimming with tears. By the Titans' enormous manhoods, she hadn't cried so much in centuries. "Ridiculous, isn't it?" Venus said miserably. "That Love could be lonely."