Goddess of Light (Goddess Summoning #3)(73)

"I don't know the rules. I don't know how to love a god." Reluctantly, she met his eyes. "The truth is it was different when I thought you were just Phoebus."

"I am Phoebus, Pamela."

"No you're not! My God, Apollo - " she broke off, pressing her lips together. "See! I can't even say normal things around you anymore. My God... you are a god! I don't know what to say... what to do..." She rubbed her forehead. The musicians began playing a waltz, which only increased the surreal feel of the night. It was like Apollo had conspired to add a soundtrack to their conversation. "I don't want to be in love," she said softly. "I didn't want to before I knew about you, and now it just seems too much - too impossible."

He shook his head. "No, it's not impossible. It's just that the way you found out was wrong. I should have told you sooner, made it easier for you to accept."

"How could it be easier? You are an ancient god, and I am just a mortal woman. We weren't meant to be together." Saying the words that had been haunting her all day made her stomach feel sick.

"I fulfilled your heart's desire." He spoke in a low, tight voice.

"Of course you did! It's not that I don't desire you. I do. You're perfect. I asked for romance, and you are most definitely a romantic dream come true." She wanted to shut up, to stop the words that vomited from her mouth, but she couldn't. She was afraid if she did, she would throw herself into his arms and want to stay there forever. And then what would become of her? What would happen to her heart when he left her world and returned to his own?

He grimaced and shook his head. "I am more than a romantic dream, and you asked for more than a dalliance with a god."

"Apollo, I know what I asked for," she said tightly.

"Do you really? Then perhaps you would be interested to know that the invocation bond between you and my sister did not break until you admitted last night that I am your soul mate."

"Your soul mate..." She whispered the words, shaking her head. "No!" He couldn't be. If he was her soul mate, how would she survive without him?

All expression left his handsome face. "Perhaps I have been lucky all these eons not to have known love. I am discovering it is a painful emotion." He bowed formally to her, turned on his heels and walked away.

But instead of making it through the doors and back to his room as he had intended, he almost ran over his sister and Eddie as they surged out onto the patio, followed closely by the ever-present James.

"Good! Good! You're here already," Eddie said, clapping Apollo on the shoulders. Then he caught sight of Pamela. "Excellent! We are all here. James, you may tell them to begin the feast. Come, my goddess. The fare here may be simple, but I promise that you will not be disappointed by its quality."

"Eddie, I want more of that lovely champagne."

"Of course, of course," he murmured, helping her into one of the chairs.

Pamela watched the big man cluck and fuss over the goddess like a gihugic hen. Apollo was standing across the table from the two of them. She could feel his gaze on her. She blinked away the tears that had been pooling in her eyes, squared her shoulders, plastered a professionally cordial smile on her face and joined the small group at the table. Eddie, of course, insisted she sit next to "Phoebus." Thankfully, as soon as her butt touched the chair, a swarm of waiters converged upon the table.

Eddie had described the dinner fare as "simple," which made Pamela wonder what he considered extravagant. The food wasn't served in courses, as one might expect from an expensive catered meal in the middle of an exclusive resort; instead, Eddie ordered that everything come out at once. It was like a food explosion. The salads of wild field greens, exotic fresh mushrooms and ripe bursts of tiny tomatoes had been fashioned to look like miniature bird's nests. The bowtie pasta was divine and smelled of fresh garlic and white wine. Thick salmon steaks had been grilled to perfection, as had long slices of halved zucchini squash covered in melted provolone cheese and sprinkled with cracked pepper and sea salt. Throughout the entire meal, attentive waiters poured glasses of icy champagne.

Everything was delicious, and Pamela felt herself relaxing as Eddie and Apollo chatted easily about the daily bathing traditions of ancient Rome. Actually, Pamela was intrigued by the living details Apollo was divulging about a world considered long dead.

"So bathing really became a social activity," Eddie said through bites of salmon.

Apollo nodded. "Do not think of it as simply something done to cleanse one self. The Roman baths were much more than that. In the same bathing complex it was not uncommon for there to be exercise areas, masseurs, barbers, restaurants, shops and libraries. It was a place of camaraderie; a life vein into the happenings of the city. There were private rooms set aside in which matters were discussed that should not be made public. Some say that even the gods themselves frequented the bathhouses of Rome to listen in to the intrigue of the day."

"Ha! Might the plot to kill Caesar not have started in one of Rome's baths?" Eddie said.

Artemis scoffed. "Caesar! Proclaiming himself a god was only one of his many mistakes. He should have listened to his wife. Calpurnia warned him. Too often Rome did not listen to the voices of its women," she finished fiercely.

Eddie's eyes widened. "I have it, my lovely! I have been pondering it since this morning when first we met. Something was off - not precisely right - and now I understand what it is. You are not Diana at all, but now I recognize your true nature."