Goddess of Light (Goddess Summoning #3)(50)

"No, Pamela! Please don't - " Phoebus sputtered.

She barely glanced at him. "I've spent too much time playing this weekend as it is. Good-bye, Phoebus."

Artemis was shocked. The mortal was actually walking away from her brother. Through their invisible connection the goddess could feel much of what was going on inside of the woman. She was... Artemis concentrated, sifting through the emotions pouring through the bond that linked them. Pamela was very upset. And embarrassed. And hurt. She was certain that Apollo had used her. The mortal was breaking into little pieces on the inside, but on the outside she was showing only cool annoyance. Had Artemis not been linked to her, she would never have guessed the turmoil taking place within the mortal woman. How odd. Could this woman's hidden strength have something to do with why the invocation had yet to be fulfilled? Could it be that this young mortal saw through their charade? Diana looked at her with new respect. Apollo had been right about one thing. Pamela certainly was not a simple, silly woman.

"Pamela, my brother is correct. I am being insufferably rude."

Diana's voice stopped Pamela's retreat. She looked at her lover's sister, who smiled at her. Pamela suddenly saw Phoebus' dazzling good looks reflected on her beautiful face.

"I have been experiencing some" - she hesitated and glanced at her brother before continuing - "difficulties of a personal nature of late. I haven't been myself. Please believe me that the last thing I desire is to drive you from my brother."

Pamela met Diana's aquamarine eyes. "Whether I go now or later really doesn't make that much difference, does it? You just said you're leaving in the morning."

"But not forever!" Apollo said hastily, moving to Pamela's side and taking her hand. "You can not believe that I would walk away from you and never return."

Pamela pulled her hand from his grasp. She shook her head and even managed to smile.

"Look, we had fun. Let's leave it at that. You don't need to make a big thing out of it."

Artemis stared at her brother's shocked face. Why didn't he say something? The mortal was leaving him! She obviously didn't want to - not only could Artemis feel Pamela's pain screaming within her own head, but it was apparent in the stiff, mechanical way she held herself. Pamela was hurt and upset. She wanted comfort, not speechless ineptitude.

Apollo, however, was being silently inept.

"We did not mean to offend you," Artemis quickly said. "This is just a misunderstanding. Please. Don't go away upset."

"I'm not upset," Pamela responded.

"I would be." Apollo finally found his voice. This time he didn't touch her. He stood very still and tried to convey everything he was feeling through his words. "I would be upset and angry if I thought that you were planning to leave me before dawn, and you hadn't told me. I should have told you. I meant to. But you must understand, my sweet Pamela, that I knew I would be returning, so to taint our day together by telling you that I must leave soon seemed a cruel thing to do. I can see now that I was wrong. Can you forgive me?"

She should tell him that it was no big deal. She should say that she didn't expect any damn thing from him. And keep walking. She could call V and they'd have a great girlfriend talk about how men are shitheads. Then tomorrow she'd go back to work and forget about him. She'd just slept with him; it wasn't like she'd married him or anything too crazy like that.

But those eyes caught her. Again. She could swear that she saw an echo of herself there, deep within them. He had that same "somethin's missin"' about him, and he'd touched her - body, heart and soul. If Duane had embalmed her, Phoebus had brought her alive again. She didn't want to go back to her tomb of complacency, and she knew herself well enough that she understood that this weekend had been a turning point. Pamela wouldn't go back to being satisfied with the safety of her life. She'd get out there; she'd flirt and take more chances - with or without Phoebus. But everything within her was screaming that she wanted to take those chances with him.

"Okay," she said, biting the word off. "I forgive you." And then crossed her arms and waited. The ball was in his court. Surprisingly, it was his sister who fielded and returned it.

"My brother and I must speak. It is a family matter, and I - "

"Not a problem," Pamela snapped. "I'm out of here."

"Pamela, is it correct that you have a brother, too?" Artemis' gaze was calculating.

Caught again in the motion of turning away, Pamela nodded tightly.

"Then you understand that sometimes family problems can overrule our individual desires. We are needed at home. Please do not judge my brother harshly because of that."

Pamela answered her with equal candor. "I'm not judging your brother harshly; I'm protecting myself."

"You do not need protection from me," Apollo said. Unable to stop himself from touching her, he brushed her long, bare neck with his fingertips. When she shivered, he was unsure whether it was because she desired or rejected him. "Meet me tonight. Let me see you again before I must leave. You have my oath that I will return."

She shouldn't. He made her feel too much. Pamela opened her mouth to tell him no, and then she thought about the night without him. It would be like the morning sky without sunlight - bleak... empty... like her life had become. She wouldn't go back to that, even if it meant taking a chance on getting her heart broken. At least now she knew that her heart was working again.