Gabriel's Rapture (Gabriel's Inferno #2)(39)

“Of course! What do you take me for?” His eyes flamed a dangerous blue.

“Were you surprised?”

A muscle jumped in his jaw. “No.”

Julia closed her hands so tightly her nails dug into her palms. “Why?”

Gabriel glanced at the trees behind her, unwilling to answer her question.

“Why weren’t you surprised?” she repeated, her voice growing louder.

“Because this is what she does.”

“Does or did?”

“What’s the difference?” he snapped.

Julia’s eyes narrowed. “If I have to explain it to you, then we are more damaged than I thought.”

He didn’t want to answer her. His recalcitrance was telegraphed by his eyes, his face, even his body.

She gave him a piercing stare.

Gabriel’s eyes flickered over her shoulder, into the distance, almost as if he were looking for an escape. Then he looked at her again.

“She’d show up on occasion and we’d…” His voice trailed off.

Julia felt ill. She screwed her eyes shut. “When I asked if Paulina was your mistress, you said no.”

“She was never my mistress.”

Julia’s eyes flew open. “Don’t play word games with me! Especially about your f**k buddies.”

He ground his teeth together. “That’s beneath you, Julianne.”

She laughed without amusement. “Oh, yes. It’s beneath me to tell the truth. But you can lie through your teeth!”

“I never lied to you about Paulina.”

“Yes, you did. No wonder you were so angry when I called her your f**k buddy in the Dante seminar. I was right.” Julia gave him a shattered look. “Were you with her in your bed? In the bed we slept in together?”

Gabriel lowered his eyes.

She began to back away from him. “I am so angry with you right now, I don’t know what to say.”

“I’m sorry.”

“That isn’t good enough,” she called, walking away from him. “When was the last time you slept with her?”

He followed her quickly, reaching out to grasp her arm.

“Don’t touch me!” She pulled back, stumbling over a tree root.

Gabriel caught her before she fell. “Just wait a minute, okay? Give me a chance to explain.” Satisfied that she was on surer footing, he released her.

“When I met you in September, things with Paulina had ended. I hadn’t been with her since last December, when I told her that we needed to stop once and for all.”

“You led me to believe that you ended things with her at Harvard. Do you have any idea how much this hurts? Do you have any idea how stupid this makes me feel? She traipses into your parents’ house as if she belongs there—as if I’m the f**k buddy. And no wonder! You’ve been sleeping with her for years.”

Gabriel shifted his shoes in the snow. “I was trying to protect you.”

“Tread very carefully, Gabriel. Tread very, very carefully.”

He froze. He’d never heard her use that tone before. All at once, he felt himself losing her. The mere idea was crippling.

He began speaking very quickly. “We only saw each other once or twice a year. As I said, I haven’t been with her since last December.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “Did you expect me to catalogue each and every sexual encounter I’ve ever had? I told you I had a past.”

Gabriel’s eyes met hers. He held her gaze, taking a tenuous step forward.

“Do you remember the night I told you about Maia?”

“Yes.”

“You told me I could find forgiveness. I wanted to believe you. I thought if I told you how I gave in to Paulina again and again, I’d lose you.” He cleared his throat. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“Are you lying to me now?”

“No.”

Her expression was skeptical. “Do you love her?”

“Of course not.” He took another cautious step in her direction, but she held her hand up.

“So you slept with her for years—after you made a child with her and she had a nervous breakdown—but you didn’t love her?”

His lips thinned. “No.”

He saw tears shimmering in her big, dark eyes and watched as she fought them, her pretty face marred with sadness. He closed the distance between them, removing his suit jacket and tenderly placing it around her shoulders.

“You’ll catch pneumonia. You should go back to the house.”

She clutched his jacket, bringing the lapels up to her neck.

“She was Maia’s mother,” Julia whispered. “And look how you treated her.”

Gabriel stiffened. Maia’s mother.

Julia and Gabriel stood silently, noticing briefly that the snow had ceased falling.

“When were you going to tell me?”

Gabriel hesitated, his heart beating a furious tattoo in his chest. He wasn’t entirely sure what he would say until the words escaped his lips.

“I wasn’t.”

She turned around and began to walk in the direction she thought would lead back to the house.

“Julia, wait!” He came after her, tugging at her arm.

“I told you not to touch me!” She pulled her arm back, glaring at him furiously.