Gabriel's Inferno (Gabriel's Inferno #1)(62)
Her thoughts drifted to Gabriel and Paulina or some nameless, faceless girl, skin against skin, their bodies entwined. She saw Gabriel kissing the girl’s lips and exploring her body with his mouth, his hands, his eyes.
She saw Gabriel giving and receiving physical pleasure from some tall, perfect, blonde. She imagined Gabriel in ecstasy, screaming the girl’s name, gazing deeply into her eyes as his body climaxed. She thought of Gabriel becoming one with some other soul, belonging in this way to some other girl. Would she love Gabriel? Be kind to Gabriel? Would she want him to be a better man, or just want him for his body, his passion, his animalistic nature? Would she even care that behind those beautiful eyes was the soul of a man long gone, wounded now and in need of both redemption and repair? Or would she want to drag him deeper down, ensnaring him with her body and her fingernails?
The thought of Gabriel taking another girl, any girl, to his bed, perchance to his soul, wounded her deeply. But somehow, the thought that there was another girl who warmed his bed for more than just one night was absolutely devastating — because she had wanted to be his girl, forever.
However sad and sordid her imaginings were, they didn’t stop her from somewhat pathetically wearing his green cashmere sweater to the library and hugging her arms across her chest, just to embrace herself with his softness and his scent. For that seemed to be the closest she was ever going to come to having his body next to hers.
In Professor Emerson’s carrel, Julia put away Paul’s cd in favor of listening to Yael Naim. Julia loved the song Far Far, although she had no idea how apt Yael’s words were. Julia had spent most of her life waiting for good things to happen, keeping her hopes and dreams to herself. But soon there would come a day when she would have to make something happen.
She found the music soothing and distracting, and it enabled her to make a lot of progress on her thesis proposal as she worked away until the library’s close.
Leaving the library, she placed her earphones firmly in her ears and disdained the hot dog cart outside in favor of a liquid dinner. She purchased a very large mango smoothie and began to walk home, sipping her meal and thinking. Because she was deep in thought, wondering where Gabriel was and what he was doing, she almost missed Ethan, who waved at her as she came across the long line-up in front of Lobby.
“Hey, Ethan.” She smiled as she took the ear buds out of her ears.
He gestured to her to come closer. “Hi, Julia. Thanks again for helping with my text to Raphaela. She really liked it.” If Ethan could have blushed, he would have; his dark eyes sparkled, and he smiled widely. “She’s teaching me Italian now.”
Julia grinned, happy that he and his girlfriend were happy. “So, how are things tonight? Lots of people?” She glanced at the long line.
“I’m about to let some more people in, but I have to take someone out first.”
“Really? That sounds ominous.”
He shook his head. “Your friend is in there drinking his ass off. The bartender is refusing to serve him, which means I need to put him in a cab and send him home.”
Julia’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. Gabriel’s here? What about Paulina?
“The last time I tried to throw him out he took a swing at me. Right now, I’m just waiting for one of the other bouncers to replace me on the line. I’m going to have to go in to remove him and probably take back-up.”
He looked at Julia appraisingly. “Unless you can persuade him to come out peaceably.”
Julia shook her head violently. “Are you kidding? He won’t listen to me. I’m not even his friend.”
“That’s not the impression I got when you were in here, but I get it.
It’s cool.” He shrugged nonchalantly and looked at his watch.
Julia sipped her smoothie and began thinking about her promise to Rachel. She wondered if this constituted a case in which she was morally obligated to watch out for Gabriel. What if I walk away and he ends up in jail?
He tried to be nice to me this week. I can’t ignore that — it would be bad karma.
“Um, I could try to talk to him. See if he’ll come out on his own,” she suggested somewhat hesitantly. “I don’t want him to get arrested.”
“Neither do I. We like our vips to stay happy. But he has been throwing back doubles since he got here, and they can’t serve him anymore. Maybe he’ll listen to the voice of reason and agree to go home and sleep it off.”
Ethan moved the velvet rope so that she could walk in.
“I’m not really dressed for it.” Julia looked down at her sneakers and ripped jeans and Gabriel’s heavenly scented but too large sweater.
“You’re fine. But listen, if he’s too far gone, or if you’re just not up to it, come right back. He can be a handful when he’s drunk.”
Julia knew exactly what Gabriel could be like when he was drunk, but she reminded herself that he had been sweet to her that night so long ago.
She walked into the club, hoping no one would recognize her. She quickly pulled her hair out of its ponytail and draped it around her face, using it as a veil to hide from inquisitive eyes. She prayed desperately to the gods of Manhattan-style martini bars to keep Brad Curtis, mba, away from her tonight. She didn’t want to run into him looking like this. She pulled her navy-surplus peacoat closed and buttoned all the buttons, because she didn’t want Gabriel to see that she was wearing his sweater — still.