Gabriel's Inferno (Gabriel's Inferno #1)(54)

He sighed and hung his head. He wasn’t foregoing a night of pleasure with her out of hatred but out of love — for the goodness he craved and wished his life had been. And perhaps out of love for the memory of his former self, before all the sin and vice took root and grew, like a patch of thorns turning and twisting and choking out his virtues. Gabriel’s hand left the doorknob, and he drew in a very deep breath. He straightened his shoulders and closed his eyes, wondering what he would say to her.

He slowly turned around and saw Miss Mitchell groan slightly and stretch. Her eyelids fluttered, and she stifled a yawn with the fan of her hand.

But her eyes flew open when she saw Professor Emerson standing by the door. Startled, she let out a yelp and flew backward out of her chair and against the wall. She cowered in confusion, and it almost broke Gabriel’s heart. (Which would have at least proven that he had one.)

“Ssssshhhhh. Julianne, it’s just me.” He held his hands aloft in complete surrender. He tried to smile disarmingly.

Julia was stunned. She’d been dreaming of him moments before. And now he was here. She rubbed her eyes. He was still there, staring. She pinched the skin on her arm between her fingers. He was still there.

Holy shit. He caught me.

“It’s just me, Julianne. Are you all right?”

She blinked rapidly and began rubbing her eyes again. “I…don’t know.”

“How long have you been here?” He lowered his hands.

“Um…I…don’t know.” She was trying to wake up and remember all at the same time.

“Is Paul with you?”

“No.”

Somehow, Gabriel felt relieved. “How did you get in? This is my carrel.”

Julia’s eyes flew to his, measuring his reaction. I am in so much trouble.

And so is Paul. Emerson will evict him now.

She moved forward rapidly, knocking the chair over in the process and tipping over a stack of books that had been resting near her hands. A ream of loose notebook paper was thrown aloft by the general upheaval and began falling about her like massive, pinstriped snowflakes. Gabriel thought that she looked like an angel — an angel in a child’s snow globe, with whiteness fluttering all around her.

Beautiful, he thought.

She began to scramble, trying to put everything back in order. She was repeating an apology over and over again like a decade of the Rosary, mumbling something about borrowing Paul’s key. She was sorry. So very, very sorry.

In one stride, Gabriel was next to her, his hand gently but firmly on her shoulder. “It’s all right. You are welcome to be here. Be still.”

Julia closed her eyes and willed herself and her heartbeat to slow. It was very difficult to do; she was so afraid he would lose his temper and banish Paul from his precious carrel. Forever.

Gabriel inhaled sharply, and her eyes flew open, glazing over at his touch.

He brought his head close to her face and peered down at her. “Julianne? You’ve gone pale. Are you unwell?”

He didn’t know what to do. Why was she acting so strangely? Perhaps she was weak from hunger or not quite awake. The room was very warm.

Too warm. She’d left the heater on. He caught her just as she swooned, wrapping her tightly and pulling her into his chest. She was not unconscious, at least, not yet.

“Julianne?” He pushed the hair out of her eyes and brushed the back of his hand across her cheek.

She murmured something, and he realized she hadn’t fainted, but was leaning against him as if she didn’t have the strength to stand. He held her to keep her from hitting the upturned chair or the floor.

“Are you okay?”

He began to move her so that she could sit down, but she clung to him, wrapping her arms about his neck without hesitation. He liked the feel of her pressed against him, so he hugged her tightly and leaned down to sniff her hair, somewhat surreptitiously. Vanilla. Her little body pressed against his perfectly, as if their shapes were ideal complements. It was astonishing.

“What happened?” she mumbled against his sweater, which was a brilliant green calculated to contrast with the blue of his eyes.

“I’m not sure. I think you grew light-headed because you stood up too quickly. And it’s hot in here.”

She smiled weakly, a smile that melted his heart.

Julia desperately wanted to kiss him. He was close. So very, very close.

Two inches and those lips would be hers…again. And his eyes were soft and warm…and he was being sweet with her…

He pulled back from her minutely, testing her to see if she was going to fall over. When she didn’t, he placed her gently on top of the desk before righting the chair. Then he withdrew to the door of the carrel and straightened his tie.

“I don’t mind if you use the carrel — not at all. I was just surprised to find you here. In fact, I’m glad Paul suggested you use it. There’s no problem.” He smiled to put her at ease, watching as she grasped the surface of the desk for support. “I was looking for a book Paul borrowed.” He held the volume aloft and turned to look at Julia again.

Moving slowly but carefully, she stood up and began to stack books on the desk and pick up the white sheets of paper that had drifted to the floor.

“Were you supposed to meet Paul tonight?”

“He’s gone to a graduate student conference at Princeton. He’s presenting a paper tomorrow.” She looked over at him cautiously, and when she saw that his head was cocked to one side and he was still smiling, she relaxed. Marginally.