Gabriel's Inferno (Gabriel's Inferno #1)(170)

When he withdrew, her eyes were closed. “Darling?”

Her eyelids fluttered open.

“In this bed, there’s only us. You and me. You are all that matters.” He smoothed his hand across the curve of her waist and down to her left hip, where he gripped her loosely. “If you want to go back to your room, I’ll walk you back. If you want to sleep alone, I’ll let you be. I just need you to tell me what you  want, and provided it’s within my power, I’ll give it to you. But please, darling, don’t ask me to take your virginity. Not tonight.”

She considered what he said and swallowed noisily. “I want to stay here. I don’t sleep very well without you.”

“I barely sleep at all without you. I’m glad the feeling is mutual.” He kissed her lips and began to skim his hand lightly over her thigh and back to the curve of her bottom. “You know that I care for you, don’t you?”

She nodded and touched his chest while he leaned forward, brushing his lips against her neck where the skin was unmarked.

“I’m sorry I did this.” Gabriel circled the fading love bite from the day before.

Julia looked into guilty eyes. “Don’t, Gabriel. That was different.”

“I need to be more careful with you.”

She sighed. “You are very careful with me.”

“Roll over, darling.”

Her eyes held a question, but she rolled onto her stomach and moved her head so that she could look at him, trusting him completely.

He kneeled beside her and gently brushed her hair aside. “Just relax.

I want you to feel as beautiful as you are.”

He began slowly, massaging her lightly with both hands, exploring every inch from head to toe. Then he stretched out by her feet and lifted them, paying special attention to her arches and her heels.

She moaned softly.

Gabriel chuckled. “Do you remember when you stayed with me after that disastrous seminar?”

Julia nodded, biting her lip.

His eyebrows knit together. “You were very suspicious of me. Of course, you were right to be suspicious, but even then I’d already decided that I…

You’re safe with me, love. I promise.”

When Gabriel finished with her feet he crawled back up her body, al owing his lips to explore where his hands had been, nuzzling, kissing, nipping.

Julia searched his eyes and saw deep affection reflected back at her, and as he sank down by her side, she kissed him deeply.

“Thank you, Gabriel,” she breathed.

He smiled in satisfaction, winding his fingers through her long hair.

It was in this space of peace and security that Julia realized her moment had come. They had already agreed that they would bare their souls before they bared their bodies. And there was a part of her that was weary of keeping secrets. Of keeping his  secrets.

Gabriel had shared parts of his past with her already. Why had she withheld herself from him? It was going to be painful to speak the words aloud, but perhaps it would be more painful to have this thing between them remain unexplained. She inhaled deeply and shut her eyes, and without introduction, she began.

“I met him at a party my freshman year…” She cleared her throat a few times and continued in a whisper. “He went to the University of Pennsylvania. I’d heard of his father before, but that’s not why I was interested in him. I liked him because he was funny and nice and we always had a good time together. That first Christmas, he showed up at my house to surprise me. He knew I liked Italian things, and so he bought me a candy-apple red Vespa. Julia red, he called it.”

Gabriel raised his eyebrows.

“Of course, my love for all things Italian came from you. But I’d given up hope that I’d ever see you again. I thought you didn’t care about me, and so I tried to move on. His parents approved of our relationship, and we were always being invited to Washington to visit them or to political events in Philadelphia. We dated casually for a few months, more like friends really, and then he told me he wanted more. I agreed.

“Things started to change after that. He wanted more of everything, and he became demanding.” Julia’s cheeks flushed deeply in the darkness.

Gabriel felt the temperature rise across her skin, and so he began to lightly rub her shoulders.

“He said that sex was his right as my boyfriend. When I said that I wasn’t ready, he called me frigid. That simply reinforced my determination to wait. I wasn’t really waiting for you, specifically, but I didn’t want to be pressured into it. I know that sounds juvenile.”

“Julianne, it’s far from juvenile to assert that you  should be the one to decide who you will and will not sleep with.”

She smiled at him thinly. “The more he pushed, the more I tried to compensate by giving into him in other ways. He was extremely possessive.

He didn’t like me hanging out with Rachel, probably because she didn’t like him. I did whatever I could to avoid conflict with him. And, um, he wasn’t always pleasant.”

She paused, trying to figure out how to say the next part.

“Did he hit you?” Gabriel forced himself to sound calm.

“Not really.”

“That is not an answer, Julianne. Did he hit you?”

She could feel Gabriel’s body begin to shake with anger. She wasn’t about to lie to him, but she was worried about what he would say when she told him. So she chose her next words very carefully. “He pushed me around a couple of times. Natalie, my roommate, had to pull him off of me once.”