Gabriel's Inferno (Gabriel's Inferno #1)(149)
Julia’s cheeks pinked up at that remark, but she smiled. “I’d like that.”
He pressed a light kiss to her forehead. She snuggled into his side and relaxed. He found himself peering down at her from time to time over the rims of his glasses.
He found it difficult to put into words how he felt when she was near him. How content he felt whenever she touched him, or when they were enjoying the simple pleasures of music or literature or food and wine. She inspired the strangest emotions and desires, such as wanting to read to her, to chastely share a bed with her, to lavish her with gifts both decadent and plain, to protect her from harm, and to ensure that she smiled daily.
Perhaps this is happiness, he thought. Perhaps this is almost what Richard and Grace had. The thought intrigued him.
You love her.
Gabriel started suddenly. Where had that voice come from? Had someone said it aloud? He looked around quickly, but the other first class passengers were either napping or otherwise engaged. No one was paying any attention to the nervous professor or the beauty who dozed next to him.
It’s too soon. It’s just not possible. I can’t love her. Gabriel shook his head at the voice, wherever it came from, and returned to his book more than a little disquieted.
After arriving in Philadelphia, Gabriel pulled his rented Jeep Grand Cherokee out of the airport’s parking garage.
“Which hotel did you choose?” Julia asked, staring out of the window into the darkness.
“The Four Seasons. Do you know it?”
“I know where it is, but I’ve never stayed there.”
“It’s very nice. You’ll like it.”
What Gabriel failed to mention was that he had booked a suite that had a panoramic view of Logan Circle. He also neglected to tell Julia that their room had a beautiful marble bathroom with an exquisite bathtub.
Julia noticed the bathtub before she noticed the view. Not to mention the complimentary fruit basket the manager always provided for his most important guests.
“Gabriel,” she breathed. “It’s beautiful. I’d love to take a bubble bath but…”
He smiled at her and gently took her elbow, leading her inside the bathroom.
“You will have complete privacy, and your companion will behave like a gentleman.” He paused and a wicked gleam came into his eyes. “Unless you need me to wash your back. In which case, you’ll have to blindfold me first.”
Julia grinned. “We could use one of your bow ties,” she whispered.
Gabriel’s mouth dropped open. Then she started laughing, and he realized that she was only teasing him. Minx.
As he watched her remove her purple robe and slippers from her suitcase, he quickly realized that there was no way he was going to be able to sit in the living room of the suite while Julianne took a bubble bath. It was a bit too King David for him. So he mumbled an excuse about finding a newspaper and went to the lobby. He decided against sitting at the bar, populated as it was by various hungry-looking women, and instead enjoyed a glass of wine and a sandwich while sitting in an arm chair in a quiet corner.
He picked up a copy of The Philadelphia Inquirer and spent the next hour dodging the aforementioned women, trying valiantly not to dwell on the beautiful body of the Bathsheba bathing upstairs.
By the time he returned, the scent of vanilla filled the room, and Julia was curled up like a cat on the bed. Her chest rose and fell in a gentle rhythm, her long dark hair spread out across the sage green duvet. She was still wearing her purple robe and her kitten heeled slippers.
Gabriel watched her sleep for a moment and felt a wave of emotion wash over him. As he tried to sort out his feelings, it occurred to him that the development of their relationship was not being held back solely by the university. It was being held back by him, by his secrets.
And also by hers.
He’d determined that he would not make love to her until he revealed everything. Although it pained him to think of it, he knew that it would be best if he waited until she did the same. That meant that Julianne would have to feel comfortable and safe enough to finally tell him what happened with Simon. Otherwise, he would only ever know part of her and not the whole. And they needed to know all of each other.
It was important to him that they not break the letter of the non-fraternization policy, even though they were breaking it in spirit. On top of that, although he’d fantasized about moving their physical relationship forward, the nature of Simon’s threats had put an end to those fantasies.
He knew based upon her receptivity that she would be willing to participate in manual or oral contact before the end of the semester. It would certainly stave off his cravings and satisfy some of his desires, temporarily.
But after hearing that Simon might have videotaped a particularly intimate encounter, there was no possibility of Gabriel persuading her to perform that act. He was determined to treat her gently and respectfully, and not speed things along for his own gratification. Although he would not have used this word, Gabriel craved intimacy along with sexual contact, and because of what he surmised had happened in Julia’s past, he was unwilling to allow anything other than sexual intercourse to be their first connection.
He knew that in making this decision, as in deciding not to make love to her without first revealing his secrets, he was making it less and less likely that such intimacy would ever occur. But he wanted more with her and not less, and certainly not just what her ex-boyfriend had taken from her, a fumble in the dark meant to mimic the true connection one found in sex. Fumbles which had always left Gabriel somehow wanting.