From This Moment On (The Sullivans #2)(50)

He would be so much happier without her.

And she’d eventually learn how to deal with being miserable without him.

Chapter Twenty

Marcus had a hell of a night. After driving back up to Napa after the concert, he’d sat on the porch and stared out into the darkness until the sun came up. There hadn’t been any point in trying to sleep, not when visions of Nicola were already haunting him.

All night long, he’d asked himself the same question: How could he fix the mistakes he’d made with her? Everything he’d done to hurt her, to push her away, to keep her at arm’s length, to guard his heart, came at him as the moon shifted to let the sun take its place.

That morning in Smith’s kitchen, when she’d asked him for another night and he’d hurt her by telling her no, that it had been a huge mistake to leave the club with her at all.

That night when he’d found out who she was, and had been not only angry with her for keeping her famous identity from him and making them use the private entrance, but he’d also decided both those things gave him license to selfishly force her body past the point of no return.

The way he’d made her work like hell the next morning for the extra time together, when a real man would have owned up to his feelings and saved her the pain of another possible rejection.

The pain in her eyes out on the beach when she’d yelled at him about her being stupid enough to be falling in love with him…and he didn’t have the guts to admit he was falling in love with her, too.

Marcus’s entire body was tight and tense as he made himself own up to each and every one of his mistakes.

For the first time in his life, the vines that stretched out over the hills held no beauty for him. Not after he’d held the most beautiful woman in the world in his arms...and had been too stupid to realize he needed to do anything and everything in his power to convince her to let him love her the way she should be loved.

Thank God Nicola’s bodyguard hadn’t let him in last night, had firmly told him, “Sorry, man, she’s busy. You’re not getting in to see her.” Marcus hadn’t been rational and would definitely have made things worse.

Unfortunately, after a long night of thinking, he still hadn’t come up with a plan that had any chance of working. He knew he couldn’t heal what was broken between them with flowers or jewelry.

He didn’t have the will to do more than put on clean jeans and a T-shirt for his mother’s Sunday lunch, even though he knew someone was bound to comment on the fact that he clearly wasn’t at the top of his game. That was the thing about family—they were always there with you to celebrate the good stuff…and to point out when you were screwing up. If Lori knew what had gone down with Nicola, she would kick his ass so hard he’d feel the imprint of her foot for the next decade.

He opened his mother’s front door and walked inside. Smith was walking through the room with a couple of beers in his hand. “Hey, you look like shit.”

“Nice to see you, too.” Marcus replied. The closest in age of all the siblings, the two of them had spent plenty of time talking with their fists as kids. “Didn’t know you’d be in town.”

Smith handed him a beer. “We have to reshoot a couple of city scenes this week. Figured I’d get here a day early and see everyone.” He raised an eyebrow. “Was pretty surprised by your text earlier this week. So, Jill’s not in the picture anymore, I take it? Otherwise, you wouldn’t be needing my place.”

“Right, she’s gone.”

Smith grinned. “Good.” His grin widened. “So tell me about the new girl. After two years with the ice queen, I hope her replacement was seriously hot. Just as long as you changed the sheets when you were done.”

There was no reason for Marcus to want to knock a couple of Smith’s teeth out of his movie-star face. His brother couldn’t know he was inadvertently slamming Nicola.

“There were no sheets to change,” was all he was going to say about it.

Before his brother came at him with more questions, he headed for the backyard, where in good weather the large table was always set up for brunch. Smith’s voice came at him again before he could make it to the French doors.

“We’ve got a special guest outside. Lori said you’ve already met Nico. Gorgeous girl, isn’t she?”

Holy hell. The beer bottle slipped in Marcus’s grip and he had to fumble to keep from dropping it.

Marcus was torn between walking over to the table where Nicola was surrounded by his siblings and dragging her off to lock her in the nearest bedroom to do whatever it took to make her listen to him—or turning on his heel and getting the hell out of there.

He knew he needed to see her again, knew he needed to get down on his knees before her and grovel...but could he do those things in front of his entire family?

Marcus hadn’t made it any further than the threshold between the living room and the patio when his mother made a beeline for him.

Her arms were warm as she hugged him and her voice was soft as she said, “She’s lovely.”

He didn’t have time to school his expression into anything but surprise.

His mother’s smile was soft and understanding. “I’m glad to be able to have more than a few minutes to talk with Nicola today. That impromptu phone call the other night was much too short for me to get to know her.”