Four Seconds to Lose (Ten Tiny Breaths #3)(67)

I was so close to driving us back to my condo.

So. Very. Close.

My uncomfortable erection reminds me of what I could be doing now, had I made a left turn instead of going straight.

But I can’t. Not yet.

Not if I want to do this right. And dammit, I want to do something right. Driving Charlie home tonight so I can f**k her until the sun rises—when she knows nothing about the man I am—does not feel right. That’s the kind of thing I do with Vicki and Rebecka. I won’t treat Charlie like those other women.

I want more.

“So security just let us on here?” Her arm waves out around us, her heels dangling from her fingers.

“Sure. I’m a member here.” The security guards at this private club all know me. I toss them money to look the other way when I come out to the pier in the middle of the night. I’ve been doing it for years. It’s my secret sanctuary. It’s the only reason I joined in the first place.

I’ve never brought someone with me, though. I’ve never wanted to. And tonight, I tossed them extra to keep anyone, including themselves, off the pier.

When the server came to collect our plates tonight, I panicked. I wasn’t ready to let Charlie go yet. I was enjoying myself too much. And that’s despite Larissa showing up. Of all people to run into . . . Fuck! Thank God that woman had the decency not to bring up the explicit details of our time together. That weekend began with an innocent drink by the bar at the same restaurant we were at tonight and ended with Larissa, her very attractive twenty-three-year-old female assistant, and a bag full of toys.

That woman is into some weird shit.

I went along with it, but the guilt ate away at me later and I promised myself that I’d never hook up with her again. Larissa is a female version of what I hate, taking advantage of her power. Yes, she’s beautiful and charming but she can be a coiled viper, like tonight, with Charlie. For a second there, I was sure she was going to proposition us for a foursome.

Something tells me Charlie has no interest in sharing me.

I grin, thinking about the smug smile touching Charlie’s beautiful, full lips as she reached across the table and claimed me. It may all have been for show, but in that moment, there was nothing I wanted more than to be hers.

Tonight, the way she handled Larissa with class and grace and an edge of bitch was beautiful. Unexpected.

It made me rock hard.

Which is why I had to take her somewhere other than my home. Even now, I can’t help but take note of how quiet and private this pier is. How dark it is. How easy it would be for me to get under that dress, something I’ve been fantasizing about doing for weeks.

We walk in silence, Charlie pressing further into me until we reach the park bench at the end of the pier.

“Do you come here a lot?”

“Every Sunday night, after Penny’s closes. Always alone . . .” I guide her to the bench at the end and sit down next to her, stretching my arm out along the back to get as close to her as possible without pulling her onto my lap. Waves of her creamy floral perfume keep hitting me, making me inhale deeply.

“It’s really pretty out here,” she murmurs, tipping her head back to rest on my arm, her lips curled into a peaceful smile. “Serene.” The moonlight shines over that pretty white neck of hers, exposed, and I find myself leaning in, fighting the urge to trail my tongue along it, all the way down along the full length of her body.

“Thank you for the flowers,” she offers suddenly, adding more softly, “I never thanked you earlier. They’re beautiful. The color is stunning.”

I guide her face toward me with a finger at her chin. “Brown eyes are pretty, but violet eyes . . . I can’t stop thinking about them.” It’s true. I haven’t. I’ve been dying to see them again, since the day I hired her. “Why do you hide them?”

She pulls in her bottom lip, no doubt deciding whether she’s going to tell me the truth or not. With a sigh, she says, “Because I need to be forgettable.” The pain in her tone is unmistakable and it tightens my chest. Is this because of that douchebag Ronald? Or another guy like him?

I can’t think about that guy right now. It’ll make my fists curl, and Charlie will notice. I drove by his apartment building earlier tonight and almost stopped. Almost.

But I didn’t. By the mediocre building, I’m guessing he wasn’t showering her with money and gifts in exchange for sex at any point. I don’t want to cause her more trouble and until I know what’s going on, stalking the guy might not go over well. “You’re a lot of things, Charlie Rourke, but forgettable is not one of them, violet irises or not.”

When she opens her eyes again, there’s a sad smile touching her lips. “Why do you come out here to think?”

Bittersweet nostalgia washes over me. “It reminds me of my childhood, back in L.A. My grandmother used to take my sister and me to the pier on Sunday afternoons when we were young.” Despite raising the despicable man my father turned out to be, I remember my nan being a kind, soft-spoken lady who hugged us a lot. I think she did the best she could as a single parent, holding down two waitressing jobs to provide for them. I never met my grandfather. He went to jail for armed robbery years before I was born, where he eventually died of a heart attack. From the few comments that my dad made about his temper and how he “taught” my dad to fight, the apple didn’t fall far from the tree.