Forever My Love (Berkeley-Faulkner #2)(21)

Mrs. Comfit chuckled warmly. “I know it has somethin’ to do with Lord Falkner, and it isn’t a surprise that you have an eye for a handsome man, not with you being twenty… you’re not the girl you were two years ago, Mira—and a woman needs a man, much trouble as they are. Have you gone to his bed? Is that it?”

Made uncomfortable by the cook’s frankness, Mira nearly exploded with defensiveness. “How can you even suggest that? How can you ask that, knowing that I’m Lord Sackville’s—”

“Aaaaa…” Mrs. Comfit drew out the vowel slowly, her expression both wry and chiding. “You should know by now, Mira, the servants are worse than a family—we know more, we’re smarter. Do you think that Percy doesn’t know what’s gone on for the past year or so? Do you think Mrs. Daniel doesn’t? Do you think I don’t know? Be honest for once, luv, and stop playing your game for a minute.““What game?” she asked, desperately trying to keep the truth from her face.

“Mira, do you think we’ve been fooled by Sackville’s jaunts up to your room? He’s a dear man, but he’s a man that’s got his problems, and there’s no hiding those kinds of problems. And I guess the agreement between the two of you was supposed to be kept secret… but it’s plain that you and he are only playacting your affair.”

“What makes you think that?”

“The sheets, for one thing. You must be an innocent, luv, if you don’t know that the sheets give it away every time. Mrs. Daniel collects the sheets from your room and Sackville’s room, both sets as clean and sweet as you please… and unless you two do it standing up or on the floor—”

“Oh, please!” Mira cried, covering her ears with her hands. “Don’t say any more!”

“That’s what I thought,” Mrs. Comfit said, nodding in a satisfied manner. “Now,” out with the rest. You’re miserable because of your duke.”

Mira sighed, resting her forehead in her hands. “He’s not mine. There’s nothing to tell. He hates me.”

“Luv, there isn’t a man alive who could hate you.”

“There is,” Mira insisted. “And I thought I hated him at first… but I think about him all the time, and I imagine all sorts of… Oh, it’s too embarrassing. When he smiles at me, I have the strangest feelings, hot and cold shivers. He’s like some sort of dreadful sickness! And no, I haven’t gone to his bed—from the way he acts sometimes, I don’t even think he’d allow himself to want me! But…” Her voice became a mere whisper. “He’s held me… close… and I forgot about everything but him. And the only thing I can think of to do when I’m around him is to say things that make him so angry…” She sighed and the mournful soliloquy ended with the glum observation, “I think I must care for him.““God bless you,” Mrs. Comfit said in the silence of the still kitchen. “You’re not the first and you won’t be the last, Mira.”

“Knowing that doesn’t help me. I’m tied to Lord Sackville, and Lord Falkner thinks that I’m his friend’s mistress.”

“Then untie yourself! Tell me something: what does the future hold for you here? You’re at the age to be living life, to be a real mistress, or to be a good man’s wife, and how are you going to meet any men when you’re playacting as Sackville’s woman? I’ll be one of the sorriest to see you go, Mira… but you must leave sometime to find your own life.”

“I know that,” Mira said glumly. “But it’s so hard to leave.” She had left so many places before, and she wondered if she would be able to anymore. Had she lost the strength to uproot herself once again? She would have to sooner or,later. Sackville would not want her here forever.

“Then don’t leave alone,” Mrs. Comfit urged, her eyes bright with affection and pity. “Maybe when your duke goes, you should ask him to take you along.”

They went shooting on foot one day, aiming for the succulent partridges and pheasants that abounded in the fields. Alec had not hit one bird all morning, causing those who had until now been envious of his phenomenal marksmanship to be more kindly disposed to him. As he took his hat off and wiped the back of his hand across his forehead, a gentle breeze ruffled his hair. He was suddenly irritated with the whole business of hunting. Somehow the thrill of it had dulled for him, and his heart was no longer in the sport. His mind kept wandering back to one absorbing, exasperating subject, and he was completely occupied with thinking of a way to end this maddening situation. Never one to allow a problem to nag at him for long, Alec came to the conclusion that he had to make some sort of decision soon. He would not let his reason be eroded by some little dark-eyed wench with a teasing smile.

But what kind of decision could he make concerning Mira? One by one he examined the beginnings of a list of possibilities. Steal her away from here and take her to his London apartments… confront Sackville openly about her… seduce her and then settle her at one of the small, convenient estates that numbered among the Falkner possessions… or perhaps he should take her abroad for a long stay in France, if that was what she wished. No matter what it took, he would find some way to have her even if it cost his friendship with Sackville, even if he had to sacrifice one of his few remaining virtues, that of loyalty. He did not know how long it would take before his obsession with Mira faded away, but Alec did not intend to go unsatisfied while it lasted. Perhaps he would have been able to play the gentleman and leave Mira alone had she shown signs of being happy with Sackville. But she was not happy or she would not have clung to him so tightly the other night, nor would she have talked to him so eagerly when he passed by her on his morning rides. She was not happy… he could see it in her eyes every time he looked at her.