Forbidden Falls (Virgin River #9)(67)

“Ellie, wasn’t there help available to you? I don’t know—like welfare? Food stamps?”

“Sure,” she said. “If there’s anything worse than working two jobs with little kids, it’s trying to figure out how to live on the ‘help.’ Do you know what I qualified for? If I worked a job that paid eleven dollars an hour—a real find—I could get an extra two hundred and twenty from the state. You ever try to live on about two thousand a month with two kids? My money was long gone before I even got to things like clothes for them and school supplies. Just keeping a roof over our heads, usually two rooms, gas in the car and insurance, the lights on and a babysitter for Trevor, as well as a sitter for after school and evenings for both of them…Well, I never did get that far. After my gramma died and I didn’t have a place to live anymore or a babysitter, I just couldn’t do it.”

“Didn’t your grandmother have a house to leave you when she died?” Vanni asked.

Ellie shrugged. “My gramma had a little tiny house that she’d kept mortgaging over the years. Between the two of us—her retirement benefits and my income from two jobs—we could keep going. But when she was gone, I couldn’t make those payments. I had to find something cheap to rent.”

“Aw, Ellie. I’m so sorry. And that’s how you ended up married to that jackass?”

“That kind of sums it up. I thought Arnie would take care of us. He was so sweet to the kids before we got married, so hard on them the very first day we lived with him. It was just awful. He was only looking for some people to boss around—I didn’t see that till it was too late. He’s still looking for control. It’s a nightmare for the kids. But, we’ll get through it and then we’ll move on, legally, and get out of the pastor’s hair.”

“No, Ellie!”

“It’s okay, Vanni. Noah took a real chance on me, just so I’d have a good job to take to court and get my kids back.” Vanni didn’t know the half of what Noah had taken on—giving a job to a stripper who’d lost her kids? A woman with two kids with two different dads, both times out of wedlock? One dead and one in prison? “I just need my kids.”

“You’re going to get them back, honey. And if you need my help on that, you just tell me what to do!”

“That’s so sweet,” Ellie said softly.

“What I want to know,” Vanni said, “is how you stay so positive after all you’ve been through.”

Ellie shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t take anything for granted. Good stuff doesn’t come my way all the time, so when it does—like this job that will get me my kids back, this town, friendship, people like you who can accept me even though I’m a big mess—that means something. And my gramma used to always say, ‘Gratitude brings happiness.’”

On Friday, after four full days of togetherness while Ellie played mommy’s helper, they were talking about the weekend while the kids had their lunch. “So, does Paul work on Saturdays?” Ellie asked. “That’s my day with my kids, so I can’t miss it, but if you’re going to be up a creek, I can go pick them up and bring them with me. They’re fantastic and they’d love playing with the little ones. They’re very careful and I’d watch every second. Danielle is so grown up at eight. Trevor’s a little clumsy, but I wouldn’t let him do anything with the tots that would cause harm. And while everyone’s sleeping—I could help with laundry and housework.”

Vanni smiled. “You never stop lending a hand, do you?”

“I intend to see my assignment through. I might need a letter of recommendation someday.” She sobered. “Seriously, Vanni—I don’t want you to be stranded again. I can pick up the kids and—”

“No, no, don’t. Just have a nice Saturday with them. I’m all caught up, thanks to you. Maybe Paul will make it a short day.”

“Then I’ll see you Monday?” Ellie asked, wiping little faces after lunch.

“If Noah says you’re not needed at the church,” Vanni agreed.

Ellie lifted Hannah out of the high chair. She had fixed two bottles and the women took the kids into the great room, settling in. Ellie held Hannah, and Vanni held Matt.

Ellie cuddled Hannah close. She was a precious little thing, her dark curls so silky and her cheeks so pink. Her eyes glittered with happiness. She held the bottle herself, but Ellie could tell she enjoyed being cuddled. “My gramma used to say, ‘Hold them whenever you can, Ellie. Touch and the sound of your voice is everything.’ And even now, when my kids are so big, it still seems to matter to them. Another thing she used to say was, ‘All you really need to tell them is that you love them no matter what and that you wanted them.’ Being wanted is very important in life. I don’t think my mother wanted me, but my gramma did, and she told me all the time that I was her blessing, her dream come true.”

Ellie sat on the sofa and Vanni in the chair with Mattie. And suddenly Hannah pulled the nipple of the bottle out of her mouth and turned her whole body away from Ellie. She held the bottle with one hand and stretched her other arm out toward Vanni. “Mama!” she said, and smiled. “Mama! Mamamamama…” And then she turned back, put the bottle back in her mouth.

“Well,” Ellie said. “You might not be there quite yet, but she is.”