Forbidden Falls (Virgin River #9)(58)

“What kind of bad things did you do?”

“Oh, you don’t really want to know…”

She smiled. “Oh, I really do!”

“I lied. I hustled girls, and not with pure thoughts. I drank too much. Had a couple of fender benders because I was driving too fast. Skipped school to go out to the lake with friends. That kind of thing.”

“Steal any cars? Get anyone pregnant? Do hard drugs?”

“Nah.”

“Then you weren’t really trying,” she said with a laugh. “So, if you got punished for little stuff, what did the old man do to you for getting drunk and wrecking cars?”

He smiled as if this was one of his few happy memories. “He almost lost his mind. He threatened to send me to boarding school, but I think we both knew no one would keep me for long while I was on that particular course. I was pretty incorrigible. Plus, I remember it was one of the few times my mother really stood up to him—she said, ‘Over my dead body, Jasper!’ It was fantastic. But eventually he packed me off to seminary. It didn’t work. I quit and went to Seattle where I tried to stay away from Bible studies.” He took a drink of beer. “So—were you in trouble a lot?”

She shook her head. “Never. Well, I missed some classes from oversleeping, but I worked late. My one big screwup was getting pregnant. I felt just terrible about that. My gramma was so sweet, but I really felt like I’d let her down. And then when Jason was killed, even though my life was a disaster, I was glad for the baby. Jason was sweet. A good boy. We’d dated since I was about fourteen. I guess in the end, there were just too many hormones between us.”

“You must have thought you were in love,” Noah said.

“You’re damn skippy,” she said. “I sure haven’t felt that way since. We had it bad. We had big plans, too. Well, probably they wouldn’t seem big to you…”

When her voice trailed off, Noah prodded. “What kind of plans?”

“Hmm,” she said, thinking. “Jason had this really good job in construction. He poured cement—he made a good living for a nineteen-year-old. He lived at home with his folks, so he had money to burn. But he saved and saved. For us. We were going to get married after I graduated, live in something small and work hard, and then after a few years, we were going to buy a house. Two stories, big yard, nice neighborhood. Not fancy, you know, but real nice. To me it would’ve been like a castle. Then the first baby a couple of years later…That would have brought me to about today.”

“Those sound like nice plans,” Noah said.

“He drove the motorcycle most of the time because it was cheap. The only reason I wasn’t on the back when that car hit him was because he wouldn’t let me ride anymore. Because I was pregnant.” She looked down. “You would’ve liked him.”

“He looked out for you the best he could,” Noah said. “You must’ve been real proud of him.”

The give-and-take went on through dinner. It didn’t surprise Noah at all that Ellie told him anything he wanted to know—she had been that way since the minute they met. She was unflinchingly honest. What surprised him was that he was so open. He rarely spoke about his father, and he only talked about Merry with their close mutual friends. “She was the sexiest, funniest girl in Seattle. I was twenty-seven, she was twenty-five, and she was not interested in some Goody Two-shoes who studied religion.”

“She told you that?” Ellie asked, laughing.

“She did. She said it was her opinion religion got in the way of faith and she thought most religions did more harm than good. So I promised her that I’d teach and counsel. Maybe just get a Ph.D. That way she’d never have to be stuck with a good-goody minister. And she said I would still be a man, and that would be burden enough.”

“I like her.”

“I couldn’t resist her. She was maddening. Exciting. Beautiful. So funny she almost made me forget I was nurturing a private rage against my father.”

“When do you suppose you’ll get tired of that?”

“I was hoping to be done with it by now. I think I was moving away from that when I found Merry. And when I lost her, I got mad all over again.”

“Well, duh,” Ellie said. “Noah, losing someone you love is supposed to make you mad. First you don’t believe it, then you get pissed. Aren’t you the one with the big education?”

After more talking, they picked up the dishes and washed and dried them companionably. And as Ellie dried the last pie plate, the towel slipped from her hand and fell to the floor.

“Got it,” he said, bending to pick it up. Just as she bent to pick it up.

Both of them were bent at the waist, reaching for the towel. Their faces came so close together, his cheek was nearly touching her cheek, his chin hooked over her shoulder. And when she could have moved away, he grabbed her upper arms in a firm but gentle grasp and said, very softly, “Don’t. Don’t move for a second.” And then slowly, carefully, he straightened with her until they stood, facing each other, his cheek against her cheek. “Be still. For just one minute,” he whispered. “Please.”

He let his cheek press gently against hers. Noah held her arms, but not tightly. If she wanted to pull back, pull away, she wouldn’t have a problem. But she didn’t, so he let his eyes gently close and inhaled deeply. She wasn’t wearing perfume; she smelled of soap and shampoo and dust and woman, the first woman he’d been this close to in quite a while. Her body was soft against his, though he resisted the temptation to pull her hard against him.