Following Me(91)

Brennan had also told Devon that she could stay with him, but she had turned him down as well. As much as she liked Brennan, she couldn’t let her life revolve entirely around a guy again. He had accepted her response with grace. It didn’t really matter anyway since she spent so much time with him. The distance just helped ground her and give her space when she needed it.

“I can’t believe school starts in a couple weeks, and I won’t be going back,” Devon said, staring out the window.

“You could still go back if you wanted,” Brennan said.

He was always encouraging her to go back. She knew he wanted her to finish her degree, and when the time was right, she wanted to finish it. But now wasn’t that time.

“I don’t think so. I can’t go back to that just yet. I need to get myself right first.”

“I know. I just don’t want you to think that you shouldn’t go back…” He trailed off with an awkward pause.

She caught his meaning and turned to face him. “Do you think I’m staying because of you?”

“I don’t want that to be your reason.”

“I want to be with you. I want to be in Chicago with you, but I’m not staying for you…if that makes sense. I know I need to finish college and get a job and all that. I just feel like I’ll never really do any of that well enough if I’m not well enough mentally. That’s why I’m staying. This is what I need,” she tried to explain.

“Okay. Good,” he said, smirking at her. “That’s what I wanted to hear.”

Devon relaxed back into the seat, feeling better now that she had explained herself. Therapy had helped with that. She found herself explaining everything to people. It was better than holing up inside of herself and being terrified of what she might say. At least now, she had a sense of control over what went on in her life. Brennan seemed to like it. He was her number one supporter. He always encouraged her to express her feelings and listened to her opinions.

“So, where are we going anyway?” she asked.

“You’ll see.” He smiled at her secretively.

Devon narrowed her eyes. “Is it a secret?”

“You could say that.”

“Can I guess?” She bit her lip and tucked one foot underneath her.

“No,” he said. “I’m not giving anything away. You’ll like it…I think.”

“I’ll take your word for it,” she said. She crossed her legs pretzel-style and stared out at the changing landscape.

Brennan pulled off of I-94 and started veering through the streets. The area was nice, and Devon found herself admiring the beauty and simplicity of life in the suburbs. Her parents lived in the suburbs, and while this was nothing like southern Nashville, it had the same feeling.

“This area is beautiful. Where are we?” Devon asked as they crested a hill.

She sat up taller in her seat and stared out at the shore of Lake Michigan. It stretched for miles and miles past her line of sight. It was gorgeous and glorious in its magnitude.

“The North Shore. Evanston,” he told her, driving down the hill.

“Wow,” she breathed, transfixed on the passing scenery.

Brennan slowed to a stop in front of a large all-brick house on a plot that bordered the lake. “This is where I grew up,” he said softly.

Devon’s eyes left the house and landed back on Brennan. “This is…your dad’s house?” she asked, feeling overwhelmed that he would bring her here.

“Yeah. It was. Mine now…I guess,” he told her, pulling into the driveway.

After the car came to a stop, Devon opened the car door and slid out of the seat. Brennan popped the trunk and pulled out his guitar case. Devon smiled. She liked seeing him with that. He had been playing and singing to her a lot more when she was at his place. It relaxed her and brought her back to the first gig she had ever seen him perform. She had been so caught up in him and his music that she had left the venue. She hadn’t trusted herself to be with him then. Her feelings were too strong even at that time.

They walked up to the front door, and Brennan just stood there with the key in his hand. He took a deep breath and slid the key into the slot. He turned the door and immediately disabled an alarm system. Devon cautiously stepped inside, feeling almost as if she were trespassing. But this was Brennan’s home. He owned it. It belonged to him. It was somehow still a part of him.

He stood next to her, his muscles tensed, as he breathed in the emptiness that was once a home. She could tell this was hard for him. He had told her before that he only came up here to mow the lawn. She didn’t know the last time he had been inside.

Devon reached out and placed her hand in his own. She squeezed gently, just letting him know she was there. She was there for him, just like he had always been there for her.

“I should have had someone come in here to clean beforehand,” he said wistfully. It should have been the last thing on his mind, but the only thing he could concentrate on.

Devon didn’t even notice that the house needed to be cleaned. She was too busy admiring the house itself with its massive high-vaulted ceilings, enormous fully furnished living room with a fireplace, and the twelve-person dining room table with antique china held in a nearby glass cabinet. The foyer opened to a spiral staircase, leading to a balcony upstairs. And that was just the view from the entranceway. Devon couldn’t imagine what else lay beyond.