Five Ways to Fall (Ten Tiny Breaths #4)(40)

Sliding his hands into his jeans casually, he turns and saunters back. “I grew up here and we helped my mama, so, yeah, I know enough.” Kicking at the tufts of grass trying in vain to take root among the sand, he explains, “My granddaddy used to say this place is the perfect storm for growing. The soil, the sunshine, and warm nights, and being by the ocean—all of it together makes this the best citrus farming country.”

Ben picks up a stick from nearby and slowly circles the old truck, slamming the wood against the metal and poking around the tires, watching the ground around it. “Mama’s got eighty-six acres of trees; mostly grapefruit and navel oranges. Some tangerines. The season starts in October and runs through until May. There’s no warehousing, no cold storage. The orders come in, we pick them, and then we send them to the packagers. Simple. I’m here most weekends during the season, helping. It cuts labor costs.”

Of course he is. For whatever else he is, Ben is a very good son to Wilma and, while I may have teased him about being a mama’s boy, seeing this side of him is endearing.

Tossing the stick to the side, he mutters more to himself, “Huh. Normally I get at least one rattler in here.”

I shudder as Ben drops the tailgate. It lets out a loud creak in protest; I’m surprised it hasn’t seized shut, as everything else about the truck is so old and decrepit. “This used to be my granddaddy’s.” He settles down on it and then holds his hands to beckon me forward. I relent, letting him grab me by the waist and lift me up next to him as if I weigh nothing at all. “Jake and I used to spend all day racing around out here, and then we’d sneak out of our rooms and hang out all night with friends, drinking under the stars. Those were the good ol’ days.” Ben leans back until he’s lying in the truck bed with his legs dangling over the edge. He nestles his head within his arms, the move pulling his shirt up just enough to expose a strip of hard flesh above his belt line. I don’t know when the hell Ben has time to work out, but he must still be doing it a lot. Maybe I should make more of an effort, given that he’s acting like he’s genuinely desperate to see me naked again.

But why am I thinking about impressing Ben? I’m so far from ready for another relationship and, when I am ready, it definitely won’t be with someone like him. What I’d get from Ben would be exactly what I was looking for in Cancún.

Something easy. Fun. Harmless. With an end date and no expectations.

“Do you see your brothers and sister a lot?” I ask, trying to distract myself from those thoughts as I eye his torso, his shirt strained against its curves.

“Nah, which is crazy, considering how close we were growing up. There’s only seven years between Josh and me. Jake and I are eleven months apart. He’s out in Mississippi working in the casinos. I talk to him every once in a while but I haven’t seen him in . . .” His brow bunches up in thought. “Three years now, I think?”

Is that normal? I have to think that it’s not, especially after meeting Ben’s mom. I’d think getting the family together would be a priority for her. “And the others?”

“Elsie moved out to San Diego for college and never came back. We talk on the phone once a month or so.” I catch a hint of regret in his tone when he admits that. “Rob and Josh are both living in Chicago. I haven’t seen them in years, but they send pictures of their kids.”

“That’s weird, isn’t it? I mean,” I look over my shoulder in the direction of the house, though I can’t see it from where we are, “I’d think your mom would be big on family holidays together.” I’m guessing Christmas with Wilma would be a just like in the movies, the house smelling of gingerbread and decorated in mistletoe.

“Yeah, it used to be a big deal around here,” he says with a sigh, and I feel a hand casually graze my back. “A lot of shit has gone down here, with my dad. No one comes around much anymore.” I feel like Ben has more to say but he leaves it at that.

“Not even to see your mom?”

“She went to California a couple of years ago to see Elsie. And she went to Chicago for a weekend to see Rob this past Easter. She ended up having a minor heart attack while she was there. A fluke really, but it’s a good thing it wasn’t out here, all alone.” Ben closes his eyes. “Everyone misses her, but not enough to come back here.”

“Why? What happened?” I know I’m prying, but this is Ben. If he doesn’t want to tell me, he’ll find a way around it.

“Just . . . family drama. My dad’s an ass**le and he doesn’t treat my mama well. He used to treat her really bad. You know, cheating on her and stuff. Now he’s just an old, pathetic drunk who hates the world.” Ben heaves a sigh. “I hate drama. I stay far away from it.”

“Switzerland.”

“Yup, you got it. Switzerland,” he murmurs, seemingly peaceful with his eyes closed. But there’s not a hint of a smile touching his lips and that’s rare for Ben. It makes me think he may actually be sad. “What about you?” he asks. “Brothers? Sisters? Besides Mason, of course.”

“Nope.” Annabelle said she didn’t want to ruin her body any more than she already had, having me.

“What’s with you two, anyway? I can’t tell if it’s all an act or if you actually hate each other.”