Fire Inside (Chaos #2)(76)

The ease of our post-making love morning drifted from his face when he replied, “Never looked back.”

“What’s that?” I queried.

“What?”

“That look on your face,” I explained, and he hesitated before he rolled us. I had been lying on him. Hop situated us so I was on my back and he’d pressed his front to my side, his hand splayed on my belly.

“Tack didn’t invite me to join so much as recruited me,” he stated in a way that sounded weirdly like a confession and I felt my eyebrows draw together.

“I don’t get it. I mean, aren’t all the guys recruited?”

“Not for what Tack recruited me.”

I knew from his tone and the look on his face, our happy morning seemed to have gone south somehow.

I just didn’t get it.

“What are you saying?” I asked hesitantly, not wanting our morning to go south and not really sure I wanted to know what he was saying.

“What I’m sayin’ is, the Club was different back then. You and me, we stay solid, you’re brought officially into the fold as an old lady when we let out the news about us, you’ll hear talk.” He studied me a moment before finishing, “You might have already heard it.”

“I haven’t already heard it,” I shared. “How was the Club different?”

“They were into some serious bad shit then.”

Oh dear.

I was right. I didn’t want to know.

Still, I had to.

So I pushed. “What kind of serious bad shit?”

“Seriously serious bad shit,” Hop evaded.

“Hop—”

“Lanie.” He lifted a hand and cupped my cheek. “It was not good. What it is, is over.”

“I think maybe I need to understand this,” I told him though I didn’t think I needed that. But I knew, if we went the distance, I’d have to know.

“I think maybe you need to trust me that you don’t.”

“So what if I hear talk?” I pressed.

“You’ll know it’s over.”

“Hop—” I began and his face suddenly got closer.

“Drugs,” he bit out, the word sharp but almost strangled, like he had his own monster who’d dragged it out of him and he had no control, no way to hold it back.

I gasped and he continued. “And girls. Seriously bad shit, lady. Seriously bad shit that Tack wanted nothin’ to do with. He wasn’t president back then but that didn’t mean he didn’t have an exit plan for the Club on all that shit. He also had patience. A lot of it. And part of his plan was not only workin’ behind the scenes to turn brothers to his mission but also to recruit brothers who would fight his side. I was one of the brothers he recruited. Dog and Brick, too. It took time and the takeover was hostile. It was a dark time for the Club but Tack planned for that, too. He led us to the light and that’s where we are now, Lanie. Swear to Christ. We’re in the light.”

“Drugs and girls?” I asked breathlessly.

“It’s over.”

“Girls?” My voice was pitching higher.

“Baby,” his hand pressed into my face, “it’s over.”

“So, if it’s over, what about Benito?” I asked.

“I already told you, not talkin’ about Benito and you gotta trust me on that, too.”

“Hop—”

He interrupted me this time by rolling full on top of me and framing my head in both hands.

“This shit… f*ck,” he ground out, paused and his face betrayed an inner battle before he continued, “you gotta know. You asked, this is part of me but this shit, I didn’t wanna tell you until later. But you asked so here it is. When I got in the Club, we were into that shit. You became a brother, you did your duty to the Club, and part of my duties was that shit.”

Suddenly, something High said weeks before penetrated.

“Exactly what part of that shit did you do?” I asked.

He held my eyes and answered straight out. “Lots of it but mostly, looked after the girls.”

My body jerked under his like it was trying to get away but his weight pinned me to the bed and his thumb swept down to press into my lips.

Even with his thumb hindering my words, I said, “You have a way with gash.”

His eyes flashed at my words. “Lanie, hear me, I did not like doin’ that shit and I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t know that it was a means to an end. Tack made promises, promises he kept, that it was temporary.”

“So you were a pimp?” I whispered in horror and his thumb swept away.

“Chaos pimped. I just took care of the girls.”

“I’m not seeing the nuance of difference, Hop,” I told him, my hands now at his shoulders, putting on pressure, and his jaw clenched.

“Hard to see since that nuance is just that. Chaos is me, I’m Chaos. But I wasn’t a pimp, woman. Another brother had that job. I was an enforcer. A girl got worked over, she came to me and I dealt with it. I wasn’t just an enforcer for the girls, I was one for the Club. I’m good with my fists. You learn that shit when you spend most of your life in bars, you have a guitar in your hands or not. When we were starting out, some of those bars were rough and shit happens. The president of the Club back then, he noticed I had talent in that area and he was a man who used that kinda talent. I took their backs. The girls just trusted me. I don’t have a way with gash, Lanie. But a john works you over and a man goes out and makes him bleed for that mistake, that bitch is gonna be grateful. It came natural and those women would have given it to any brother who took their backs like that.”