Fighting for Love (Second Chances #4)(69)

Everything happened so fast; one minute he was mine and we were planning our lives together, and then within a blink of an eye it was over … gone.

Closing his eyes, Matt lowered his head and remained silent, pressing his lips together in a firm line. There was my answer and it wasn’t the one I wanted.

“I see,” I whispered, my voice quivering.

I was holding on by a thread, but if I gave in to the dark hole inside of me like I did before I was afraid I wouldn’t find my way out. Jace and Lexi were the ones who stood by me and pulled me out when all I wanted to do was give in to the numbness and let it seduce the pain away. The longer Matt looked at me, the more closed off he became, which in turn inched me closer to the beautiful darkness where nothing hurt.

Turning on his heel, I knew this time he was actually going to leave. His determination to put space between us was evident with the forcefulness of his strides. It was over.

“We both know what space means, Matt,” I hollered after him. He kept walking, but I continued anyway, “I know I made a mistake, but you aren’t the only one who’s suffering. Please, don’t do this to me.”

He faltered for only one second before disappearing inside of his garage. The rumbling of his motorcycle echoed into the air, and almost instantly he shot straight out, speeding his way down the driveway to the road, getting the distance he wanted.

Falling to my knees, I buried my head in my hands and screamed. He wasn’t coming back; he didn’t want to come back. I never would’ve thought that one mistake in life could’ve ruined every single chance of happiness for the future. My future was dim and gray to begin with, but now it was turning completely black before my eyes.

The last thing I felt before my body gave out and my head hit the stone driveway was the sharp, aching pain of a thousand needles piercing into my heart, except now I could only feel the pain in my head and the warmth leaving my body. I welcomed that pain with open arms because at least it wasn’t my heart.

My heart couldn’t take anymore.





I HAD A DAUGHTER … MADELYN.

There was a beautiful little angel in heaven that I never had the chance to meet. Out of all the secrets Shelby could’ve kept from me …

I made it halfway to Salt Lake City before spinning my bike around and heading back to California. I wanted to go back to Shelby and tell her everything would be all right, but I couldn’t. The ride helped me to calm down, but it also helped me to see things clearly. Being angry with Shelby was my first instinct, and also angry that I found out the truth from Kyle instead of her.

She may have had the best intentions keeping the knowledge of my child away from me in hopes I’d make something out of myself, but I would’ve done that anyway. I had no doubt I would have followed my dreams and became who I was today even with her and a child to support. She and the baby would have been my inspiration; they would have been all I needed.

My eyes were sore from lack of sleep, and as I rubbed them it felt like tiny particles of sand grating against my eyelids. Instead of going home last night, I showed up on Carter’s doorstep and he let me in, no questions asked.

“Son, you awake?” Carter asked, knocking on the door.

“Yeah,” I groaned. I never went to sleep.

Carter opened the door and in his hands was a large cup of steaming coffee. He set it on the bedside table beside the palm tree lamp and sat down on the bed, sighing. “I figured you’d need something to wake you up. I heard you pacing all night. Care to talk about it?”

I didn’t know if I could tell him what happened without breaking down, so I shook my head and reached for the coffee.

“No worries, son,” he said, glancing around the room. A small smile tilted up his lips when his gaze landed on something in the corner; it was a coat rack in the shape of a palm tree. The whole room was decorated in nothing but palm trees and beach themes.

“You know, I really need to get Evie to do something else to this room. I love her to death, but the palm trees have to go. When you get married one day you’ll understand. For some reason, I can never tell that woman no.”

I was like that with Shelby. Whatever she wanted, I would’ve given her just to see a smile on her face. Her only problem was that she never asked anything of me until …

Yesterday.

She asked me not to leave her and I did, even though in my heart it was the last thing I wanted to do. I guess that was the same way she felt when she left me. It was one of the hardest things I’d ever had to do.

“Carter,” Evie called from downstairs, “your cell phone is ringing.”

Carter patted me on the knee and got to his feet. “Whatever’s going on I know you’ll do the right thing, you always do. Now get dressed and meet me downstairs. We’ll head to the gym and get you all warmed up for the fight tonight.”

My head wasn’t even in the fight, it was somewhere else. Once Carter walked out and shut the door, I changed into a pair of black and white track pants and a blue T-shirt. Maybe training would get my mind in the right place. After straightening up the bed, I grabbed my bag and helmet and rushed downstairs to the kitchen where Carter stood talking on his phone with a grief-stricken look on his face.

“Yes, I’ll be sure to let him know. Thanks, Garrett. I’m sure he’ll be grateful for that,” he said into the phone, staring straight at me.