Fighting For You (Danvers #4)(35)
“Yeah, but it’s nothing formal. Julie is going to take him to the playground there and asked us to drop by and be introduced as friends of hers. She doesn’t want to mention anything around him about me being his father. I don’t think she trusts me to stick around since, rightly so, her opinion of me isn’t very high.”
“Well, why didn’t she tell you when she found out she was pregnant and at least give you a chance?”
“She claims she tried to find my contact information from the military, but they weren’t very forthcoming which is probably true. I’m usually pretty good at picking up on bullshit and she seemed nothing but sincere.”
“I’d be happy to go along tonight, Declan, if you don’t think it will make things more awkward?”
He sagged against her in relief. “Thank you. I already told her that I wanted to bring someone along. I . . . I don’t want to go alone.” Taking a quick look at his watch, he stood up and pulled her to her feet. “We need to head out.”
Ella let Declan settle her in his car and was relieved when he turned on the radio. It seemed they both needed time to ponder the meeting ahead without having to make conversation. It was amazing how far off-track this evening had veered from what she had been expecting. Declan had a son or supposedly did. He seemed to be handling it remarkably well.
She wasn’t sure how she felt about it. She loved kids and would, of course, love a child of Declan’s even more. Probably the biggest thing she had felt initially other than surprise had been fear. She was attached to Declan. Even though they had only been dating a short time, they had formed a bond over the last few months before they had actually taken the relationship to the next level. She knew it was selfish, but she was afraid of what this would mean for them as a couple. Would this be so overwhelming for him that he would need to step back from her to concentrate on his son?
She was also curious about the child’s mother. She had seen her with Claire briefly that morning, but didn’t remember anything other than thinking she was pretty. Declan had said that there was nothing sexual about their conversation and that it had centered squarely on the child, but would it remain that way? He was such an attractive man and the attraction must have been mutual since they had slept together once before. She felt her head spinning as she thought of all the different scenarios that were possible there. Her mother always said that life never gave you more than you could handle, but she had a feeling her life was about to put that saying to the test in the not so distant future. She was so lost in her thoughts that she almost jumped out of her skin when Declan laid a hand on her leg.
“You were a million miles away, Ellie. I know it’s not fair of me to dump this on you so soon. Is this crossing the line? I can drop you at home if you aren’t comfortable with this.”
She laid her hand on top of his and knew that for tonight, she needed to be the stronger person in their relationship. He had asked her to be a part of one of the biggest moments in his life and she needed to stop thinking about how this would affect her and worry about how it was affecting him right now. If she freaked out over this, he wasn’t likely to include her in any other activities that included his son. Funny, it wasn’t a question to her whether this was his child, she knew deep down that this was no false alarm and Declan seemed to feel the same. “I’m good, I promise. It’s a lot to take in, but I’m here for whatever you need.” He pulled her hand to his mouth and kissed her fingers. She felt that tingle that she always felt when he touched her.
When they pulled into the parking lot, she wanted to laugh at the look on his face. There were kids jumping in and out of cars and minivans and they had to wait on one family of six to cross in front of their car before they could park. Smiling to herself, she had to wonder how many times he had been in a McDonald’s over the years. He didn’t strike her as a fast-food type of guy and certainly not one that catered to children.
He took her hand like a lifeline when they reached the sidewalk. “Showtime.” Somehow his statement seemed more like a question. She nodded her head in agreement and gave his hand a reassuring squeeze before they walked inside. “Julie said we should get food so that it doesn’t look strange that we’re here,” he said. They both settled on a quarter pounder and fries. His pace got slower and slower as he carried their tray toward the loud play area. “That looks like total hell in there,” he muttered.
Ella had to laugh. It was adorable that he was terrified to go into a room full of kids. “You can do it; I’ve got your back. They usually don’t bite.”
“Bite? Damn, are they kids or animals?”
Shaking her head, she said, “Sometimes it’s hard to tell, but that goes the same for most people. Do you see Julie?”
Declan looked through the glass enclosure and pointed to Julie sitting in a back booth with a small, dark-haired little boy beside her. Ella almost plowed right into his back when he suddenly froze in place. He turned to her with a look of true panic on his face. “I don’t think I can do this.”
She had been impressed and surprised that he was taking something this huge so well. But here was the true evidence of what he was feeling. Looking at him now, she knew he had been operating on pure adrenaline and now he was crashing. She pulled him gently away from the windows before Julie could see them and took the tray from his hands. “Sit down here for a moment and take a deep breath.”