Falling for the Good Guy (Can't Resist #2)(11)

“Please, Abby. Just tell me. What did I do wrong?”

“Nothing. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“You’re hurting and it’s tearing me up inside. Just tell me. What was it that I did to upset you? I’ll fix it, I swear.”

If only there was something to fix. Breaking her gaze away, she called herself every horrible, petty name in the book for feeling the way she was, before finally admitting quietly, “You called me Beth while you were kissing me.”

He sucked in a sharp breath and stilled.

She couldn’t bring herself to look at his face.

After a few stunned moments of silence, he moved to comfort her. And then paused before touching her. “Abby, I’m so sorry. I don’t even remember… I mean I couldn’t have…” His voice trailed off, leaving them in an uncomfortable, thick cloud of tension.

Yeah…there really wasn’t any right thing to say after someone called you by his dead wife’s name.

“I promise it won’t happen again, Abby,” he finished softly.

That made her look up. “You can’t promise that, Brian. You and Beth were in love for fifteen years. They make movies out of the kind of high school sweetheart love you two had.” Abby shut her eyes, tried to stem the flood of happy memories she’d always been envious of, but never actually jealous of until now. “Even when Beth couldn’t speak, couldn’t move any more, she was still the center of your world, the love of your life. And I was there, I saw first hand that your love for her didn’t fade one bit when her dementia set in, just as I’m certain it didn’t die just because she did.”

“I never said it did. I’ve explained—”

Abby cut him off with a weary, “I can’t compete with that, Brian. She’s always going to be there between us. Every time we laugh at something Beth would’ve given us a strange look over. Every time we come to her birthday, your anniversary, or…mother’s day.” Daggers stabbed her in the chest. “Every time you look at Skylar. Beth will always be there. And I’ll always feel like…” She couldn’t say it. Could barely stomach even thinking it.

“Feel like what?” he asked gently.

“Like the other woman who moved in on her dead friend’s husband.”

He hissed out a curse. “That would never be the case, Abby.”

“It already is the case. I can’t do this, Brian. It’s not right.”

“Only because you’re not letting it be. Are you saying I’m not ever supposed to move on with my life?”

“No, of course not.”

“Then what? What is so wrong with me choosing you? With wanting to move on with my life with you?”

Frustrated, she tried a different tactic. “Okay, let’s flip the situation. What if Connor hadn’t left me by his own volition? What if the situation were like Beth’s and he was taken from me? What if Connor was always still lingering as this perfect beacon in my past? Could you do it? Could you move in on me?”

He shifted uncomfortably. “That’s an entirely different situation.”

“Only because Connor chose to leave me. If he hadn’t…”

True and awful pain streaked across his face. “Then you’d choose him over me, that’s what you’re saying isn’t it?” he said hollowly. “You’re saying that I’d never stand a chance in a Sullivan showdown over your heart.”

“You don’t get to look at me like that, Brian! This is the exact same situation you’re in! If Beth hadn’t died, you’d still be with her. Can you deny that? We both know that I’d never even register on your showdown radar if Beth were still alive. And we wouldn’t be having this discussion, this drama.”

“This chance,” he nearly shouted. “This is a chance for us, Abby, a first chance. To fall in love. To be in love.”

“You can’t have that kind of love with two people at the same time,” she shot back brokenly, her voice wavering just a bit because for the first time, she was actually questioning if what he was saying was a possibility. If this was their chance.

Impossible.

For one simple reason.

“You never fell out of love with your wife.”

“Which is my point, Abby. I’m not going to stop loving her just because she passed away. But that fact hasn’t prevented me from loving you. You and I, we’re both proof that it’s possible to have that kind of love for two people at the same time.”

“Well maybe you can do it, but I can’t. You’re right, I admit it. I do still love Connor. Even though he’s apparently met someone better than me and moved on, I can’t just turn my feelings for him off and start loving you.”

“I came first,” he growled.

Startled, she looked up to see Brian staring down at her with the most intensely possessive look she’d ever seen him wear.

“You loved me first, Abby. And then you fell in love with him.”

Was he right about that?

“And again, that’s my point. Sweetheart, I’m not asking you to turn anything off. I’m just asking you not to shut yourself off from something that’s already in your heart. Give us a chance.”

“A chance,” she repeated. “You keep saying that but what does that even mean?”