Falling Light (Game of Shadows #2)(73)

“Don’t preach at me anymore right now, damn it.” The younger woman dashed the back of her hand across her eyes. “You’ve done nothing but push at me since we’ve become reacquainted. I don’t want to hear platitudes about making choices or making sacrifices, or about living or dying well, or reasons why we came here. I’ve already lost the life I had. I just lost someone that I loved very much. And as you pointed out in excruciating detail, I’ve lost count of how many people have died just in this week alone.”

“Kinda makes you want to run away from it all, doesn’t it?” Astra said.

She had gone probing for a nerve and found one.

Astra’s shoulders sagged when Mary’s gaze fell away. Even now, Astra thought, after all this time and all that has happened, Mary cannot wholly commit to this battle. How many more Justins will it take to end this? How many more blood-filled decades would they have to witness or sacrifices would Astra have to endure?

Sadly, she bent over Mary’s kneeling figure and reached out a hand.

“Astra,” Michael said from behind her.

She looked over her shoulder, then straightened.

Michael stood a good fifteen feet away from her, and in one hand he held his gun.

• • •

WHEN ASTRA HAD gone outside to talk to Mary, Michael had prowled the confines of the cabin while he wondered how long he should let them to talk.

The tired expression on Astra’s face had been enough for him to step aside and let her go out to Mary. But the decision left him feeling uneasy.

And so he prowled.

Why was he so uneasy?

Possible answers came quickly. He was losing his perspective. After lifetimes of increasing self-isolation, he had allowed someone inside his fortress. He had become invested. In some ways, it was easier when everything was pastel. One could make hard decisions without having one’s thinking skewed by fear, grief and pain. Just look at how those emotions tore at Mary.

He paced the length and breadth of the cabin while his patience grew thin. He looked out at the women in the garden and studied them with a scowl. What were they saying to each other?

Astra’s posture was eloquent with emotion. Tension vibrated from Mary’s kneeling figure.

Mary, who had confessed that Astra scared her.

Astra, who had said yesterday that she didn’t have time to mother-hen them. Yet she had been so quick to follow Mary outside.

Danger breathed gently on his internal antenna.

He never questioned his instincts. Questioning took time that could all too often turn fatal. Instead he lunged for his gun and sprinted outside.

He stood on the balls of his feet with the gun held at his side, the muzzle pointing to the ground. He kept far enough away that Astra couldn’t reach him, and he noted with icy precision just how easily she could put her hand on Mary’s shoulder.

“Astra,” he said.

She turned and straightened. She caught sight of the gun and disappointment deepened the lines on her face. Like he gave a flying f**k.

Back away from her, he warned her telepathically. Now.

Michael, Astra said. This isn’t going to work. We have too much at stake. Let’s diffuse the situation while we still can. Let me send her on to her next life. It would be peaceful. You can follow her if you like. We can start fresh in your next life and we’ll fight the Deceiver as a united force. I swear she won’t feel any fear or pain.

I would, he said. He raised his gun.

Mary didn’t notice the razor’s edge she walked. Astra’s body blocked Michael from her line of sight, and she was still focused on their previous conversation.

Mary said, “Why is it such a crime to want to run away from this nightmare? It’s a reasonable reaction when you don’t have a death wish. You’re not just prepared to die, Astra—you want to. Well, I don’t, and I’m still here. That counts for something, damn it.”

“It counts for a hell of a lot,” Michael said. “Especially when what you want more than anything in the world is to spend a summer on the beach.” His swordsman’s gaze slashed with Astra’s.

After a moment, Astra’s gaze dropped. “Of course it does.” She looked shaken. She rubbed at her face. “I’m sorry. Don’t mind me. I’m just so tired.”

“That kind of tired can make an ugly situation worse.” Michael bit out the words.

“Don’t push it,” Astra gritted. “I said I’m sorry.”

Mary stood to brush the dirt off the knees of her sweatpants. Michael noted she still didn’t seem to notice the strain between him and Astra. Her face tilted up to the northern sky. She took a few heedless steps forward.

“What’s that?” In a voice that had gone small and scared, she repeated, “What is that?”

He looked up. A bare rocky patch of ground broke the line of trees, through which one could catch a glimpse of the silvery Lake. The sky was sunny and cloudless, but the northern horizon was covered in a sulfurous black haze.

Michael sent his attention winging north. Astra was already ahead of him, her expression stricken, straining.

Astra breathed, “The Upper Peninsula is on fire.”

Chapter Twenty-five

WILDFIRES ARE THE very definition of running amok. They can move at incredible speeds as they consume everything in their path.

The evening before, he had radioed his people from the grounded helicopter, then walked along the southern coast of the U.P. He called lightning down several more times to be sure the fire took hold. It roared into gorgeous, ravenous life.