Fallen Crest Public (Fallen Crest High #3)(66)

I couldn’t. That was my truth for the morning. I couldn’t go back to that school, but I couldn’t afford not to. Coach Grath already said that I’d have to bust my ass to catch up to my old times. As soon as I was cleared by the doctor, he wanted to meet for individual training sessions. I needed that scholarship, I had no one to help me now. I needed to go to college. Kate would be there …

I couldn’t. I just couldn’t.

“What do I do?” My voice hitched on a sob.

“Oh, Samantha.” Malinda rushed into the room and folded me against her. She wrapped her arms around me gently and cradled my head to her. “Oh, Samantha, honey.”

At the feel of her arms, I was jerked to a different reality. This one felt alien.

This was what a mother did. She comforted. Malinda wasn’t my mother. She was dating David, who was rarely at the house. It hit me then that he’d been avoiding me or maybe he’d been avoiding a moment like this. Malinda took his place and because of that I couldn’t let her. I wouldn’t be reassured by her. There would be a time when she’d leave me too. It was inevitable.

I moved back and tried to give her something that resembled a grin. “It’s fine. I’m fine.” She grimaced. My smile must not have looked like one. I tried for another and repeated, “I’ll be fine. Really.”

“Oh, Samantha.”

I heard her stricken tone and prepared myself.

She raised a hand and tucked some of my hair behind my ear. Her touch was gentle. “I’m not like the rest.”

My eyes jerked to hers.

“I know what it’s like to be abandoned and left behind. I do. I know what it’s like, and I’m not here to make excuses for your father. That’s between you and him, but me—I’m here for you. I won’t leave you. I had Mark when I was young. His dad didn’t stick around.” She chuckled. “His dad didn’t even stick around long enough for me to say he didn’t stick around. He was out the window the second he saw my pregnancy test. You know what happened to me?”

I was listening to her. There was a pull to her, and I couldn’t not listen to her, but I didn’t answer.

“I got thrown out of my family. I’ve been out on my own ever since. My family is full of pretentious ass**les and bitches that think they’re better than everyone else. Pissed my grandfather off. He didn’t like not being able to see Mark, so he left me his money.” Another dry chuckle. “That changed their tunes. They tried seeing me, apologized out of their asses. They sent over Mark’s cousins to be friends. That one I couldn’t fight. He’s close to a few of them, but I could fight the rest. I was an embarrassment to them, but I became an inspiration when all those dollar signs were connected to me. Pansies. I hated my family. For years I hated them, and now I just want nothing to do with them.”

I grinned as an ache started in my chest. “Didn’t you hear the phrase that family means everything?”

“Not to you.” There was nothing held back from her. “Not to me. Sometimes family hurts you more than they could ever love you. That’s a truth a lot of people don’t want to hear, but sometimes people get the opposite. They get the families that love you more than they could ever hurt you. Those people are the luckiest in the world. You know what pisses me off? Is that they probably don’t even know it. They don’t know how lucky they are, but, Sam, you’re one of them.”

I sucked in a breath. That ache was a stabbing pain now.

She leaned forward. Some of her long hair fell forward, but she ignored it as she grasped my shoulders. Malinda moved so we were eye-level. “Forget the people who’ve hurt you. You don’t have them anymore, but you have two others that’ll do anything for you. Mason and Logan would move mountains for you. I see how you are with them. You love them, but you’re scared to let yourself be happy. Why? Because that’s when they’ll leave? Is that what you think? You’ve got it all wrong. Those two will never leave you.” She tapped my chest. Once. Twice. “You. You’re the one that’s going to hurt them. You have that power, and you don’t know it. You could rip those two apart in a second, and they’re the ones who are scared of you. Not the other way around. You need to recognize the real situation.”

“My situation?”

She moved back. As her hands left my shoulders, I was able to breathe again. My chest was lighter. She went to the far wall and leaned against it. Folding her arms, she shook her head. “You got beat up. Bones and bruises heal. Those girls didn’t win because they didn’t do what they wanted. They wanted to break you.”

I was already broken.

“You’re not broken at all.”

I held my breath at her words.

She added, “Those two boys have healed you. They took you in. They protected you. They continue to love you because they’re your family and both of them know it. They love you for the same reasons they don’t love anyone else. You’re pure. It might not make sense to you, but you don’t use them. You don’t want anything from them. You don’t want to hurt them. Your love for both of them is pure.” Then she cracked a grin. “I might come off as a batty old shithead, but I’m no dumb broad. I know it because I recognize it; it’s why I snatched your father up so quick, and I made sure he had no choice but to date me. I’m not saying he’s made the best choices, but your father has the same pure love inside of him.” She rolled her eyes. “Doesn’t mean he knows how to show it. He’s dug himself a grave and instead of filling it back up, he ends up digging himself another one. He’s been doing that with you all these years, but he’s a good man underneath. He’s a good man to me. I love your father very much, and I’d like to love you like a daughter.” She brushed a tear away, giving me a trembling smile at the same time. “But I’m not here to pressure you or tell you what to do. Believe it or not, I meant to ask you about breakfast, but then I got on my damn soap box. Sorry about that.”